It's Tough Being a Woman.....week 7

James 4:8
God loves her, and what an awesome plan He has for oher life and how He still reveals it through the Bible.

the king had liittle interest in anything that wasn't centered on him. His self-centeredness was his weak spot...

Esther approached the negotiating table with little or no experience, yet she accomplishes the seemingly impossible ....the side-stepping of an irreversible law. The providence of a sovereign God was the overarching reason for her success.

The Holy Spirits power was surely at work in Persia that night Esther just didn't realize it.1 Peter 5:8 warns out enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion lookiing for someone to devour.

....the effectiveness of our enemy to deceive people into thinking that Christianity is bondage, but his path, disguised as human independence, is freedom.

Satan our adversary promises freedom but after gaining trust delivers such destructive entangplements that his victim feels life bieng squeezed otu of him. God on the other hand delivers us to a spacious place where He rescues us because He delights in us

No one comes into teh full throttle poer of their destiny all at once.

Sometiems we take for granted what we have until we see that someone else admires it

End of Esther 7 Jews go from the depths of despair to the death of despair

....prayed for God to fill me and thrill me

The book of Esther....where evil threatens to win and reversals whirl and spin, where orphans become queens and villians trick kings.

...great lives don't always seem great while we're living them. They may seem embarrassingly regular. Seeking to be extraordinary isn't the answer because great lives are never acheived by making greatness the goal.

Haman, a man poisoned by his own pursuit of greatness, driven by selfish ambition, his life ended tragically.

God given personality is goign to propel her

Every gift is a trust placed in human hands by a holy God

Spending ourselves for something infinately greater still fans our parched souls with the God-given need to matter, but releives us of the relentless pain of being teh "It" person at the center of it

embrace teh glory of God as our purpose

least act renders the ordinary, extraordinary

acts of high worhip when offered in teh name of Christ. He beholds the sight likea breathtaking work of art, tilting His head to study each subtle detail. (Mark 14:6)

Christ summons the disillusioned to the paradoxical bliss of spilling life lavishly, sacrificially for the glory of God and the good of man.

To live for the greatness of God is to live the great life

KSGN's Making A Difference Tour

KSGN - Making a Difference Tour
Richard Andrew, Jadon Lavik, Raymond Gregory
Harvest Christian Fellowship --- Riverside, California

I was hoping to attend in person and was going to, even invited to sit front row until mom and dad had to go out of town on business. Drats. I was gonna get a t-shirt from Richard and have both my mom and I wear them together that night. I invited people to go too, and prayed about certain people going. But watched it online instead, and believe I had almost as much fun.

Raymond Gregory
Although his first song I wasn't crazy about his style or his voice, he even seemed a bit uncomfortable at first, by the second or third song I was really enjoying his music and he seemed to loosen up quite a bit. What a great sense of humor too, even in his music!
"As long as Your on my side, I'll be wealthy" ~ A song lyric of his that really jumped out at me tonight. And when I first heard 'Happily Married' on the radio, I will confess it wasn't a song I particularly cared for, only because I am not (yet, I hope? Hint hint Lord???) But for some reason, tonight it had a different feel, and I responded differently to it. I dunno, can't explain really.

Richard Andrew
Now *here's* the reason I watched tonight, and frankly I couldn't wait! Oh yeah, I coulda watched him aaaaallll night! I made a comment on the tour site about three o'clock this afternoon, going crazy because it was still four hours away! HaHA!
I had to laugh at myself really, I saw Richard up on stage getting ready to sing right after someone got up and said a few words, and I became r-e-a-l-l-y excited "There he is, there he is!" I'm such a nut!
"Knocking On Heaven's Door". God's telling me regarding my future and the plans that He has for me, "keep on asking, Keep on seeking, KEEP on knocking, whatever you do , don't give up!".
As he is singing an acoustic version "None Compare", my all-time FAVORITE song of his, he shares with the audience (I'm sure those online as well as in person) that God was speaking to someone. "He can see you in the valley, He can hear you call His name" Don't know if that was meant just for me, hope someone else got it too, but it still made me smile.
His drummer sure looked like he was having a blast! That was awesome to see! I know I was. I was trying to recline in my power chair while watching but it didn't work. I was sitting up in my chair having a grand ol' time, dancing and waving to his song 'Wave a Hand'. "I'm no longer the man I used to be. Thank God almighty I'm free at last I'm free......!"
I did not want his set to end!!! I secretly hoped he would even sing a new song, but was thankful for what he did sing tonight.I even sang along, I believe to all of them!

Greg Laurie, pastor of Harvest Christian Fellowship got up and gave a brief word just before Jadon Lavik was up to sing. Pastor Laurie spoke about the woman at the well. I have heard so many pastors preach on this. The one line I really remember and that spoke to me was "Jesus didn't point a finger at her failings."

Jadon Lavik
I am a new fan of Jadon Lavik. His music was crazy good! A little country, a little rock...... My most favorite song was "What If". Again, God really got me here. , something he's been speaking to me lately "I couldn't love you any more or less than I do". Other lines in his music that stuck out to me - "I surrender it all to you" and a line from his song 'I Just Want to Praise You' ~ "Daily I'm forgiven, daily I'm renewed"

I still can't believe, watching it online I still had that much fun. I still acted as though I was there in person, even though I was at home, in my room.

It's Tough Being A Woman.....week 6

Just to know we are significant to God and He's willing to orchestrate a holy set-up to speak to us is monumental to every woman who ever feared she was invisible or unremarkable.

If our ears were opened to hear them, the sounds of angelic activity would be deafening

All sorts of things are happening in the Heavenlies around us

Esther ch. 6 - the Jews in Susa, terrified and far from the temple, had no idea how close God was

Sometimes Christ walks through our crisis dressed in the best disguise of all: ordinary events. He tucks a miracle in the fold of his robe and sweeps in and out unnoticed. Only in retrospect do we realize that a divine visitation graced our cold, crude winter and the ressurection of spring is on it's way.

Oh for the wosdom of God to know that if the answer comes to early, we'd miss His greatest act.

Sometimes, when God takes our sleep, He simply has something to say

God desires my company

Just to know we are significant to Him and He's willing to orchestrate a holy set-up to speak to us is monumental

God is deeply attentive to our most secret hurts, concerns and hopes

When the God of all creation reserves a remark for you, Beloved, that's all you need to be remarkable

We, like Haman, might be to self-absorbed and self-convinced to realize that we've become someone we can't stand

If we have a heart for Christ and an authentic desire to pursue godliness, lessons like these become protection as much as conviction

Luke 19:38 - a kingship conferred by God alone

Gen. 2:9...becoming fixated on the one thing they couldn't have, cheating themselves out of the goodness and creativity God offered

Glance over at your Bible. Think what you've been through with God in those pages. Think of the hope, guidance, assurance, and affection you've sought. Think how thankful you are that God wrote something you can hold to your chest, rocking back and forth, when your heart is shattered and your sight too bluured to read

We learn from scripture as much as what we don't want to be as what we do

haman was suffering from a case of mistaken identity

Prov. 18:6,7

Pride is a state of the heart that, sooner or later, is betrayed by the mouth
(Matt. 12:34)God created man with an undeniuable heart-mouth connection. .....what's in the heart will inevitably come out the mouth

In His grace, however, God always provides a way of escape

We might glean several things from Mordecai's example. If we get overlooked for affirmation or promotion, so be it. Let's just do our job. If we get elevated and celebrated, so be it. Let's just do our jobs. Let's pursue a walk with God so close that the spotlights of this world - be they for us or against us - are eclipsed by His enormous shadow cast on our path

...free to be neither depressed nor impressed with the capricious reactions of this carnal world.

Luke 19:30-38
a kingship fonferred by God alone

...goodness and creativity God offered

The Bible....Think of what you've with God in those pages. Think of the hope, guidance, assurance and affection you've sought. Think hosw thankful you are that God wrote something you can hold to your chest, rocking back and forth when your heart is shattered and your sight too blurred to read.

We learn as much from Scripture about what we don't want to be as what we do.

Haman was suffering from a chronic case of mistaken identity.

Prov. 18:6 - 7

Pride is a state of the heart that, sooner or later, is betrayed by the mouth. Matt. 12:34 "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks"God created man with an undeniable heart-mouth connection.

In His grace, however, God always provides a way of escape

We might glean a few things from Mordecai's example. If we get overlooked for affirmation or promotion, so be it. Do your job. If w get elevated and celebrated, then so bie it. Let's just do our jobs. Let's pursue a walk with God so close that the spotlight of this world- be they for us or against us - are eclipsed by His enormous shadow cast on our path.

....free to be neither depressed nor inpressed with the capricious reaction of this carnal world.

We can find our signifigance and satisfaction in the shelter of the Most High.

Lee Sizemore produced ovrt 100 (biblestudy) series and with numerous authors. Without exaggeration, God used one individual to alter the entire landscape of Christian discipleship as we know it. And here's the catch. He did it all from a wheelchair. He'd been all over the world in that crazy chair to tape Biblestudies.
He poured himself out like a drink offering , often amid physical discomfort and pain - so that peoplecould learn how to know Christ through Gods Word.

Sometimes we wait and wait for God to move, then when He does, we protest that He is moving too fast. Our cries "Lord, why do You wait?" turn into "Lord, wait!"

My Time @ Gage

Today was my first day with the k-2nd graders since my surgery, and what an AMAZING day it was! I came into the classroom and heard each child gasp as they realized I had returned. Phenominal feeling! They were excited to be working with me again (or was it the dog, Idk. lol!) Today definately was a mood lifter.



Teachers tells me today one of her students asks her every day- "Is today an Alehe day?"



TOday: Had a volunteer luncheon @ Gage Elementary. Received a t-shirt, volunteer pin and a certificate. Had the most hours of any volunteer. Nominated for volunteer of the year. One teacher I volunteer for gave me a nice gift and her students each hand made me a card. So blessed! I love Love LOVE what I do!!!!!! (Allie even received a box of dogbones :) )


Fifteen minutes left into my day with the second graders the teacher asks which student would likke to work with me on beginning their homework assignment. At least fifteen hands go up. She chooses one, fourteen whiney "awwwwww"s follow. LOL! I love it!!!

Last day of the year and 2nd grade teacher tells me she hopes I will be back in the fall

The Rivers Edge........Part 2

'All God's promises are "Yes!" and "Amen!" All God's promises are true'......okay, we didn't exactly sing this song on Sunday, but it is stuck in my head as I type this.
Gods promises, the phrase has been haunting me for quite some time. What are they? What are they for me, specifically? Sunday's sermon just happened to be a confimatoin that God knows whats going on in this big head of mine, and I believe it's just the beginning.

Come into the presence of God with a willing heart, and receive what He has for you that day

Heirs to the Promise

Believe what God says about you and the promises that God has made to you
A promise made gives hope, confidence, an expectation of the fulfillment of that promise in your life
When God makes a prommise, there is nothing in Heaven or on earth that can ever come up that God says He cannot keep that promise. Hope and expectancy God will do what He says He is going to do!
He cannot force you to believe Him
You must first believe that His promises are for you in order to walk in them with hope, confidence, and expectancy
Galatians 3:6-9
Abraham - father of faith, believed God and took God at His word
Even when it did not make sense in the natural, even when it was uncomfortable, and even when it wasn't very popular.
"I'm gonna believe You God".
Genesis 22:15-18
Abraham and Issac
(my leaving Montana for California?)
God - "Give it to me, see what I can do in you". (my dreams for the future)
Sometimes the most valuable things is what's holding us back from the promises of God being released in our lives.
Abraham said 'Yes" to God
trusted God with everything he had

Romans 4:20-21

(obedience)
.....that what He had promised, He was also able to perform
God promised certain events would happen in the future. Abraham simply believed God
hugest obstacles of our life believe God for what He will say and will do
Holy Spirit = Promise keeper, Promise Helper
Gal. 3:16 - To Abraham and his seed (us, the body of Christ) were the pronmises made.
(Abrahamic Promises)
These promises were not in the natural
made to those who would put their trust in Christ
We have the promise of Abraham if we put our trust in Christ
Galatians 3:13-14 (Faith)
Christ came to not only save us fromredeem somethign but to giove us somethign as well
If we were just saved, that is something to rejoice about, if we were just redeemed that is something to get excited about
There are some promises that He has layed out in my life, that if I would just grab hold of those promises and begin to walk in the confidence, hope,and expectancy that He can do what He says He can do in my life......
*** God ~ "Watch how I'll build you to be used in God's kingdom"
Crazy enough to believe God....Do what He says, leave the results up to God
God loves that kind of heart
Galatians 4:1-8
Holy Spirit -Helps me to fulfill all God has called me to do
No limits in my life
Do it His way
view yourself properly
live your life out in that manner, as a child of God
Gal. 4:1
I can get stuck walking and talking like a slave
Living as a child of promise
Grace - Gods sovereign divine abiltiy to get the job done on our behalf when we can't do it
No one can earn the promises
Grace through faith
I have the capability to be righteous, to be holy because of what Christ has done on the cross for me
New Identity in Christ
Do your best, God will do the rest
confidence, hope, expectation
Romans 4:13
8:14-17
Genesis 22
Ephesians 3:6, 20-21
Titus 3:4-7
Hebrews 6:13-14;17-18
God cannot make a promise to His seed that He is not willing, able and capable to fulfill. Belive God, be fully convinced
James 2:5 - poor of this world rich in faith
If God says he is going to do it, He will fulfill it
Believe God
Galatians 22:15-18
Abraham was blessed
The earthly stuff is secondary, not the primary stuff, the primary stuff is tbe spiritual side of posessing the gates of the enemy. this taking ground that which the enemy has stolen, this 'taking back'.
6 to the 22nd power - the multiplication God wants to do in our life, in the spiritual realm
simple obedience to His voice
Have I put limits on God?
Ephesians 3:20-21
Why do we put limits on a limitless God?
Is there any enemy too great for us?
confidence, hope, expectancy we have the promises of God. The gates (authority) of Hell shall not prevail, victory is ours
Matthew 16:18-19
I can hold myself back
The devil is fearful that I might get ahold of this
The devil wants to bring doubt and disbelief
I want to start acting, walking, talking like it
Church is about giving my life away, I don't know what it looks like
(Book of Acts)
confindence, hope, expectancy
If thats the way they did it Lord, than I want it in my life
Amm I feeling defeated, do I keep judging myself at this refrence point of trying to live under the law?
How do I view my Heavenly Father? As a taskmaster, ready to slap your hand at the slightest infraction
I can never measure up, be the Christian God wants me to be, do what he asks me to dolosing the joy of the Lord of your life
Grace of God
God has promises for me to live out, things for me to do
GOd is going to work on my behalf
My reference point, God's work on the cross, his blod shed for me
God calls us to go forward. QUIT GOING BACK!

I was just thinking about RA's tagline on his website. Part of a song he wrote.....~ "Holding back the flood you'll find a rainbow." Hmmmmmm. Now I can't wait to listen. There are messages in this series, I may just have to keep following along online.

The Rivers Edge

"There you found me on the bottom the forgotten and there the Angels came and surrounded all my problems, crying "Holy!" and singing "Jesus Reigns!"

I was going to visit my friend Richard Andrew at his church in Rancho Cucamonga, California. Ironically, its the same city where my dad grew up. It was a great way to sucker....um, talk my parents into going! Come to find out, it was closer to my dad's childhod home than we thought. We had talked about visiting for weeks, maybe even months I dunno, but something always happened....one of us was getting hurt and/or having surgery.
He sends me a message over FB about visiting his church as he is leading worship and sdoing all songs that he had written. I message him back saying I would work on it. His reply ~ "Cool! I'm gonna pray you guys in!" I decide to do the same.
A week ago we were finally able to fit it into our schedule, not the week we originally wanted, but a visit none-the-less. I sent him a message letting him know. The week was not going by fast enough! By Wednesday I wrote on his FB wall-"Is it Sunday yet?", he doing the same by Saturday afternoon, making me laugh. I wanted Saturday to be over in a hurry, but feared Sunday just might do the same if I wished it by too fast. I went to bed early (9PM) because with the 1 1/2 hour drive, I had to get up eaerly to be at service by 10AM, and with these headaches and nausea I have been waking up with for quite some time, I desperately wanted to avoid that Sunday morning as much as I could. Alas, try as I might I just couldn't sleep. I was too excited! I slept, but not that deep sleep that makes it seem like its been five minutes and it's really been a few hours. I felt like I slept for hours and it had only been about fifteen minutes! ARGH! I did this three or four times. Six-thirty came...Finally, Up-An'-At-'Em, I did NOT want to be late! U nfortunately it took me some time to get motivated, as I feared it would. THe headache attacked, btu I was determined it would not keep me from my mission.....worship with Richard Andrew and the folks at The Rivers Edge.
The drive up there took FOR-EV-ER! (my dad even joked about changing his mind about us going....I didn't laugh. THAT was cruel!) I musta looked at my watch every five to fifteen minutes on the drive up("Are we there yet?!") , and I did NOT want to be late!!! I was hoping to catch him before service started, letting him know I was here. I had wanted to sneak up on him and start singing the first line to his song 'Wave A Hand' ~ "Pardon me have we met before? You look familiar but I still can't tell for sure. Can't explain the similarities of what it is that makes ya look like me well....", but I swear he must have told people in his church I was coming because someone had spilled the beans as soon as I got in the door. Uh, well, as soon as I saw him my mind went blank, dang! I guess I was excited? lol! And so was he once he saw me! Ohmygoodness the whole time we talked before and after service he was like a little kid in a candy shop, all excited and animated!
Two things I regret not doing that night. I did not get a picture with MY camera phone (THANKYOU JODY for the picture!!!) and not sitting next to him in the service (but then again i DID tell him I was going to sit front row when he led worship.
He led three or four songs for worship at the very beginning....and I thought that was the end of worship! "WHAT?! Thats IT?! NOOOOOOOO, I didn't comne all this way for three songs!" Haha, my bad. After a few announcements and such, he was back on stage for the second set. Whew! And the second set was nothing short of annointed!
~'Take My Will'
~"None Compare'
~'Cry'n Holy'
Worship got done and I secretly hoped it would have lasted the entire service. I am a worshipper, what can I say?! \o/ I must have had my arms raised in worship the entire time. \o/ My arms are still feeling it!
The messsage. I thought I heard Pastor Debbie Hornsby say something near the end of announcements about preaching on tithing. My first thought was "Oh, great." A touchy subject for me being that I am on public assistance (SSI). Well, at least the worship was good, even if that was all God brought me up here for. Hahahaha, boy was I SO wrong! As it turns out that her husband, pastor Gary Hornsby, spoke on God's promises. I was abundantly blessed by that message. God was speaking to me SO much, I am sure I missed a lot of what was preached because my hand could not write fast enough. It was a bummer they didn't have sermon notes in their bulletin, so I improvised and used the back of an announcement sheet, and then ran out of room so I had to go searching for another piece of paper to write on....found a piece of paper in my Bible and ran out of room on that one too! LOL!!! As soon as the message is posted on their church website I will listen again and post here.
Richard came back on stage and picked up his guitar, started playing only to have a bit of background music for the pastor to close out the service. Dang! I was SO hoping he was going close us out in worship. :'( I couldn't leave without seeing Richard after service. When he asked me what I thought, I couldn't help a huge grin wiping across my face. This day was exactly what the Doctor ordered, and Richard said that he could sense it even during pastors message. Whoa, talk about a huge confirmation to what God was speaking...(I am almost crying while writing this sentence)!
At the end of the service I had another wonderful opportunity waiting for me. I had the pleasure of meeting one of Richards friends in person. See, he introduced us online. And there was a funny story behind the post that started our friendship. The three of us had our picture taken together (YES, I FINALLY have a picture with Richard!).
Mom and dad had a difficult tinme getting me out the door. I coulda hung out with Richard all day! Why couldn't God have put us closer together geographically?! Before I even left the building I got the brilliant idea (or was it God-given) to start praying about when the next time God would give us the opportunity to fellowship together again. As I was getting ready for bed that night, mom mentioned I might ask as a Christmas present to go back and se him at his church again. Uh, Lord????????

As far as that whole vening goes, dad says he cannot remember the last time he sasw me so happy..

It's Tough Being A Woman....week 5

The Gold Scepter
God ~ "Reach out and take hold of your destiny!"

Esther 5:2
When he saw Queen Esther standing in the court, he was pleased with her and held out to her the gold scepter that was in his hand. So Esther approached and touched the tip of the scepter.

(Esther 4:16 ~ If I perish, I perish)

session four - face our worst fears
the enemy and our own self-destructive natures combine to taunt us with "what if's". Once we are in Christ, Satan has no authority to destroy us.

Once Satan sees what we believe would be the end of us, he threatens and torments us with it. (Prevents us from being all God wants us to be

Our conditional trust positions us as negotiators and beggars before God instead of secure children

.....secure children who trust their lives to the faithful Father

When fears become reality, we are devistated, thinking God is unfaithful. Satan essentially gets what he wants - us to believe that life is over. Unless opur belief system chages, it is! (Prov. 23:7 As a man thinks in his heart, so is he)
we are free and safe to voice our worst nightmares to God

...trust Him no matter what (this wil only make us stronger)

most of what we fear never happens

Our only steadfast defenses against life's certain uncertainties is unconditional trust in a Savior who loves us more than his own life

If....Then statements

If surgery Then God will take care of me
If I doubt Then God has a plan
If no job Then God desires to accomplish something monumental in me
If singleness Then Gods going to demonstrate His sufficiency to me
If I perish Then God will welcome me in Heaven

Clearly she appeard before Xerxes as none other than the Queen of the vast Persian empire
(with confidence)
(Approaching God's throne)

How often does our own King hold out the scepter of approval and though we inch forward in timid approach we chose not to reach out and touch it?.....who knows what mighty deliverance is at hand!
Rev. 22:16 - 17 ~ "Come!"

(Esther 4:16) Esthers actions were illegal

Xerxes knew something was wrong based on her demeanor and not just her broken protocol

"....What troubles you Hagar?" Gen. 21:17
"What ails you....?" Psalm 114:5

He (God) asked her (Esther) what was troubling or ailing her (Tell God)

Sometiems God is more aware than we of just how much He requires of us. He knows how hard it's going to be for us.

I persist becasue it appears to be God's will (talking about her speaking and writing)

When you blow it, do you wait a long time before trying again? Do you feel teh need to always make an 'A'?

....sometimes just surviving certain tasks without falling apart is our best and in those times, God is not ashamed of our performance. He's proud of us for fighting overwhelming human emotions to do His will. He is intersted in our heartsHe loves our willingness and obedience despite our insecurities

Man is still God's prized creation and most valued treasure

...deny ourselves,; our selfishness, ambition, pasts, or any damaged emotions the right to cheat us of His far higher plans for us

He's just not willing to leave things dead

Any time God calls us to die, his purpost is to reveal larger life (Me:"What could possibly be greater in Ca than here in Mt?")

Esther 5:9 - what is troubling beyond coincidence is that the Jews were at their lowest

A frightening circumstance may remain exactly the same, but God's child need not

A terrifying thing had ha[[ened while evil basked in its success: prayer and fasting. A godless man had no idea teh well of divine power a person cvould access from praying knees. There abides the drink that can stady the legs of a lamb led to slaughter while a wolf howls proudly nearby.

(If I didn't move to Montana/California, look what I might have missed.)

Courage is not eh absence of fear, but doign whatever it is inspite of fear.

One reason we desperate;ly need to know our standing in God's eyes is so that we are not consumed with high standing in our own eyes or the eyes of others.

We can serve from our knees on earth becasue we are seated with the King in heaven

God compiled the whole cannon of Scripture to teach us about human nature as well as His nature. God's full intent is for us to view them side by side.

....wants us to know He is God asd we are not. He also wants us to see who we were meant to be when he formed us in His image

Discontent with selfishness and weary of ego, we finally become willing to lose ourselves to something greater ....we find Christ as we've never known Him. ....and startle to discover that part o fourselves resembles Him.
(2Pter 1:3-4)

Haman's boasts (his wealth, status, ) Apparently, the only ones who goty to talk were those who talked about him.

...letting my preoccupation with one person steal teh joy that countless others brought me (people younget than me, getting married, having children)
...mental preoccupation.... we serve whatever masters us

our bondage, stronghold, can be a person.... he or she consumes an excessive and unhealthy spot in our thoughts, whether negative or positive. The individual may be someone
we are attracted to, feel threatedned or defeated by
whose approval eludes us, or whose happiness consumes us (Gal. 1:10)
whome we adore, despise, or far more complexly, both. Our problem peoplle are ofent those we "love" one moment and "hate" the next

We form mental strongholds towards those who won't give us what we want or need

Somewhere along eh way we felt emotionally masterd by the. Our thoughts abotu the person emotionally mastered us

....do what is necessary to bring our thoughts capitve to the knoweledge of God
(2Cor 10:5)

(Lord, I wanted -or felt I needed- this person to change, instead, change me!)

root of preoccupation? My own insecurities with myself

God is the only one who can tend to the secret places

Admit we have an area of brokenness

Discontent with selfishness and weary of ego, we finally become willing to lose ourselves to something greater. In doign so, we find Christ as we've never kmown Him.

"Grow up and get over yourself, it's not all about you!"

Prov. 4:23
Isaiah 26:3 - "peace"

Spirit West Coast Del Mar 2010

It all started with meeting Richard Andrew in Montana. I was invited to be one of his guests at his concert in Del Mar when I told him about my move back to So.Cal. Sadly, just before that I had fallen and broken a leg so I was still recuperating. I couldn't go. Nor could I find the finances in time to pull it off, and so I started saving for the following year with the hope that again Richard would be playing. I became a FaceBook fan of Spirit West Coast and wrote on their wall almost monthly begging for him to be there! I even wrote an e-mail to the main office (I assumed) and received a what I thought a promising reply. I prayed......and prayed....and begged and prayed.....alas it was not to be. :'( *Sniff* So instead, I went an bragged about he and his music to anyone and everyone I could; a t-shirt vendor, KSGN peeps, SWC volunteers. I think I actually got a volunteer interested in checking him out! :D our very last day (sad, didn't want it to end) as we were headed home, a young girl walkeed by my mother and high-fived her. For what reason we were a little unsure. But then again, maybe it was the 'ra' shirt mom wore. (I am getting one soon I hope)

We had our tickets months in advance, and I was busily counting down the days. I would check the SWC site at least once a month or more to check for the 2010 site. When it was finally up I read through the entire site. Tickets, artists, what to bring, activities, you name it. I continuously checked the site for updated information.

Here was our chosen concert line-up for the weeken. So amazing we got to see everyone we wanted. Parking was never an issue for me as there were plenty of spaces to accomodate my van and wheelchair lift.

FRIDAY

Jonny Diaz -
3:30pm
Air1 radio Main Stage
Opening for 'The Afters'.
Now, I did not stay for 'The Afters' as it was not a band I particularly cared for even though I did know the first song. Mom and I both thought Jonny Diaz was the best one of the opening night. His opening song, appropriately titled 'The Opening' was hilarious. Sadly, he only sang for at least half an hour. What a great guy, and funny! Saved his best song "Beautiful You" for last. His second best song that night I happened to like was a song titled "Sarah Jo", about being "God's little girl". I could kinda put myself into that song. After hearing his other music for the first time, we are definately die-hard Jonny Diaz fans now. All of his songs really spoke to me in some way. Later that day we just happened to be walking by the K-LOVE radio station booth and I noticed a crowd gathered. I moved my powerchair in a way to get a closer look. GASP! Jonny was there! Sadly I didnt have anything for him to sign but when I saw somone getting a picture with him I quickly jumped in line! Better than an autograph any day!!! I still can't get over getting my pic with him, and it was the only one that really turned out, Ha. When I arrived home that night I immediately found his fan page on FB and added him. I bought his CD.

Tenth Avenue North -
Air1 Main stage
6pm - 7pm
Brian Weaver opened for TAN and sadly he started before we got there (the program said a different time), only got to hear one song. Fave songs of TAN; Love Is Here, *By Your Side, The Truth is Who You Are, Times, You Are More, *This is Where Healing Begins, I'll Be By Your Side. Okay, so I had a hard time deciding which one I liked best,lol! I love watching bands have a lot of fun on stage, and they really looked as though they did enjoy what they do. It really makes the experience that much better.
One of the bandmembers shared a bit from his heart. The best quote ~ "The Christian life: not about competition, but celebration. Not about action, but reaction."
I bought their CD

SATURDAY

By this time I could pretty much find my way around the SWC site fairly well. Most of the concerts we wanted to see were between twor three stages. I didn't have to do too much asking for directions. Maps don't help me much, lol!

Philip Bardowell-
JC Muzk stage
Saturday afternoon 2:30pm
The JCMuzk stage was great. It was a stage mom liked the music best, and she really liked Philip. She was also able to lie on the grass in the sun and rest her back. Me I kicked back in the powerchair and soaked in the sun and the Son, listening. One afternoon while reclined in the powerchair a woman walks by and says to me, "Hey, cool chair!".

Sunday morning worship 10:30am.
Wow! Can that man worship!!! . Sunday mornign worship "Lord I'm Amazed By You" and "Let Me Be Your Servant Today" were great songs he sung.
Sunday Message- Reg Cox
It was good, really good. Dang I knew I should have taken notes! My mother did.

Mathew West -
Air1 radio Main Stage
4:45 - 5:35
So good! Definately one I loved every song he sung, too hard to pick a favorite! Another singer whose energy on stage and connection with teh crowd made iot an enjoyable experience. Bought all three of his CD's, I forgot how much I like his music. Tried to get his autograph/picture but line was too long by the time I got there :(
"All things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His good purpose." ~ word shared by Matthew West

Jars of Clay
Air1 radio Main stage
6:30 - 7:20
Some bands really need to learn to turn down the music and turn UP their mics! But I still enjoyed them to a point. Most of the bands in cluding this one really had such energy on stage making for an awesome concert. Fave song of the night - "Two Hands"

comedy concert with Thor Ramsey and Daren Streblow - I like Daren Streblow more. More original stuff where as Thor Ramsey just asked what everyones worst Christmas gift was and made jokes off of that. Oh yeah, Daren made a comment about not watching a lot of TV, and heard me cheer. I forget his comment now (drats) but I laughed.

Steven Curtis Chapman
Air1 Main stage
8pm - 10pm.
(YAY! Loved him since I was a kid!!!!!) Of all teh Christian artists I was most excioted to see SCC. Sadly, for some reason the show got started late and the speaker went first (not the way the schedule read). Mom was too tired by this point, I guess I was too. The whole reason for the ticket upgrade was to see Steven Curtis Chapman up close and we didnt even get to use it for its intended purpose. :'( So disappointed, but not holding it aganst mom. She was a trooper through the entire weekend.
I bought two of his CD's.

Somewhere between Saturday and Sunday and watching how much fun the artists seemed to have, a thought came to haunt me once again. Some time before starting college I had a desire to pursue music ministry. When Azusa Pacific University came to our church when I was in Jr. High, I guess thats when the thought entered my mind. At the time a family friend was traveling and singing in nursing homes, on cruise ships, and other places. But then I moved to Montana and everything changed. One of these days I'll get to singing in church again. I kinda miss it. Especially after this weekend.

SUNDAY

Shaun Groves- Shaun Groves opened up for Fransesca Batistelli. I really wished he would have been one of the main singers after hearing him. I was not ready for him to be done. "Welcome Home" is a great song!
Gets mixed up with ....oh shoot, I cannot remeber now. Buut I do remeber my first thought was "Great! I am not the only one!!!". I enjoyed him more than I thought I would. I knew more of his music than thought too. His seminar on the beauty of simplicity was interesting, and I was touched by the fact that he invited people to e-mail him about questions regarding the topic. I did not get a CD of his music, and now I am really REALLY bummed) He opened for Fransesca Batistelli.

Francesca Batistelli -
Air1 Main stage
2:00 - 3:15pm
I may have heard a song or two of hers before and didnt put the two together. One afternoon while looking at the SWC site for last year, I came across Fransesca on the artist line-up page and clicked on her name to hear a sample of her music. Fell instantly in love! Its hard to chose a favorite song of hers, they are all so awesome! She did sing two brand new songs however, and I loved them, "Don't Miss It" and my favorite of the two, " Angels By Your Side". This one made me cry. I bought her "Paper Heart' CD and I intend on getting her new song 'Angels By Your Side'.

Angel Smythe-
JC Muzk stage
5:30 - 6:30pm
Sunday afternoon concert on the grass. Sadly mom and i couldn't stay through the whole thing. Mom and I were pretty wiped out at this point and couldn't wsait to fall into bed, but we both thought she was great! her beautiful voice adn her energy opn stage and the way she drew the crowd in were what sold us to her music. I am keeping tabs on her from now on!

Of course all of the concerts were too short! Just when you really get into it and its the last song! Argh. No worries, I came home with a pile of CD's to listen to. I came home with something else too, a slight cough and sore throat. Guess I had too much "Woooo!" -ing going on. :)
Mom and I had 'Full Event' wristbands, of which I wore for days afterward! I did not want the weekend to end, and so I knew it was officially over if I cut it off!

Can't wait to do it all again!