Message: We Are God's Children

To you I give my life Not just the parts I want to To You I sacrifice These dreams that I hold onto Your thoughts are higher than mine Your words are deeper than mine Your love is stronger than mine This is no sacrifice, here’s my life To You I give the gifts Your love has given me How can I hoard the treasures That You designed for free? To You I give my future As long as it may last To You I give my present To You I give my past

The above verses are a song we sung in our Monday night Chi Alpha meeting. It seemed to set the tone for what God was going to speak to me later that night. There was one other song, but I suddenly can't remember which it was. Somewhere in the meeting, our college pastor had introduced two young men that were foreign exchange students, one from Africa (Songe') and another from Australia (Paul, whom you could almost mistake for sounding a bit British). It was a comment that Paul made that struck me. "Doing something for God - not about us doing something for Him, but about Him doing something through us".
Scott came up to give his message shortly thereafter. Nothing concerning the first half of the message really had an effect on me, but somewhere toward the end, the Spirit really got my attention, and I believe I sat there and wept through the rest of it.
He talked about two ways in which we need to change, the first being the way we view ourselves. For years I have struggled with who I am physically. Years of ridicule from schoolmates left me with a very much diluted ability to see myself as anything but who God sees me as. Slowly but surely, that is beginning to change. I keep having to tell myself over and over, no matter what, I am loved by God. ( a while ago I sent a blog survey and one question swas asking if they thought I was attractive. It blew me away when someone had said 'yes'.
The second way in which we need to change is in the way we live our lives. I need to grow in Him, and let me tell you the more I read His Word, the more in love I become with my Savior. As many times as I have read His Word, I kick myself for thinking that there would be no other way a verse could speak to me, and then Scott read Hebrews 12:1, '...run with preseverance the race set before you.' The latter portion 'the race set before you' hit me like a ton of bricks as God spoke to my heart concerning that phrase. God has already mapped out where I am to go and what I am to do in my life, He is teaching me valuable lessons through these things, why am I trying to control what happens to me and when? A hard lesson I am having to learn is to just "Trust Him". (Even while working with the Bridges program and beoming frustrated with some of it, God has been speaking to me 'look past the frustration and see the good that will come out of this on the other side').
In the meantime, I need to consecrate (set apart) myself for what God wants to do in my future.
After his message, there was a short time of worship where I found myself repenting of trying to take control of what happens to me and when, and not trusting God and the fact that He has a future already mapped out for me; one that is beyond anything I could ever fathom.
Afterward, I came home and started rereading a small book that J and N gave me years ago. "P.S., God Loves You"