20-Day Gratitude Challenge

20-Day "Choosing Gratitude" Challenge 2019Your Challenge: For twenty days, Ask God to show you the many ways in which He has blessed you. Keep track of what He shows you and express gratitude to Him and others *daily* for specific praises. 

DAY ONE: A Declaration of Thanksgiving and Praise

And they sang responsively, praising and giving thanks to the LORD, “For he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever toward Israel.” And all the people shouted with a great shout when they praised the LORD, because the foundation of the house of the LORD was laid.       ~ Ezra 3:11

As God's people, we need to dedicate each day for Thanksgiving and praise for all that God has done for us---even in the midst of conflict and trials. Be an igniter of gratitude by encouraging those you love and care about to cultivate a thankful heart too.


Lord, teach me to cultivate a thankful heart. Help me choose to give thanks in the places I most want to complain. I want my life, my heart, and my attitude to have gratitude for Your provision each and every day. 

HFTCN: Evening Service

Evening Service ~ Church of the Open Bible

Song by Trish and Jeremy Eisele , "I won't go back"

Prayer ,
Father, remove the chains on this nation. Drugs, alcoholism, abuse, oppression. Soften hearts to the Gospel. Give your ministers BOLDNESS to go where there is need (even if that means me)
Call us out God, to go! Call Your people out of their sin!

Worship: I'm Forgiven
                Your Love Oh Lord
                Where the Spirit of the Lord Is.... (there is freedom)
                We Wait For You (To Walk In the Room)
                The More I Seek You

GOD:  I'm in the little things AND the big. Invite me in!

Pastor Joel Niles : Anointing, Power, Presence

                  I Could Never Thank You Enough

Father, break through the barriers
              we're not good enough
                             strong enough
                             smart enough
                             capable enough

Replace it with God-Confidence

Break chains of distraction

"There is a HUGE need, right here!" ~ Pastor Eisele

***** Give me a heartbeat that says, "What can I do?"

*Filled with the Spirit every day

Anticipation

Don't yield nor submit to the enemy

Ephesians 5: Our fight is not with flesh and blood, know who you are in God

45 CHILDREN TODAY!!!  (each day we saw an increase)

HOPE for the Crow Nation ~ "I'm a Transformer"

 <3 5:1-5="" p="" romans="">FAITH triumphs in trouble
(Transformational, not just functional)

Romans 5:3-4
and not only that, but..."Lord, where are You now!? God, what are You going to do with this?"

Mogli ~ Jungle Book, "We've got to learn them all we know"
     <3 glory="" in="" p="" tribulations="" your="">
My father did not tell me how to live, but lived and let me watch

*** God's plans are not the same as ours ***
God, why have You stopped me here?   Listen

2Corinthians 12:9 ~ But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me

His grace is sufficient

Things may not be going the way I planned, but God is still in control
Jeremiah 29:11

Don't think small
Is everything I have sufficient for Him?

<3 2corinthians="" 4:17="" p="">2 Corinthians 4:17 ~ For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison

(Be a Proverbs 31 woman)
worker, doer
Don't look for a husband
Do what God has called you to do today
Be a victor, not a victim

He has given me everything I need to do what HE has called me to do *today*
(I tend to look waaay far ahead into the future, which gets depressing)

Romans 8:18
<3 5:1-5="" p="" romans=""><3 glory="" in="" p="" tribulations="" your=""><3 2corinthians="" 4:17="" p="">For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us
Am I lifting up my problems more than my praise to God
<3 5:1-5="" p="" romans=""><3 glory="" in="" p="" tribulations="" your=""><3 2corinthians="" 4:17="" p="">
<3 5:1-5="" p="" romans=""><3 glory="" in="" p="" tribulations="" your=""><3 2corinthians="" 4:17="" p="">Romans 5:3-4 , produces character
<3 5:1-5="" p="" romans=""><3 glory="" in="" p="" tribulations="" your=""><3 2corinthians="" 4:17="" p="">² Through him we have also obtained access by faith^[a] into this grace in which we stand, and we^[b] rejoice^[c] in hope of the glory of God. ³ Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, ⁴ and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,

Philippians 2:22 (we shall be doing the same today)
But you know Timothy's^[a] proven worth, how as a son^[b] with a father he has served with me in the gospel.

brother from another mother, brother from the same father

Joint heirs

In my weakness, His strength is perfect
His grace is sufficient

Be transformed, to be a transformer

D.O.G.S. ~ Disciples of God's Son

WORSHIP: Peace Like a River
                    Open the Eyes of My Heart
                    Let it Rise

In our fellowship time after service, I had the opportunity to share some of my life story with Pastor Red Star.  Very encouraging





<3 5:1-5="" p="" romans=""><3 glory="" in="" p="" tribulations="" your=""><3 2corinthians="" 4:17="" p="">
<3 5:1-5="" p="" romans=""><3 glory="" in="" p="" tribulations="" your=""><3 2corinthians="" 4:17="" p="">
<3 5:1-5="" p="" romans=""><3 glory="" in="" p="" tribulations="" your=""><3 2corinthians="" 4:17="" p="">


<3 5:1-5="" p="" romans=""><3 glory="" in="" p="" tribulations="" your=""><3 2corinthians="" 4:17="" p="">
<3 a="" be="" not="" p="" victim="" victor="">



 

HFTCN :Proverbs 18:6 ~ A fools lips walk into a fight and his mouth invites a beating

Pastor Harris Red Star Hardin Bible Church
Proverbs 18:6 ~ A fools lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating

I serve a God who is mightier
They (the world) want a brother, sister, encourager
My prayers are powerful!  Even more powerful than a pastor sometimes

FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS

Pastor Jeremy Eisele : Smith Wigglesworth ~ God said it, I believe it, that settles it!

Empty me Lord, and fill me with You!

"Indian Time" (when church starts, usually an hour later)

my prayer : "Lord, stir up a hunger for You, to know You! 
(God answered one night when children rushed to the altar when they were asked who wanted to live for Jesus. 

WORSHIP: Pastor Jeremy Eisele  ~ Protect your pulpit
"Oh Happy Day!"
"Here for a Reason"  ~ speaking right to me, a pep-talk of sorts, to myself
*NEW* Come Like the Dawn
Take Me In
     my prayer, "Lord, don't let me come out the same!"
Oh, the Blood of Jesus
<3 in="" jesus="" p="" victory=""> 

Hope for the Crow Nation ~ God Wants Us Here for a Reason

Sermon ~ Pastor Joel Niles (Hamilton Assembly of God children's Pastor)
  Why Did God Save Me?
Worship: To tell others (Michali)

God did not save me to go to Heaven. There is a work for us to do here on Earth.
Be obedient when He tells you to do something.
 <3 ask="" do="" equip="" for="" god="" he="" me="" not="" p="" something="" that="" to="" will="">Even in my discouragement God, give me the means to do , to give me the strength what He has me to do.
     Philippians 4:13 ~ I can endure all things.
Enter His gates with thanksgiving ; when you are discouraged, think of something you are thankful for
 <3 eyes="" keep="" open="" p="" spiritual="" your="">
***<3 u="">Tell the enemy he HAS to flee!

I
am a 'Game Changer' ~ Pastor Redstar  (Hardin Bible Church ~ Hardin, Montana)

HAOG Missions Trip 2016 ~ "Hope for the Crow Nation" VBS/Revival

Months before this trip, God implanted the desire in my heart to embark on a missions trip quite like the trips I had taken with Chi Alpha from the University of Montana. I prayed every night, for a solid week; but the enemy crept in, then, sorta forgot about it. March rolled around and the desire once again was stirred in me. Wednesday night before teaching Rainbows, my Sunday school, helper talked about a missions opportunity she was embarking on. I must have looked interested in it because the next thing I know she is asking ME if I wanted to go. Out of my mouth before I could think came a resounding, "YES!" Oh, but then I gave an excuse that I didn't have someone to help me with my evening and morning routine, not to mention a few extra's.  She said she would be willing to help wherever needed. (Prayer answered!)
  At church two days later, the missions opportunity was presented by a husband and wife from our congregation. An opportunity to minister on the Crow Native American reservation. The opportunity stirred something in me as I immediately began to recall a ministry opportunity on the reservation in Canada with Chi Alpha Christian Fellowship on the university of Montana-Missoula campus. (What tribe, I am drawing a blank). I remember sharing my testimony and my college pastor's conversation with me afterward; how much their youth pastor was touched by my testimony and how he felt it was good for the youth to hear.
     This current missions trip was to the Crow agency, a Native American tribe in Hardin, Montana. The trip consisted of putting on a Vacation Bible School for the Crow children, preschool to sixth grade. Four days of singing, dancing, crafts, drama's, Bible stories, and prizes! Our last day would be filled with sight-seeing in the town of Hardin.
     Commence nine loooong months of waiting, praying, planning and fundraising (Indian taco's, YUM!).
           Are we there yet?!

It's A Rollercoaster Ride of Life......and it's all so surreal

I am moving back to Montana after leaving for three years. It all seems so surreal. "Nobody pinch me, I don't want to wake up!" (It's been a deram of mine for as long as I can rememeber to live in horse country, with other animals)

I haven't been able to secure employment. Gastro-intestinal migraines get in the way, excuses about my having a servicedog also leave me discouraged. Qualifications too! Believing He has anything for me is difficult, I sit here ......wondering.

Nothing about being back in So. Cal. makes any sense. I can't even find work here, all for the same reasons. My best friend and I aren't even as close as we used to be. Fifteen years has taken it's toll.

Then one day my dad decides that he wants to move back to Montana. THAT didn't even make any sense to me (as excited as I was about the prospect). "We'll probably be back in two or three years", was my thinking. I just want to feel planted somewhere. I am getting to the point that moving is become very old. I am done! All my friends are scattered across the U.S. As I type this, dad is in Montana looking at property. He's found a few places that look promising.

This past Sunday mom and I were in adult Sundayschool. It was a guest speaker who came and gave a message, and sharing about his missionary endeavors (to where, I now forget). It was powerful! Both mom and I were feeling confirmation about this move to Montana. The fact that we were both feeling it made it all that more exciting, more real! "That's What Faith Can Do' by Kutless plays on the radio as I type this. Haha, and now, "My Hope Is In You", by Aaron Shust. I just looked at the sermon archives for our church, the past Sunday's sermon ~ 'Hearing the Voice of God'. I will have to listen later.

But back to Sundayschool....... ~
"Being Friends with God"

*Hebrews 11:8-11
John 15:13-16

Hebrews 11 `faith of Abraham'
John 15....greater love hath no man than this, that he lay downb his life for his friends.

Abrahams actions
He obeyed (vs. 8)
He enaabled (vs. 11)
He trusted (vs 17)

His thought process (Faith)
*He looked forward (vs. 10)
He considered God's faithfulness (vs. 11)
*He reasoned that God could (vs. 19)

Obedience based of faith
no leap in the dark
Romans 10:17
Abraham heard God's messsage
Genesis 12:1.7,8,
13:3
Ch.'s 14, 15, 17, 18, 19, 20
*** God's Communication: Faith = Relationship
Not DOING but BEING
James 2:23
God saves through His provision
*****Faith ~ Personal application of God's provision to my heart
Obedience ~ loving response
= TRUE RELATIONSHIP

JOHN 15
vs. 1-9 Branches (fruitfulness)
9-17 Fellowship
18-27 Faithful

branches - purpose
friends - priveledge

John 15:13-15
Jesus calls us to be His friend
I am not His 'slave' but His 'friend'.
Angels - servants
WE are his friends

***Genesis 18:17
confidence regarding God's plan
servant - what
friend - why

Psalm 25:14
relationship

Psalm 103:7
servants, yes
friends, yes

John 13, 14
comforter, Holy Spirit

Luke 11:5-8
Prayer = fellowship with God
??? Am I available to Him when He calls ???

Friend = priveledge

Ephesians 3:17-19
God is at home in your hearts as you trust Him
His power working in us





"Saddle up Your Horses....We've got a trail to blaze......" ~SCC (email from friend Patti Allen.

Indian Hills Camp

On my way to church one difficult morning, I prayed that the Lord might do something to perk me up. I only half-expected to hear an answer, let's just say I wasn't optimistic at all. Our class time was good, though after a rough week, I really wasn't all there mentally nor emotionally.
At the end of our class time together (whew! I couldn't wait to be done), our director hands out a flyer, and explains the information presented on it. Indian Hills Camp is holding its first ever camp for children with special needs. Ooooo, okay, interest peaked! Oh, but woudl mom and dad go for it? After all, it was a weekend overnighter. I needed help with morning and evening routines. We talked about it in the car, and she seemd pretty optimistic =D. ALRIGHT!!!!
A weekend-long event at Indian Hills camp with at least four other churches, each having children with special needs (autism, downs syndrome, developmental challenges, learning disabilties, Williams Syndrome, PDD, Fragile X, Asperger Syndrome).

Teaching them to embrace life with Jesus
Helping them recognize the value of their uniqueness,
Telling them that they are Christ's special creation.

Games, petting zoo, swimming, singing, zipline, biblestories, campfire. Ohmygoodness, is it August yet?!

Accessibility might be an issue in some areas, but who knows. Ive been known to get my chair in some crazy places, LOL!

I have been praying about this opportunity since I first heard. It's only a weekend, but could something further become of this? It's in God's hands at this point.

I Yelled at God Last Night

(please excuse the tardiness of this post as it's been a few days in the making)

WEEEEEEEEE!!! His Love IS Amazing!

I had expected to take meds for weeks before seeing results, and within days felt phenomenal. Almost three weeks went by and no pain, nausea, nothing! =D I took a bold step of faith (I thought so anyway) and shared with a friend who was writing a song along those same lines. The day after I wrote that however, ...........miserable! Headache, nausea, vomiting... For three hours could not keep a thing down, even the meds that were supposed to stop it. I was angry, “THIS ISN’T FAIR! Why get my hopes up,…..again!?” I want to work, I want to afford to DO things, I don’t want to be stuck at HOME!” Yes, I was yelling, screaming, and crying and even beating my pillow… yet, somehow, sensed He completely understood (why did I still feel so guilty?). I felt two strong hands- one on each of my shoulders- and a still, small voice quietly nudges it’s way in, telling me instead of wallowing in that one miserable day, I could choose to rejoice in those two weeks I had (“but I want MORE God!”). The next week was a rollercoaster, both physically as we try to regulate medication and emotionally because I am just so done with this nonsense!
Meanwhile…….children are my sanity (okay, them and my dog, I have to giver her credit)
Why can’t Sundays be every day? Truly? I cannot get enough of being with the ‘Elevate’ ministry at our church. I think I am the favorite. We have a game with yarn balls; set a time limit and see who can get the most on the other side of the room. The side with the least amount of yarn balls on their side wins. It often turns into who can pelt Tryna with the most! I LOVE IT!!! On one occasion, unbeknownst to me, I arrived home with three of them stashed behind my back. Maybe that’s why my back felt so good afterwards, Haha!
But last Sunday I was in no mood for children, I was in no mood for God (I scared even myself with that one!). I went to church because I knew it was the right thing to do, maybe it would get my mind off of all of this nonsense. Worship was agony. This is highly unusual coming from someone who’s favorite part of the church service is the worship portion, and who wishes she could spend the entire service just in worship alone. (A time or two in my church in Montana, that’s exactly what we did. Even in the college group I was involved in. Some nights were devoted strictly for worship. L<3ved it). My mind wasn’t even on the message that morning. I took notes as I always do, to help me to pay attention. That didn’t help. I was distracted. My mind was somewhere else altogether. Don’t ask me what the message was about because I couldn’t tell you.
And this week I didn't want to go.......home! HaHA!!!
This morning a little guy (about seven I think) I worked with started off grumpy. His g-tube was irritating him as always. On numerous occasions I had to get his hands away from it for fear of it being dislodged. I tried to get him involved in activities and he just pulled away grimacing, grunting, and moaning. It broke my heart. A silent prayer for the Lord's help and suddenly.......everything seemed to turn around.
A little encouragement from my supervisor to be hands on with him, helping him participate in worship. (eye contact, hand over hand with some sign), I quickly found out that he L <3 VES when you do this. His face lit up and he started to make sounds. He hugs me. He pets Alehe. Pushes my wheelchair. Smiles. (Oh those smiles are sooooooooooooo adorable!!!!) I seriously want to steal this child and take him home with me…..I know, I say that about all of them, Lol!
I sat near L at Bible-story time, scratching his back. For some children, depending on their disability, this is a calming mechanism. Haha! My poor hand was done!!! I stopped scratching. Pretty soon, I felt a small hand grasp mine ever so gently and pull it, placing it on his little back; his little eyes looking up at me, face beaming. I cracked up laughing. Apparently, HE wasn't quite done yet.
I had to leave a few minutes early from the class so that my family and I could go to lunch with some longtime family friends. I did not want to leave that classroom. I did not want our time together to end. All day I had been on cloud nine, just completely pumped up on adrenaline; and I was until well after midnight when I finally convinced myself to go to bed. I don’t remember my head hitting the pillow.
When I arrived home from church a contemporary Christian artist was on my mind, well, a particular album of his. “ Story of Your Life” by Matthew West. I jumped on my Itunes and listened to Matthew West’s song “I Love You More”. The Lord poured it’s words over me like a refreshing stream after a long trek through the rugged mountains. I’ve been playing it over and over for days now.

“And I want you to know that I’m not letting go, even when you come undone” ~ GOD

Headaches and Nausea : Surprising Turn of Events

Well glory hallelujah and praise the Lord, the two doctors actually talked! I never thought that it could happen, but it did. And I was the one to bring up to the neurosurgeon here in S.D. the possibility of my stomach causing the headaches. Ha!

I awoke with yet another headache, nausea, vomiting episode one morning, and frankly, had had ENOUGH already! After having an amazing time with the ‘Elevate’ children, I just wanted to bag that day and request a repeat of Sunday. A friend left a comment on my status about ‘seeking a new adventure’. Forty minutes later I received the phone call from my neurosurgeon here in San Diego saying he talked to the one in Montana (and we had to beg).

My first appointment since the two doctors talked, they called it 'gastrointestinal migraines'. In the past, stomach medication really didnt do anything for me and migraine medication did nothing or exasperated the problem, sometimes helpign for only a short period of time before quitting.

My biggest fear now; when is the medication going to stop working, since so many have in the past. Holding on to faith that it won't. Hard

"......for such is the kindgdom of Heaven".

Luca, ~ a little boy probably around four or five. He is deaf, but uses coclear implants to hear. I speak to him as any other child, but use a bit of sign laungauge with my speech to better communicate. "L" uses words here and there, some you an barely understand (or is it just me?) He is adorable, especially when he smiles.

During our table toys period, he became interested in the building blocks. He held them mostly, I tried to encourage him to stack them on top of eachother, which he did to some small degree.

Today during music time I sang to him, had my focus totally on him. When the songs talked about yourself I would point to him. At times I took his hands and made the motions, or signs for words. That seemed to put a smile on his face. On occassion he would take my hands to do the same, as if he wanted me to continue. Awesome!

I felt bad during gross motor time as he stood off to the side. I tried to get him to come near me to help him participate, but he stood by the door and just watched. I participated in gross motor along with the other children, helping out where I felt I was needed, as much as I could. (needed a nap afterward, whew!)

I sat with little "L" during the last portion of our time together, table activity. This usually consists of a table toy or coloring page. I tried to encourage him to color. Allowing him to choose a color, I would put it in his hand, and gently guide him in the activity. How much was actually him is debateable. We didnt' accomplish much there, but that wa okay. I read to him the verse at the botttom of the page anyway. At one point he took Alehe's leash in his hands, and made some vocalizations, trying to walk away. I often let children walk Alehe around the classroom. His face lit up when we walked together; leash in his hand, me walking beside, vocalizations louder and more exciteable.

I often wonder about these children, just how much of the lesson they are absorbing.....but I am learning to trust God that He is teaching them in His way. I am just His tool, He can use me as HE sees fit. Meanwhile, I am having a BLAST!!!!!
I want to do it all again, tomorrow!!! haha

Be Still (*sigh*)

"Be still and know that I am God"
~Psalm 46:10

ANOTHER appointment with my neuro-surgeon on Monday. Hmph! Not like it's going to reveal anything (please excuse my cynicism).

Headaches, nausea, vomiting. This is what I have dealt with since early teens. Surgery, medications, different pillows, c-pap, elevating the head of the bed. I've tried it. Sure, it works for a little while. Short term solutions.
Over the years I've been steadily losing hope the doctors will ever find a permanent solution.

Upon reading the above verse, a still small voice inside of me promted me to do a search on the phrase "be still"
Exodus 14:14
The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Mark 4:39
He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

Lord, calm this storm inside!

Psalm 83:1 (NKJV)
[ A Song. A Psalm of Asaph. ] Do not keep silent, O God!Do not hold Your peace, And do not be still, O God!
(All I seem to be getting from Him on this particular situation, silence. Lord, what is the lesson here?)



TODAY's DEVOTIONAL
"Be Still" I hear Him softly say
"Be still, lay all aside" (time out!)
He who made the universe stoops down
and gathers up my cares
(I am definately weary.....more like, DONE! Eleven years of college, it oud be nice to use it. To not depend so much on SSI.
"Be still" He chides again
His work begins within my weary soul
"Be patient. In quiet stay.
Listen to me" (Lord, I am listening!....or am I?)

Though pressed on every side
I clear my heart and mind
In timid voice and heart
I lift to Him my praise

How quiet His presence
How healing His words
In hushed awe, I listen
I savor each one

My will He bends (RA's Take My Will)
My heart He sweeps clean
My strength He renews My soul He fills to overflowing (PROMISE)

He teaches through His Word
I heed what He tells me
I stand and give Him praise
Together we go forth to serve

ELEVATE: a.k.a. "Why Can't Every Day Be Sunday?"

Wow God. Just,.........wow. These were the only words I could think of after my morning with the children at Shadow Mountain Cummunity Church.

I awoke feeling good this morning. (Considering the past three weeks, it's about bloody time! haha)
The past two Sundays I have been missing little 'C'. A little blonde cutie who's name is similiar to mine, and whom I believe latched onto me because of it. I half expect her to walk in the door still; asking me if she could sit next to me and/or hold Alehe's leash, which is something I often let her and a select few other children do.
Little 'N' wasn't in Sundayschool today. He is another 'melt-yer-heart' kind of child. He likes to climb in my lap and sit, sometimes facing me, sometimes engaged a bit in the Bible story. He'll often take my face in his hands, very gently, for a few seconds. Priceless seconds if you ask me. Sometimes he will hug me. He seems to enjoy pushing my wheelchair, although he will often run off and go do something else, leaving me high and dry, lol! Stinker. He does interact with Alehe to some degree, petting her. I try to initiate the interaction getting him started, gently taking his hand and stroking Alehe's fur wth it. But it doesn't last very long.

Worship with little 'L'
When it comes to a child with a significant disability, I often wonder how much I am connecting with them. I long to break into their world and get them to understand how much they are valued as the precious child they are (at least by me) and important to the world, especially in God's eyes.
I stood next to L during our worship time today. Singing and signing, and trying to engage him in the worship. At one point I was taking his hands and signing with them. He really seemed to enjoy this. His face lit up and he smiled, watching me the whole time.

'L' and Alehe
He took the leash in his little hands, and so I let him hold it. We walked side by side around the perimeter of the classroom. He was pretty happy. I believe at one point of the morning he tried to say a word. But sadly none of us really caught what he said (it's pretty quiet). He did seem more vocal today than usual. No coherant words other than that one time, but a lot of vocal 'sounds'. He smiled at times. Especially around Alehe.
I tend to measure life by the big moments, often times letting the little ones pass me by without much notice. Today didnt seem like much at first, btu after this one child...... I now cannot wait until next week!
Here's a child who does not communicate verbally (he has coclear implants in both ears and a seizure disorder. CE-EWT as a button, especially when he smiles.) I often wonder what goes on in the minds of some of these children as they sit listening to the Biblestory. How much of this are they really getting? (I am learning to trust that God is working in their hearts and minds)

A few of our children are seen with toys in their hands as one of the teachers shares a story from the Bible. This is not unusual, nor are they being defiant. Some of these children keep their hands busy to keep their focus on the teacher who is sharing a story from the Bible. You don't really know how much they are getting, you just trust God that He is moving in their hearts and minds.

Why can't every day be Sunday?

=D



"Take my will and make it your own. I'm on my knees letting go. Seeking more of You and finding less of me, now I'm free! So take my will, let Your kingdom come. Let Your will be done." ~ Take My Will' by Richard Andrew

Emptiness of Easter

The Emptiness of Easter
John 20:1-31

I. The expectation of emptiness - John 19:31-36; Mark 16:1
Emptiness in their hearts (He was going to redeem Israel)
The two Mary’s came to anoint Jesus’ body for burial
Emptiness of hopelessness and despair
(Lord, empty ME of hopelessness and despair!)

II. The encounter with emptiness - John 20:1-10
A. The place where the stone had been was empty - John 20:1;
Matthew 27:59-60; Mark 16:3
B. The place where the soldiers had been was empty
Matthew 27:62-66; 28:4
C. The place where Jesus had been was empty - Matthew 28:5-6;
Mark 16:6; Luke 24:3, 6; John 20:2
“He is not here, He is risen”
The tomb was empty
City of Jerusalem, where Christianity started
D. The grave clothes in which Jesus had been wrapped were empty
John 20:3-8
John - the other disciple; the disciple that Jesus loved
Evidence in the tomb was so convincing, it caused the apostle John to believe
The stone was rolled away so that people could see that Jesus was no longer in the tomb

III. The experience of emptiness - John 20: 11-15
Mary Magdalene, weeping
Supposed Him to be the gardener
Crushed her hope,
HE had changed her life. Freeing her from torment
Worth, dignity compassion, love, HOPE
Jesus had given her love
Her love brought her to the tomb and to the cross
She didn’t understand the resurrection was part of the story
Just when she thinks her life couldn’t get worse……..
Empty Hands, empty tomb, empty life

He created us with a God-shaped space in our lives, to be filled with the Presence of Christ in our lives
Power, money, alcohol, drugs. Things we try to stuff in that empty hole.
HE fills it full of meaning and joy
Mary, the epitome of emptiness

*****IV. The end of emptiness - *John 20:16
Rabboni -Master, teacher,
Jesus saying her name (how would I feel if I heard Jesus say MY name? How would I respond?)
A. Because he is risen my failures are not fatal - Romans 4:25;
1 Corinthians 15:14, 17-18, 20
HE took with Him the sin (failures, mistakes) of the whole world
Death was the payment, His resurrection was the receipt
B. Because he is risen my life is not futile - Ephesians 1:18-20
C. Because he is risen my death is not final - John 11:25-26

Bringing it Home
1. Dr. Jeremiah said, “Hope for a better tomorrow is what sees us through a thousand ‘every days.’” When have you used hope (for a better tomorrow) to get you through the challenges of the current day? How does hope keep us going in the face of frustration, challenge and despair?

2. Connecting (or reconnecting) with the hope we have in Christ’s resurrection, allows us to hope in ways we never have before. Where do you need hope in your life right now? In what ways do you feel empty? How can you let Christ fill your emptiness with hope?

Experiencing Gods Best ~ Part 2

IN QUIET TIME

3. The author of Hebrews is writing about God’s blessing when he refers to
“entering His rest.” What do you think it means to rest everything in God? Do
you think you’ve ever done that? What makes it hard to rest in God’s blessing
these days?

Submit everything to God in prayer, Continuously. Even when it seems tough
I feel I could always do better. Outside distractions (health, finances, emotions, circumstances) make it hard to ‘rest’ in God period.

5. Look at some of the Bible verses below and talk about how we sometimes
substitute God’s best for “wilderness experiences.”
Jeremiah 2:13 ~ not relying on the ‘spring of living water’ but on our own limited resources

Jeremiah 10:1-7 ~ No one is like You O Lord, you are great, and Your Name is mighty in power
(Again, we tend to run to the quickest fix, were not patient enough for Gods best)

, 10-13 ~ He is the living God, true God

Matthew 6:19-24 ~ For where your treasure is, there your heart is also. No one can serve both God and money
What will bring us true, lasting happiness? Is it really earthly pleasures?

2 Timothy 3:1-4 ~ But realize this, that ain the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,

6. Pastor Jeremiah said that, “… the answer to fear and failure is faith.” Read the
following verses and talk about how faith can be the best life choice.

Hebrews 11:6~ without faith it is impossible to please God, so that anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists, and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him

1 Thessalonians 2:13-14 ~ And we also thank God continually because, when you received the word of God, which you heard from us, you accepted it not as a human word, but as it actually is, the word of God, which is indeed at work in you who believe. For you, brothers and sisters, became imitators of God’s churches in Judea, which are in Christ Jesus: You suffered from your own people the same things those churches suffered from the Jews


Philippians 3:7-11
But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in[a] Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

Experiencing Gods Best for Our Lives

Experiencing Gods Best For Our Lives
April 3, 2011
Dr. David Jeremiah
Hebrews 4:1 – 13

Blood on the Lintel and doorposts (picture of the cross)
Application of ch. 4 ~ Those who found Christ (followers) and are now leaving Egypt and onto Gods best for them. From Egypt to that place is through the wilderness
This world is not our home; we are pilgrims and strangers in this land.
God wants us to experience His best today and when we get to Heaven
Enter into His blessing

I. The experiences on the road to the Promised Land - Hebrews 4:1-3

A. The experience of fear - Hebrews 4:1; II Timothy 1:7; Romans 8:15;
Psalm 111:10; Deuteronomy 12:9*
365 Fear Not’s in the Bible
We are told to fear – Godly fear required of Gods people,
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (awe) Psalm 111:10
Believe, and experience Gods best for our lives
(I want to experience Gods best for my life)
Am I missing something? Am I missing Gods best for my life?
God wants us to discover His plan for our lives

REST
Gods Rest is Gods BEST for you and for me (Gods plan for our lives)
God wants us to discover His plan for our lives
In sync with Him
Stress, anxiety, human fear gone
Ch 4 - Enter ~ mentioned five times
(God, what are you up to?)
Call to action
Enter into Gods best for our lives
Failure to enter into all God has for them is regrettable, but not serious (some believe)
But not trusting God is something to fear
Losing heart in our Christian Experience
Going on toward God with His plan in our lives
Don’t be satisfied that you’re just a Christian
Quest for Gods best

B. The experience of failure - Hebrews 4:2; Numbers 14:7-8
Gospel – Good News
(normally death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ)
two witnesses went into Canaan to spy it out for Gods people, so they could enter into Gods best for them
Gospel mixed with FAITH, its not enough just to read it
Enter into the blessings God has for us His children
Faith – Trust without reservation, not belief without proof

C. The experience of faith(trust) - Hebrews 4:3
Believe God, trust Him, and accept He has a plan for your life
Some of us do a lot better with eternity than we do tomorrow
If God is worthy of your trust for eternity, He is worthy of your trust for tomorrow
Ask Him to help you get to His best for your life

II. The examples of the “rest” of the Promised Land - Hebrews 4:4-11

A. The example of creation rest - Hebrews 4:4-5
Seventh day -Sabbath (5pm Saturday)
Jewish people turned it into a burden
God wanted US to have a rest
The blessing of rest (His rest, His best)
Instructions for entering into rest

B. The example of Canaan rest - Hebrews 4:6-7
God wanted his people to have when they went to the edge of the Promised Land
Why should they have believed that
God promised it to them!
Tjeyy walked to the edge, and stopped believing the promises
Belief / Obedience

C. The example of Calvary rest - Hebrews 4:8-13; John 19:30;
Matthew 11:28-30
God wanted Israel to enjoy His very best He had set up for them. They missed it because they didn’t believe
Caleb took his mountain for God
David
Solomon
The rest still remains for us
Don’t be satisfied with just getting out of Egypt
III. The examination of the residents of the Promised Land - Hebrews 4:12-13
How do I know if I am going in the right direction, genuinely, with right motives?

A. Examined by the Word of God - Hebrews 4:12
Vs. 12
Read the Bible
Discern,
the word of God will be a critic of your life
GPS system for my life, the Word of God

B. Examined by the God of the Word - Hebrews 4:13

God sees our lives
Vs. 13 We have the God of the Word to help us to understand where we are
You can’t fool God
Nothing is hidden from Him
Journey from salvation to Gods best for my life
I have to enter into Gods best for my life
Saved in order that we might serve
Eph. 2:10
We are saved FOR good works
(Lord, what are the good works you have for me to do)
Find out how I can get to Gods best for my life

Reflect on what God has saved me from

So thankful to be alive, show me how I can help (serve You)

Discover what God wants

Fearfully enter into Gods plan for my life

His rest is His best
“Lord, whatever you want, whatever you have for me”

Hebrews ~ Going on with God
God has so much more for us than we could ever dream
(I have had feelings of “this is it, there’s nothing more”)

( In Prayer: He has so much more for us to know than we take time to learn)

Matthew West 'Story of Your Life' Tour w/ Special Guests Josh Wilson and Richard Andrew

"Is this the end, or only the beginning"........ MW, Story of Your Life

The Rivers Edge church, Rancho Cucamonga, CA

I was listening to 89.7 KSGN online one afternoon when I heard Matthew West was doing his 'Story of Your Life' tour (his first stop on the tour!) and making his one and only Southern California stop in Rancho Cucamonga.- Christian recording artist Richard Andrew ,who is worship leader at that church and whom I got to know two years ago, was opening. I thought of how cool it would be to be there but because of the drive and the time it was supposed to start and end, didn't think it was going to be possible. But I prayed anyway.......and God answered!
I purchased tickets online two or three weeks in advance. For weeks I was practically bouncing off the walls (my roommate can attest to that), so excited to get to worship with Richard for the third time. And it would be my second time seeing Matthew West in concert (first time seeing Josh Wilson). When purchasing the tickets, I made a mistake in typing my address and immediately sent an e-mail to the ticket agency. So when I thought they should have been here, they weren't. I panicked, but I did have a receipt I printed on my computer (right b4 my printer died, ha!). That same day I received a phonecall from an itickets.com representative saying my ticket bounced back to them and they would have it for me at willcall. (WHEW!)

What a night He (God) had planned for me!

The two hour drive was excruciating, I don't know how I survived. I could not wait (my dad was jokingly poking fun of my excitement the whole time, the turd! He's lucky I wasnt siting close enough to smack him ;). I feared the seating arrangements. Would their wheelchair seating be waaaaay in the back? If I sat front row, would I be able to understand what was being sung? Most concerts the intruments are wicked loud, and their wheelchair seating (or is it my vision? ha) makes the artists look an inch tall and three miles away. I was saved a seat in the front =) where RE staff led me right to the spot when I got there. I inquired of earplugs, and someone went and got me a pair! Crazy thing was I hardly had to use them. But by the last three songs, even with them in it was hard to hear/understand the words. My ears were STILL ringing! But it was SOOO totally worth it!!!!!!!
I thought I was going to get to sit with RA and his wife Shawn (now worries you two!), and was sad I never did see another RA fan that friended me on FB. Didnt know the people I was sitting around. Somehow, that didn't matter to me. I became lost in the music and stories of the evening.
Richard Andrew opened the evening with three of his songs (too short if you ask me, Haha!).
Take My Will ~ "Take my will, make it Your own. I'm on my knees letting go. Seeking more of You, finding less of me and now I'm free. Take my will, let Your kingdom come, let Your will be done".
Wave A Hand ~ I waved both hands in the air, and got so into it I just about 'wave'd myself right out of my powerchair! I hope nobody noticed (:sheepish grin:)
None Compare ~ My all time fave since the very first time I hear it! I was trying to close my eyes in worship, but at the same time didn't want to take my eyes off of the stage.

Josh Wilson was second to perform. I had heard one or more of his songs before, but tonight his music was better than I remember. Ha, thre's somethignh to be said about hearign live performances of your favorite songs. Wow. Unlike Richard Andrew and Matthew West, it was just Josh Wilson with a band loop pedal.

Shine On Us
Before The Morning
Savior Please
Always Only You
I Refuse
Amazing Grace (Instrumental, with the band loop pedal, which was AWESOME!)

In his introduction, Matthew West mentioned that this was his first stop on the "Stories" tour, as well as the ONLY So. Cal. stop. COOL! That just made it even more memorable. During his portion of the concert (he just happened to be the last one to play), between songs he played portions of his DVD. (I have watched it two or three times since that night).

Nearly every one of his songs had something that spoke to me

Strong Enough ~

"You must think I'm strong, to give me what I'm going through"

~
The Lord doesnt put anything on us that He doesnt think we can handle. (I often wish the Lord wouldnt think ME so strong, haha.)
~ Phil 4:13 (=D) Just happens to be my favorite verse of all time!
My move out of Montana, health issues, job woes.....all caused me to lose sight of the 'Bigger Picture'.
( Negative "What if"'s....... "Lord, give me a new perspective"
Am I going to decide my life is going to stink from here on out? THIS comment in his video totally and completely hit home for me. This thought is what I've been struggling with since leaving Montana)

Family Tree ~ I have Christs legacy

To Me ~(pain of school)
I was made fun of a lot in school, because of the way I looked, how I walked (or didn't walk). I missed a lot of school growing up even into college because of surgery, doctor appointments, and now these headaches and nausea.

"There are two kinds of people in this world; dream crushers 'Your not able to do it' and dream makers ~ 'Well, you know what? I'm going to do it anyway!'.
I was told I would never live past the age of two. I am now in my my mid-thirties. I was told I would never walk. I did...., but not until I was almost two. I was told I was not cut out for college. I graduated after eleven years earning BOTH an Associate's AND a Bachelors degree. I wheeled on stage to accept my diploma, and as I wheeled off I lifted my eyes and hands to Heaven praising God, knowing it was by His amazing grace that afforded me such an accomplishment.

I lost my digital camera right before the concert , Oh not good!! Mom and dad said they would let me borrow theirs. Last minute I just happened to be looking for something in my purse and lo and behold, THERE it was at the bottom!!! Cool! I was able to take lots of pictures. (Sadly, only a few really turend out. My best picture......one taken with Matthew West.

One Less ~ made me think about my dream for adoption

Your A Survivor ~ Rocked out to this one, about fell outta the chair! (Ohoh oh's)
Told not to try anymore ("Not cut out for college")
Rom 8:37 ~ ...in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.

Innocence ~ "Love (God) sees perfection"
"Grace can take a broken girl and put her back together"
****God is not done with you yet

The Reason

"Maybe the reason for the pain is so that we would pray for strength. Maybe the reason for the strength is so that we would not lose hope, and maybe the reason for the hope is so that we could face the world and the reason for the world is to make us long for ho-o-o-ome."

The Healing Has Begun
Mercy remebers your name
The tears you hold back, let them fall like rain

The Motions~ (I made this my prayer the first time I heard this song, even more so that night)

"I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything?
Instead of going through the motions

"

In the video, Mattthew West holds up a whiteboard (he had surgery on his throat) ----"the value of this season will no doubt be priceless
God has something to say. To us and through us"

TAKE ME ALL THE WAAAAAAYYY!!!!! (from his song 'The Motions')

Since the concert was late in the evening, and it would be a two hour drive home, we opted to stay in a hotel and drive back in the morning (Mom and dad had a date night while I went to the concert). The concert ended and I was exhausted. But did I WANT to leave?! HA! No. I lingered for as long as I could. ANd I had to hang with Richard once more :D
FINALLY!!! I have an 'RA' t-shirt! Do I get one exactly like my mother's (great story behind how I received that one, I'll never forger 'Tuna and Rice'.)? Or do I check out his different styles? Oh too many choices, I could go for one of each! But sadly, the womens styles didnt fit :'( Too small (crazy to say for this small frame I know!) One shirt stuck out to me. 'Breath = Praise' The Lord seemed to speak as I read those words ~ "As long as I have breath, I have reason to praise Him." Even in light of whatever excruciating circumstances I find myself in.
I showed RA the t-shirt I bought (breath = praise) and he explained it was taken from Psalm 150 verse 6, "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord". The "ra" in 'praise' sports his initials with a circle around it.
Did I sleep once I got to the hotel? Heck no! I was too wound up, and had the evenings songs running through my head most of the night.
The devil had me convinced life was over once I left Montana. God seemed to show me tonight He still wasn't done with me yet.

"This is the joy, this is the pain, and all the pages in between. Your finest hour, your weakest moment is where you've been, where you are, is where you're going".

~ MW, Story of Your Life

ELEVATE~ Helping All God's Children Reach for the Son (AKA- Eeghad am I Ever Tired!)

I am soooooo wiped out right now, but even more....I am soooooo lovin' it, Haha!

"ELEVATE~ Helping All Gods Children Reach for the Son"

C ~ This little girl was doing something that made me laugh (wish I could remember what it was now). She kept getting in my face (playfully) and telling me not to laugh, which only made me laugh even more. Then she would tell some of other adults that I was laughing. This little girl is in love with the fact that our names are so similiar. Becasue of it, we have bonded very well.

N ~ Wow, does he EVER have energy! Can I have some of it pleeease? This little guy he's somewhere between 3 and five, (looks like he's barely three) not only did he wear me out, but he melted my heart today. He asked me "Where's your dog?", in a a sweet little voice (Alehe has an eye infection, I've had to put ointment in her eyes twice a day). During part of our sundayschool time he spent in one of our other rooms (he doesnt sit still very well, biblestory time is difficult for him). He had a great time drawing (scribbling) on the whiteboard or bouncing/rolling a giant-sized ball you normally use for yoga. He's definately a mover and a shaker.

I am SO going to bed early tonight! I cannot wait for next week to see what God has in store.

It's Tough Being a Woman.....week 8

Often, when we thrill to the realization of a call from God, we picture going from our faces to our feet as He increasingly elevates our position. The reverse however, is often truer in the earthly realm.

(Esther 8:3)

Esther had come to royal position for such a time as this

To accomplish our call, we must be humbled far more than exalted, though God certainly lifts up His faithful servant in due time

somewhere deep inside our selfish selves we really don't believe that life is all about us

...whose passion for God only swells with time, hitting it's highest pitch with the last breath
I want this passion!

1Sam 8:20 - begging God for a human "king" who would lead me and go out before me and fight my battles. I didn't see my request as a replacement for God. I spiritualized my quest for an earthly hero by agreeing to see him as a gift from God.

He (God) not only see the desires of our hearts, but He also looks straight into the heart of our desires and knows when we are asking - even accidentally - for a false Christ

God is jealous for our true enduring hero to be His own Son. He answers my prayers to love Jesus above all else by allowing someone to disappoint me and prove insufficient for me

Sometimes God wants to show us what we can do rather than let us find someone who can do it for us

sometimes you and I are looking for someone to stand up and do what God wants us to do

...wanted someone to step in and break the chain of bondage....instead God started that process by breaking me

****...one reason God dissuades us from making champions of human kind is to keep us from falling in love with the night and paying no worship to the glorious Son.****

Sometimes God calls us to wait

Every morning God already knows each joy and concern that our day holds

God's timing is perfect

we must learn to fight an invisible enemy (Eph. 6:10-17) Sometimes we're exactly where we are meant to be - right in the middle of our spiritual Canaan - yet God tests us there to teach us a new level of warfare

One of the hardest parts of being a mother or a mentor is watching our children face a battle we can't fight for them. If God is going to raise our children to be mighty warriors of the faith, He must be free to teach them to fight. ....how can the person experience the exhilaration of victory in a battle they never had to fight. (mom)

Some of us with little previous battle experience have no idea why God is allowing us to go through such difficult times in a place we thought was His will.

God's trying to make warriors out of us

we are guaranteed the victory

God's providence is the theme of Esther, the absence of His obvious activity invites us to imagine the divine activities behind the scene. If we could only see what is happening around us in the unseen realm, our eyes would nearly pop out of socket.
(my water-baptism)

God wasn't forced to think up something new when the book of Malachi rolled to a close and the Gospel o Matthew pounded on His door. God's plan for Israel hadn't fallen through the cracks between Testaments.
(God's plan for me wasn't thwarted when I was moved from Montana back to California)

He will mount the fastest horse in the King's stables and burst through the barriers of human sight and sound with the armies of heaven "following Him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen white and clean (Rev. 19:1) "On His robe and on His thigh He will have written the name King of Kings and Lord of Lords (Rev. 19:16)

Every single time we pray the familiar words "Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven", we are praying for Christ to return in all His majesty.

We never have to leave the King's presence

And remember, "I am with you always, to the end of the age". (Matt. 28:18-20

When a time of happiness comes, I think we outght to take it and run

We often speak of happiness as a less noble term than joyfulness because the former is circumstantial and the latter less conditional.....but when God intervenes in our circumstances and we get a chance not only to know we're blessed but feel blessed, nothing is more appropriate than seizing the happy moment.
(thinking of my experience with RA and his music, "Lord, am I making too much of this?" His response "No, take it and run babe!"

...it is meant by God to be medicine for our weary souls. Times of happiness are glimpses of Heaven until we get there

God tookHis children's mourning, fasting, weeping, and wailing adn turned it into a time of happiness, joy, gladness and honor

Yahweh, the faithful covenant GOd, reversed every negative of His threatened people and turned it intop a postivice

God's people didn't suddenly aquire perfect conditions, they still lived on planet Earth and had fierce battles to fight.

God can reverse every negative element in His child's life and turn it into a positive. He just doesn't diffuse the circumstance, HE transfuses it.

Your God cares about you! He wants to show you what He can do with your life and your negative conditions.

He alone is the author of reversals

...ask the one who has begun a good work in you to complete it

Headaches

Why post about this? I don't know exactly. Writing tends to help me sort through thoughts in my head; whether they be thoughts I wanna remember, such as a great experience I just had, or sorting through emotions of a difficult situation. I guess this is the latter.

God, WHY?

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!

I have struggled with headaches/nausea/vomiting for, oh it's gotta be at least off and on twenty years now. It started around the time of Jr. High, give or take a few years. I believe it was just the vomiting at first, and so we saw doctors about my stomach. We then tried countless medications, some working for only a short time before doing nothing, others doing absolutely nothing, still others making me ten times worse. Yikes! The problem just kept getting worse. I believe at one point a doc said something about too much stomach acid. After a swallow test another doc noticed a vein in my neck near my esophagus making swallowing difficult.

I've gone through so many doctors giving one diagnosis after another. One that had me laughing....false pregnancy. ME: "HAHAHAHAHAA! Yeah Right! For NINE YEARS?!"
One doctor suggested it was stress (duh, hello? Did I not mention school (Jr. High, HS, College....disability on top of that?) I went in for a sleep study because it sounded like sleep apnea to one doctor. They first tried a medication that was supposed to put more oxygen through the bloodstream. That one left me with a severe tingly feeling in the left hand, face and lips. Scratch that! (that was rather spooky) I was pulled off of that medication. Enter the evil CPAP machine. Now I know what an elephant feels like! You ever tried one of those awful things? A small mask over the nose that forces air into your sinuses, and if you happen to open your mouth you feel like you are gasping for air! Well, I couldn't keep it on my face for the life of me. Seems after a few weeks, months....I would take it off in the middle of the night and I would not even remember doing it. (Yes, I sleep that hard, just TRY and wake me up! If you suceed.....DUCK and RUN for COVER! lol!!! Just kidding, but it is still not pretty. Just ask my mother)

I have had numerous surgeries to try and aleviate the problem headaches;
Hydrocephalus (water on the brain) and shunt placements, removals, revisions, a repair of a chiari malformation (portion of skull pressing on the brain), clearing of impacted sinuses (impacted with fluid to the point of near rupture), removal of a dermoid tumor (mass of hair, skin and fat from previous surgeries).

The headaches always came back...and with a vengeance!

Muscle relaxers - worked for a short time, as did everything else. I switched medications a few times, finally finding Amitriptylene, a God-send. Or so I thought up until a few weeks ago. Now I am not so sure. Maybe it is working some still, but definately NOT enough! Because of another medication I was taking for a short time, I was cut back to half a tablet becasue the two meds were in the same family and could react. I was nervous about cutting back. But a whole tablet was making me too drowsy, to a point I did not want to wake up in the morning and was tired alllll day.

I was recently switched from Tylenol, which was said to be horrible for my liver, to Ibuprofen. I was taking three Tylenol at a time, sometimes three times a day as two were doing nothing for me (Extra-strength for crying out loud). But doc switched me to Ibuprofen, and that was a bit weird. The first time I took two... I felt good, almost TOO good, lol! It sort of made me nervous. I thought it might have been too much (I just seemed TOO happy, LOL!). Now even two Ibuprofen are not cutting it, and the last time I took them three doses in one day did not help.

One of my doctors in Montana (who is a believer in Christ) said something to me that was a bit settling "it could be a combination of things causing them, therefore it could be a combination of things we try that get rid of them". Still, we have yet to find that combination!

Memory-foam pillow - not the fix I was hoping/praying for but I never sleep without it now!

Some time ago we bought me a bed that allows me to elevate the head and the legs.. Although still not the solution, it seemed to help a little. Though today no matter how high I get my head it makes no difference.

One doctor who operated on me for this problem joked he was going to buy a one-way ticket out of town if he couldnt figure out what was going on with me (he never did either one to my knowledge...but he has since retired).

It's crazy, but the pain is primarily on the right side, though its been known to fluctuate; from temple down back side of head and neck, occasionally entire back side of head, rarely is it both sides of head, but it has happened. Like somebeody kicked me in the head or stabbed me with a knife.

Could it be something up with my stomach that is causing headaches?
Eating? What I eat, when I eat? Time in between dinner and breakfast too far apart? I asked the doctor about my stomach causing headaches and all he said was that it could be possible, nothing more. Hmph!

I have had countless CT scans and MRI's done. Why, the most recent MRI came back negative and I was emotional on the way home. I was frustrated! I just want to be DONE with them! My favoreite phrase "I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!" About this time I remembered RA's song "None Compare' and the line "Can You see me in the valley?" Okay, the first time I heard this song it was right before my move back to California, and it fit a little better.

Is this the thorn in the flesh Paul was talking about? I wonder.
Why do I feel He is being so silent to my pleas for relief?!
I want to work. But who is going to hire someone who cannot get up beore 8am and is feeling miserable every morning? So I search for afternoon programs working with children, or volunteer in classrooms only a few days a week, setting my own time schedule.

Lord, I am done!