20-Day Gratitude Challenge

20-Day "Choosing Gratitude" Challenge 2019Your Challenge: For twenty days, Ask God to show you the many ways in which He has blessed you. Keep track of what He shows you and express gratitude to Him and others *daily* for specific praises. 

DAY ONE: A Declaration of Thanksgiving and Praise

And they sang responsively, praising and giving thanks to the LORD, “For he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever toward Israel.” And all the people shouted with a great shout when they praised the LORD, because the foundation of the house of the LORD was laid.       ~ Ezra 3:11

As God's people, we need to dedicate each day for Thanksgiving and praise for all that God has done for us---even in the midst of conflict and trials. Be an igniter of gratitude by encouraging those you love and care about to cultivate a thankful heart too.


Lord, teach me to cultivate a thankful heart. Help me choose to give thanks in the places I most want to complain. I want my life, my heart, and my attitude to have gratitude for Your provision each and every day. 

ELEVATE: a.k.a. "Why Can't Every Day Be Sunday?"

Wow God. Just,.........wow. These were the only words I could think of after my morning with the children at Shadow Mountain Cummunity Church.

I awoke feeling good this morning. (Considering the past three weeks, it's about bloody time! haha)
The past two Sundays I have been missing little 'C'. A little blonde cutie who's name is similiar to mine, and whom I believe latched onto me because of it. I half expect her to walk in the door still; asking me if she could sit next to me and/or hold Alehe's leash, which is something I often let her and a select few other children do.
Little 'N' wasn't in Sundayschool today. He is another 'melt-yer-heart' kind of child. He likes to climb in my lap and sit, sometimes facing me, sometimes engaged a bit in the Bible story. He'll often take my face in his hands, very gently, for a few seconds. Priceless seconds if you ask me. Sometimes he will hug me. He seems to enjoy pushing my wheelchair, although he will often run off and go do something else, leaving me high and dry, lol! Stinker. He does interact with Alehe to some degree, petting her. I try to initiate the interaction getting him started, gently taking his hand and stroking Alehe's fur wth it. But it doesn't last very long.

Worship with little 'L'
When it comes to a child with a significant disability, I often wonder how much I am connecting with them. I long to break into their world and get them to understand how much they are valued as the precious child they are (at least by me) and important to the world, especially in God's eyes.
I stood next to L during our worship time today. Singing and signing, and trying to engage him in the worship. At one point I was taking his hands and signing with them. He really seemed to enjoy this. His face lit up and he smiled, watching me the whole time.

'L' and Alehe
He took the leash in his little hands, and so I let him hold it. We walked side by side around the perimeter of the classroom. He was pretty happy. I believe at one point of the morning he tried to say a word. But sadly none of us really caught what he said (it's pretty quiet). He did seem more vocal today than usual. No coherant words other than that one time, but a lot of vocal 'sounds'. He smiled at times. Especially around Alehe.
I tend to measure life by the big moments, often times letting the little ones pass me by without much notice. Today didnt seem like much at first, btu after this one child...... I now cannot wait until next week!
Here's a child who does not communicate verbally (he has coclear implants in both ears and a seizure disorder. CE-EWT as a button, especially when he smiles.) I often wonder what goes on in the minds of some of these children as they sit listening to the Biblestory. How much of this are they really getting? (I am learning to trust that God is working in their hearts and minds)

A few of our children are seen with toys in their hands as one of the teachers shares a story from the Bible. This is not unusual, nor are they being defiant. Some of these children keep their hands busy to keep their focus on the teacher who is sharing a story from the Bible. You don't really know how much they are getting, you just trust God that He is moving in their hearts and minds.

Why can't every day be Sunday?

=D



"Take my will and make it your own. I'm on my knees letting go. Seeking more of You and finding less of me, now I'm free! So take my will, let Your kingdom come. Let Your will be done." ~ Take My Will' by Richard Andrew

Experiencing Gods Best for Our Lives

Experiencing Gods Best For Our Lives
April 3, 2011
Dr. David Jeremiah
Hebrews 4:1 – 13

Blood on the Lintel and doorposts (picture of the cross)
Application of ch. 4 ~ Those who found Christ (followers) and are now leaving Egypt and onto Gods best for them. From Egypt to that place is through the wilderness
This world is not our home; we are pilgrims and strangers in this land.
God wants us to experience His best today and when we get to Heaven
Enter into His blessing

I. The experiences on the road to the Promised Land - Hebrews 4:1-3

A. The experience of fear - Hebrews 4:1; II Timothy 1:7; Romans 8:15;
Psalm 111:10; Deuteronomy 12:9*
365 Fear Not’s in the Bible
We are told to fear – Godly fear required of Gods people,
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (awe) Psalm 111:10
Believe, and experience Gods best for our lives
(I want to experience Gods best for my life)
Am I missing something? Am I missing Gods best for my life?
God wants us to discover His plan for our lives

REST
Gods Rest is Gods BEST for you and for me (Gods plan for our lives)
God wants us to discover His plan for our lives
In sync with Him
Stress, anxiety, human fear gone
Ch 4 - Enter ~ mentioned five times
(God, what are you up to?)
Call to action
Enter into Gods best for our lives
Failure to enter into all God has for them is regrettable, but not serious (some believe)
But not trusting God is something to fear
Losing heart in our Christian Experience
Going on toward God with His plan in our lives
Don’t be satisfied that you’re just a Christian
Quest for Gods best

B. The experience of failure - Hebrews 4:2; Numbers 14:7-8
Gospel – Good News
(normally death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ)
two witnesses went into Canaan to spy it out for Gods people, so they could enter into Gods best for them
Gospel mixed with FAITH, its not enough just to read it
Enter into the blessings God has for us His children
Faith – Trust without reservation, not belief without proof

C. The experience of faith(trust) - Hebrews 4:3
Believe God, trust Him, and accept He has a plan for your life
Some of us do a lot better with eternity than we do tomorrow
If God is worthy of your trust for eternity, He is worthy of your trust for tomorrow
Ask Him to help you get to His best for your life

II. The examples of the “rest” of the Promised Land - Hebrews 4:4-11

A. The example of creation rest - Hebrews 4:4-5
Seventh day -Sabbath (5pm Saturday)
Jewish people turned it into a burden
God wanted US to have a rest
The blessing of rest (His rest, His best)
Instructions for entering into rest

B. The example of Canaan rest - Hebrews 4:6-7
God wanted his people to have when they went to the edge of the Promised Land
Why should they have believed that
God promised it to them!
Tjeyy walked to the edge, and stopped believing the promises
Belief / Obedience

C. The example of Calvary rest - Hebrews 4:8-13; John 19:30;
Matthew 11:28-30
God wanted Israel to enjoy His very best He had set up for them. They missed it because they didn’t believe
Caleb took his mountain for God
David
Solomon
The rest still remains for us
Don’t be satisfied with just getting out of Egypt
III. The examination of the residents of the Promised Land - Hebrews 4:12-13
How do I know if I am going in the right direction, genuinely, with right motives?

A. Examined by the Word of God - Hebrews 4:12
Vs. 12
Read the Bible
Discern,
the word of God will be a critic of your life
GPS system for my life, the Word of God

B. Examined by the God of the Word - Hebrews 4:13

God sees our lives
Vs. 13 We have the God of the Word to help us to understand where we are
You can’t fool God
Nothing is hidden from Him
Journey from salvation to Gods best for my life
I have to enter into Gods best for my life
Saved in order that we might serve
Eph. 2:10
We are saved FOR good works
(Lord, what are the good works you have for me to do)
Find out how I can get to Gods best for my life

Reflect on what God has saved me from

So thankful to be alive, show me how I can help (serve You)

Discover what God wants

Fearfully enter into Gods plan for my life

His rest is His best
“Lord, whatever you want, whatever you have for me”

Hebrews ~ Going on with God
God has so much more for us than we could ever dream
(I have had feelings of “this is it, there’s nothing more”)

( In Prayer: He has so much more for us to know than we take time to learn)

New Condo!

One week before this past Thanksgiving I was blessed to be able to move into a condominium (=thanks to my aunt and my parents =). We had been looking since it was decided I was moving back to So. Cal., and whilst unfortunately I did not find one in the same complex as my best friend (:'() (believe me, I tried), I did manage to find one relatively close.

The Remington (reminds me of a stuffed bear I had as a kid with the same name). I prayed for and low and behold got a tennis court, weightroom and swimming pool/hot tub. (Now if it would just warm up so that I could actually USE the pool! I can see it from my livingroom window, and its beckoning!)

The community college is relatively close to the condo, so we advertised for a PCA through the college. A few people were interviewed and found a young gal that I really liked as a live-in. We get along great, and have had fun together. There is a Denney's down the road and we've gone out to eat a few times. Sometimes just the two of us, or on occasion with her fiance' and his friend (we are a riot!). If for any reason I ever needed a back-up, there is another young gal who lives in the same complex who is willing to help when needed. There is even an RN who lives outside the complex but still close enough she could help out if need be. (thank You Lord!)

It's been great so far, the gal I hired as a live-in is also into horses, has a 2 year-old Jack Russel/Blue Heeler mix (named Miley), and goes to church near-by. Miley and Alehe tolerate eachother. On a very rare occasion you can catch them playing.

Lawn maintenance is going to love me - Ah yes, I have managed to tear up the grass with the powerchair on a few occassions now. I had to call home for assistance in getting me out those times too. It had rained, and the ground was extremely soft because of the rain. I did ge to meet a few of our neighbors, however, it was SO nto the way I wanted to be introduced, having to be rescued from the clutches of a soggy wet/muddy lawn. *SIGH*

Come visit me sometime! (pretty please!?)

KSGN's Making A Difference Tour

KSGN - Making a Difference Tour
Richard Andrew, Jadon Lavik, Raymond Gregory
Harvest Christian Fellowship --- Riverside, California

I was hoping to attend in person and was going to, even invited to sit front row until mom and dad had to go out of town on business. Drats. I was gonna get a t-shirt from Richard and have both my mom and I wear them together that night. I invited people to go too, and prayed about certain people going. But watched it online instead, and believe I had almost as much fun.

Raymond Gregory
Although his first song I wasn't crazy about his style or his voice, he even seemed a bit uncomfortable at first, by the second or third song I was really enjoying his music and he seemed to loosen up quite a bit. What a great sense of humor too, even in his music!
"As long as Your on my side, I'll be wealthy" ~ A song lyric of his that really jumped out at me tonight. And when I first heard 'Happily Married' on the radio, I will confess it wasn't a song I particularly cared for, only because I am not (yet, I hope? Hint hint Lord???) But for some reason, tonight it had a different feel, and I responded differently to it. I dunno, can't explain really.

Richard Andrew
Now *here's* the reason I watched tonight, and frankly I couldn't wait! Oh yeah, I coulda watched him aaaaallll night! I made a comment on the tour site about three o'clock this afternoon, going crazy because it was still four hours away! HaHA!
I had to laugh at myself really, I saw Richard up on stage getting ready to sing right after someone got up and said a few words, and I became r-e-a-l-l-y excited "There he is, there he is!" I'm such a nut!
"Knocking On Heaven's Door". God's telling me regarding my future and the plans that He has for me, "keep on asking, Keep on seeking, KEEP on knocking, whatever you do , don't give up!".
As he is singing an acoustic version "None Compare", my all-time FAVORITE song of his, he shares with the audience (I'm sure those online as well as in person) that God was speaking to someone. "He can see you in the valley, He can hear you call His name" Don't know if that was meant just for me, hope someone else got it too, but it still made me smile.
His drummer sure looked like he was having a blast! That was awesome to see! I know I was. I was trying to recline in my power chair while watching but it didn't work. I was sitting up in my chair having a grand ol' time, dancing and waving to his song 'Wave a Hand'. "I'm no longer the man I used to be. Thank God almighty I'm free at last I'm free......!"
I did not want his set to end!!! I secretly hoped he would even sing a new song, but was thankful for what he did sing tonight.I even sang along, I believe to all of them!

Greg Laurie, pastor of Harvest Christian Fellowship got up and gave a brief word just before Jadon Lavik was up to sing. Pastor Laurie spoke about the woman at the well. I have heard so many pastors preach on this. The one line I really remember and that spoke to me was "Jesus didn't point a finger at her failings."

Jadon Lavik
I am a new fan of Jadon Lavik. His music was crazy good! A little country, a little rock...... My most favorite song was "What If". Again, God really got me here. , something he's been speaking to me lately "I couldn't love you any more or less than I do". Other lines in his music that stuck out to me - "I surrender it all to you" and a line from his song 'I Just Want to Praise You' ~ "Daily I'm forgiven, daily I'm renewed"

I still can't believe, watching it online I still had that much fun. I still acted as though I was there in person, even though I was at home, in my room.

Surgery - Crazily Enough, I am Quite Looking Forward to it!

'Can You see me in the valley?
Can You hear me call Your name?
You whisper "Do not be afraid, for Help is on the way" ' ~ None Compare, written by Richard Andrew

I am scheduled for surgery on my bladder feb 19th at 8a.m. They are prefornming two procedures in the same surgery. The crux of the surgery will be to place a supra-pubic tube just above the pelvic bone to drain the bladder into a leg bag. To also give my bladder added control (we hope), they are also taking a slice of skin from my hip to place under the bladder to act as a 'sling'. Over the years because of the spiuna bifida and increased curve in my spine, I have virtually ;lost all control. I am tired of spending half my day in the bathroom! And because of my lack of strength in my legs (due to fracturing both bones in my pper and lower leg) I do not have the strength I need for safe transfers. Crazily enough i am rather looking forward to this
The urinary diversion was discussed in months past, where doctors would take my apendix and route it to my bellybutton to use a catheter for emptying my bladder. In readign about the procedure online, I was a bit nerbvous as to reading all that it entails as well as pros and con's from patients who have had it done. Speakign with docots, especially my neurologist, it was advised that we try to avoid this surgery due to the risk of infection to my cranial shunt.
My docot whoi is performing the surgery. Awesome! Very warm and compassionate, cencerned for my needs, my fears and concerns, and most of all my desires. Unfortunately her husband could not fidn a job here in SD but outside the county, so she is no longer goign to be my doctor afterward. but she did say that sicne takign on my case she DOES want to remain my doctor until we see this thing through. She has introduced me to teh doctor who is taking over her practice here (a man) and I really feel comfortable with him as well. (Thank You Lord!) he will also be assisting during the surgery.
The past week or so I have been constantly asking God if this is the right thing to do. Somehow thinking that this would limit my dreams for the future, when in realyity....this could be the door TO them. "You could heal me lord". finishing up teh weekly homework for our Wednesday night Bible study, I came across something in the 'Notes' section of my Bible and how God sometimes uses medical intervention to bring about His healing.

Take my Will and make it Your own. I'm on my knees, letting go. Seeking more of You, finding less of me....and now I'm free, Take my will, let Your kindgdom come, let Your will be done ~ "Take My Will" written by Richard Andrew

A journal with various passages from the book of Psalms was given to me by my cousin for my birthday. i have been taking one page a week and really meditating on that page so as to really commit it to memory and not a "here today, gone tomorrow", kind of reading. In my quiet time this week three passages stuck out to me

Psalm 3:4-5 ~ I lay down and slept for the Lord sustained me
(difficulty with anesthetic due to tachycardia)
Psalm 4:6-8 ~ I go to bed and sleep in peace
(the word peace sticking out to me lately)
Because Lord, only You keep me safe
(felt like God's assurance he will watch over me during surgery)
Psalm 127:2 ~ the lord gives sleep to those He loves
("I love you Tryna, therefore I will protect you before, during, and after surgery")

Sometimes God Closes a Door, Only to Open a Window

Sorting through feelings of today, trying to come up with a title to this post....this line hits me, "Sometimes the hardest things to do are in perfect sync with God's will and plan". Today was my last day with preschoolers. It was a tough decision on my part, and definately NOT easy by any sense of the word! And as I type this, 'None Compare' is playing on my computer. "Do Nnot be afraid, for help is on the way".

When I first started volunteering in schools, it was rough having to leave the dog but I wanted something to do and wanted to be with children so bad. Poor Alehe couldn't understand....she kept running to the door, somtimes with the leash in her mouth or jumping in the van... and I would have to tell her to stay. Well, lately I have been noticing that this leaving her most of the time I am gone is affect the times she DOES work with me. She is not as responsive to my commands as she needs to be. In my CCI training sessions with her and previous dogs, we were told that this could happen over time.

I pressed into one of the preschools abotu the issue, and it sorta fell flat. I wrote a note to the volunteer coordinator at this same school and started the ball rolling looking into other classrooms at that same school or inthe same district. Another classroom, this time second graders, came available and said no prob. I am already a volunteer TA for a first graded class, and so not doing the preschool would open up opportunity in that class to bring Alehe, and they are excited. Why, the past two weeeks kiddos come up to me "when do you get to bring your dog?" And they ask me all sorts of questions about her. Friday is my first day with Alehe in both classrooms.

My last day in the preschool was difficult. My heart felt heavy, I LOVED these kids! They in turn LOVED me! (and so did the teachers). I felt like God was closing yet anbother door I thought He had led me to walk through. When I got home, I listened to a song RA had posted to his Facebook page yesterday. I don't always listen to them becasue I have all of them on CD :D ,but felt led to do so this time. "None Compare' played, and God spoke. "Do not be afraid, for Help is on the way".
God is totally in control!



After that and I started singing the chorus to yet another RA song, 'Take My Will'



Take My Will
Make it Your own
I'm on my knees, I'm letting go
Seeking more of Youu
and finding less of me , and now I'm free\
So take my will
And let Your kingdom come
Let Your Will be done

Sermon - A Simple Thanksgiving

Dr. David Jeremiah – Shadow Mountain Community Church

Everything in my life is filtered through the loving hands of God
Humbled…or hardened?
Beauty in the simplest elements of life
When it’s dark enough, you see the stars
Consistency of God’s blessings dulls our attitude
2 Corinthians 11 – Apostle Paul, great teacher of gratitude
Giving thanks for our FAITH
2Cor. 9:15 – spontaneous praise; Ephesians 1:3
I know Jesus, therefore I am rich
The greatest thing God can do, bring me to Himself
Giving thanks for our FAMILY
2Timothy 1: 3, 5
One day you may wake up and realize the things you so desperately wanted are the things in which you already have
Giving thanks for your FRIENDS
Paul’s Epistles
Philippians 1:4 ; Romans 1:8 ; Ephesians 1:15, 16 ; Colossians 12:3, 4 ; 2Timothy 1:3 ; 1 Corinthians 1:4 ; Phil. 1:3 ; 1Thess. 1:2 ; 2Thess. 1:3
Giving thanks for our FINANCES
Phil. 4:10, 19 – 20 ; Psalm 68:19 ; Psalm 107:21 – 22
What is your perspective? (Book: Paradox of Choice – Why More is Less)
Giving thanks for our FUTURE
Col. 1:12 – 13
I have an incredible future; the BEST is yet to come!
Loss and pain open the door to gratitude

Boundaries

A couple of weeks ago I started attending a singles Bible Study @ Skyline church. My cousin encouraged me to attend (she was thinking dating purposes, me just getting to know people in the church and hopefully close to my age). Anyway, the church bulletin gave the description that it ws going to be on 'When to say yes, When to say no'. Not sure wshat to think, but okay. I get there and it is 'Boundaries in Dating'. Great. "Okay God, I don't know what to think. I will stick with it and see where You lead". Little did I know I just played an excercise in faith.
I was getting some stuff from this study, however, weeks into it and I still was a bit uncomfortable. After all, the only date I had ever been on was a blidn date set up by two mutual friends. That night? Just plain awkward! The next couple of weeks, thoughts were flooding my mind.
Doe God truly have someone out there for me?
Why have I had to wait so long (its got me believing I am to remain single)
My desire - God given?
My disability and all it entails - afraid it scares them off.

Here's where it gets interesting...

The group decides that it is better to start at the first book in the 'Boundaries' series (it goes from everyday relationships...family, friends... on up to boundaries with children). Oh My GOODNESS!!! I am lovin it! I am getting so much MORE from this first book - Boundaries - 'When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life'
So far I am learning about breaking free from others control (how am I supppose to learn how to make decisions...even the RIGHT ones, when you are making them FOR me?!), seeking my own identity, and taking control of MY life. For quite a while now I havne't felt like I have had much if any control.

One week I was sitting in class thinking about the transition "okay, why the switch God?" I swear I heard His response in the back of my head say "It got you in here didnt it?" I almost burst out laughing right then and there!

But seriously, now the hardest part is talking to specific people about what I am learning, and praying they receive it well.

Pastor Jim Hicks (CLC) - Too Late is Never Too Late

I didn't make it to church Saturday night, the young woman whom I go with had somewhere else she had to be. I missed service this morning because my aide had overslept her phone is her alarm clock adn she forgot to take it off vibrate). I listened to both messages online, one last night before bed and one this afternoon. Our Saturday night pastor just happened to be speaking in our Sunday morning service as he sometimes does. I had to post this up here as it is another message I want to come back to often. Shoot, I had to listen to this message twice because it was so amazing.


Too Late is Never Too Late ---Pastor Jim Hicks

Too late is never too late even when circumstances aren’t going our way
Luke 8:40
Full of faith and trust in what God is going to do
God transcends time
Expectancy within our hearts for what God can do among us
God stuff some expectation, belief in us
Vs. 41
Desperation = great motivator to take us to God
Vs. 42
How many times have we had something in our head and it didn’t go that way?
Vs. 43
Too late is never too late even when others say it is over/ will never happen
Woman with the flow of blood
“Daughter, your faith has made you well, go in peace”.
Saying all along, “God will work this out”.
What am I telling myself, what am I listening to?
Look at what God has said, not what others have said
“She touched the hem of His garment”
Even when it was over, she believed Him
Vs. 44
She touched (grabbed) a hold of His garment
She had some action to her faith
When we stop believing or acting on what God has put before us, THEN it is over
KEEP GOING TO JESUS!!!
Vs. 45
The source of power – “It is not too late” - is in Jesus Christ
Come with our faith today, “Lord I want to press into you today”
Do what you need to do to press through to Him, no “microwave” prayers
Jesus is that answer
Praying through
Don’t let things destroy me
Vs.47 – 48
“Daughter” Go in peace (rescue, completeness) your faith has healed you
Lord, give me that same kind of faith today!
49 – 56
Too late is never too late even when natural hope is gone
Vs. 49
Our belief will cause us to do crazy things
Pastor Hicks “We will stalk (pursue) our future wife if we believe that is the one we want”
When things are not going well, can we still place ourselves at the mercy and trust of God?
Vs. 50
Jesus - “Do not be afraid any longer. Only believe….”
God, help us to build an atmosphere of faith and an atmosphere of belief no matter what we are facing
Vs. 51
Building an atmosphere of faith
Negative-‘ectomy’ – Jesus took the negative out of the room
Vs. 52
“Stop weeping, she has not died, but is asleep.”
He didn’t let their stuff stop what He wanted to do”
He saw something others didn’t see
Jesus wants to grab whatever is dead in your life and say “Arise!”
Return of the Spirit of God to the vision for what’s ahead
TOO LATE IS NEVER TOO LATE with GOD –Not because of who we are but of who He is
It’s the grace of God that He wants to pour into our lives

Fall Retreat 2007 - What a Rush!

Should I stay or should I go?

Fall retreat was this past weekend. And because of a lot of hubbub going on with me lately, I needed a touch from God. Parents encouraged me to go. I knew I had the money, but I wasnt sure where it would leave me for other things that might come up. Luckily, I got shopping done soon after I paid for the trip. Sorry to Ohiodawa for the confusion. I had decided a while ago that I wasnt going because of $$(drives my parents nuts) and so she was going to go home that weekend. I guess I didnt say anything when I changed my mind. That's what I get for thinking about talking to her for so long, at one point I thought I had!

The speaker was Jenny McJunkin and she spoke on the topic of Singleness. I had no idea when I first signed up who the speaker was nor the topic of the weekend. I could have been the only one in the room she was speaking to. Each session, Friday night, Saturday morning/evening, and Sunday morning - spoke volumes to me where as it is usually one session where God hits me big. But this time, it rocked all the way through!

The Four Sessions included Intimacy with God, Developing Strong Relationships, Character, and Find the Right One to Marry - this fourth one was kept secret until the start of that session.

Intimacy with God
Song - I have a Maker. Something about the words just really struck me this weekend. I often worry about things even when I know I don't need to. God knows every intimate detail about my life and its goings-on. I just have to remind myself of that. It goes along with another point in her sermon - "Listen to God and all else will fall into place." Eeghad, why do I worry about my life being boring!? So far, it's been anything but!

Singleness, both a gift and a blessing.
I had to repent and ask forgiveness for not seeing it that way.

Dates with God and God wants to fill the lonely ache with more of Him.
Hmmm, dating God. A new way of looking at spending time with Him. I am terrible (it seems to me anyway) at getting quality alone time with Him. But I like the idea of at least getting one day out of every week to really get to know Him. I will continue to get alone wth Him daily, but make it a point of gettign together on one particular day (other than Sunday, as I already look forward with great anticipation as to what He will do in church).

Develop healthy relationships/friendships
God has given me this season for many reasons. One of them for growing and developing frioendships. As much as I enjoy the people around me, I look forward to new friendships that may come along (where are all the thrity-somethings in our church!). God has even challenged me to deepen the friendships that I already have. Even if it means contacting them by phone once a week. Right now, it's just sporatic. Even being more purposeful in conversations.
Isaiah 54: Seeing God as My Husband
For right now, until and even into the season that God brings me a mate, I shall concentrate on making friendships a proiority by initiating regular contact - talking on the phone more, sending an e-mail, etc. I need to work on this. Especially in the area of listening. Of course it is hard to do with friends who don't say much. I must get creative in my interactions because as I have learned this weekend "as we love on others, our selfishness decreases". ME - "Lord, teach me to become selfless".

Can't remember her name
speakers mother
praying for me numerous times
healing of the SB and supernatueral dreams
"Healing is ongoing, miracles are instant"

Character Development
God was really talking to me through worship.'Never underestimate my Jesus' was playing during discussion question time when I hear His sweet Spirit saying to me
"My Daughter, you are Mine and I love you!"
With the speakers message on chracter came 'preparation for marriage'. I have struggled to ask God about my future in this area. Afraid tho hear the word 'no' I guess. And if I had it my way, I would have been married with kids long ago. Can't quite understand why its taken so long, but then again I couldnt understand why He had me in college for thirteen years! (well, eleven if you dont count the 1 1/2 years out of college due to health issues).
Stop looking and start becoming. This statement had a huge impact on me. I have been so busy wondering if so and so could be it, I have completely forgotten about preparation! Another huge one for me this weekend was when she mentioned getting distracted by outward appearance (mine and his). Developing my character and looking for someone with character need to be more of a focus than looks. How am I supposed to attract someone with good character if I don't work on my own (not that I am saying anything bad about mine). A point I need to remind myself over and over again..., a man will Not solve all my problems. Only God is big enough to do that dirty work.

Find the right one to marry 8OD
This was the one that Jenny held back from mentioning at the beginning of the retreat, and for good reason.
God is pro-marriage
He may be holdign it from me for good reasons( like AC told me at a bible study last year "He wants to keep me all to Himself." This statement has messed with me since.
We are praying God's will when praying to find a spouse
many time s I tried to pray, and many times I got discouraged, thinking "maybe He doesn't have this for me"
We do our part, God does His
AS long as I am living for God and accomplishing what He has called me to do (preschoolers, YEAH!!!) He will do His part and draw us to eachother (He may not just have one perfect person, but there may be more than one that I may choose from and still be in His will.)
How to Find the Right One
Make yourself attractive
Spiritual Development - working on the inside of me; strengthening my walk with the Lord. Concentrating more on being (becoming) the ideal person, and not so much on finding the person.
Dont let your appearance limit you*****
how you believe is how others see you
What am I subconciously projecting
Change your mentality!!!
I have struggled in the past (and sometimes still struggle today) with my appearance. God has had to work on me royally in this area of my life. Slowly, He is changing the opinion of myself, and makign me believe that once can look past the outer appearance adn love me for who I am inside (I think I feel a Disney song comeing on)
Jer. 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future
Allow God to be creative
Oh how I dream of the day. But of course I know my imagination is limited, and God could cause it to happen unlike any dream I have ever had...or could have. But I still go on dreaming.
Trust God's Timing*****
Don't get discouraged
These two go hand in hand for me. As mucbh as I would love it to happen yesterday, I feel I am to focus on my career for right now...at least finding the ideal job. Can I handle marriage and career? I am sure willing to give it all I got to try, even with my dream of adoption. As far as discouragement goes, when you've seen countless friends getting hitched, married and then having kids, and they are all younger than you...It's hard not to become discouraged. In my mind my dreams should have happened by now.

For a week after the retreat, and even as I write this (as I have been working on it for at least two!) God was still moving through what was spoken that weekend.
Please check my flickr page often as I am still needing to post a few pictures.

Oh God is SO GOOD!

Daughter Thinks of Others

NOW DEAR beloved Santa Claus, please listen to my prayer. If near my home on Christmas Eve, leave just one present there. It isn’t for myself I ask, but only for another; Please leave a handsome son-in-law…for Daddy and for Mother.

(Another one from the December Laughletter Newsletter)

Pondering Contentment II

In the midst of writing the post "Pondering Contentment", I started to think about the meaning of contentment, what the dictionary said versus what the Bible said. Since I was too lazy to wheel across my bedroom to my bookshelf, I looked at dictionary.com

Desiring no more than what one has; satisfied.
A source of satisfaction
happiness with one's situation in life
fulfillment
satisfaction
comfort

I was surprised to see scripture later in the page accompanying more definitions in the online dictionary ( I looked these scriptures up too)

a state of mind in which one's desires are confined to his lot whatever it maybe(1 Tim. 6:6&8; 2 Cor. 9:8).
It is opposed to envy (James 3:16),
avarice(Heb.13:5),
ambition (Prov. 13:10),
anxiety (Matt. 6:25, 34), and repining(1 Cor.10:10).
It arises from the inward disposition, and is the offspring of humility, and of an intelligent consideration of the rectitude and benignity of divine providence (Ps. 96:1, 2; 145),
the greatness of thedivine promises (2Pet. 1:4),
and our own unworthiness (Gen. 32:10);
as well as from the view the gospel opens up to us of rest and peace hereafter (Rom.5:2). Phil 4:4, 11 -13

It taught me a lot about our needs versus our desires. God may not always meet my wants, but He will always meet my needs. Lately I have been praying about what God would desire me to have. I read somewhere to throw away my list of desired traits in a man and to trust God in giving me exactly what I need. Self-seeking attitudes only lead to confusion.

A Quote from Elizabeth Elliot's Passion & Purity
A good and perfect gift these natural desires, but so much the more necessary that they be restrained, controlled, corrected, even crucified that they might be reborn in power and purity for God.

A statement from Ron Hutchcraft ministries says “We're lonely for God. Because of our sin we're away from the one who alone can fill the spiritual hole in our heart. That's why no earth relationship has ever been enough.” I find that on the days I neglect to get into His Word, I feel a loneliness creeping up inside me.

Speaking of relationship ever being enough, that is one of my fears is that when I do finally marry, will I still have this intense desire for something greater.

I am learning that being content is a choice we make, we can pray for God to help us choose contentment, but the ultimate decision to be content is ours. For so long I was afraid to be content. I had feelings that if I was content, I would never be with someone. I once prayed for these desires to be taken away, if they were indeed of the flesh and not from God. They only grew in intensity. Which grew confusing until I heard that God had given these feelings to me and I needed to give them back to Him to see what He would do with them. (Lord, use them for Your glory!)

If being satisfied is what God wants, then my prayer is for contentment. After all, it may only be for a time. But what if it is for eternity? I pray the Lord's coming be soon! But for now, I will go on living as though God were my husband.

Can I be content? Philippians 4:13 says I can

Pondering Contentment

I guess this whole idea of contentment has been stirring in me for weeks. What is it? What does it mean? Why am I so scared to be content in areas of my life?
Growing up, materialism ruled in my life bigtime. I loved the stuff I had, but wasn't satisfied with it, I wanted more. I grew up in a family who had a lot of stuff and every time I turned around, we were selling it or buying it. Today however, that has since changed in me. Now I look around at my stuff and think to myself, "Now, what can I get rid of/live without?" !
Contentment. Oh how it used to scare me to pray for it. It scared me to be content with my singleness. If I was content, would that mean God would never let me be with "the one"? Does he even have one picked out for me? I was made fun of, picked on so much as a kid, the way I looked, walked... I believe that is what sparks the latter questions. I have a hard time believing it when people tell me He does have someone in mind for me.
I made a mention of my singleness in a previous post and received a reply from a friend who made such comments as "God said we aren't ripe yet" and "just waiting for Him to pick us like some fat cantaloupe." the phrase "fat cantaloupe" made me crack up laughing for some reason.
I read books by Elizabeth Elliot and Joshua Harris. Books on dating to me were the closest thing I had to dating, and I read them, and read them, and read them whenever I felt the longing inside me. Today, I reach for my Bible. Joshua Harris's book only made me smarter in the choices I make for what I wanted in a relationship. Going from "don't care if he's a Christian or not", to "being a Christian is the only requirement", to still even "okay, a few things in common is good enough", even now reading all that God would have us require in a future spouse and not knowing what I want because what I used to want doesn't even seem to matter anymore. I never did want someone who used a wheelchair like I do. God knows I fell for someone like that at one time. But he responded to a friend of mine (right in front of me!) "she's funny, but..." and didn't bother to finish the sentence. (Ouch!) I wanted him to be my date for the senior prom, though he went to a different school. He supposedly was taking another girl to her prom that night. That was the first and last time I ever had the nerve to do the asking.
I hear of people getting exactly what they want in their spouse and people saying to ask for these specific things and God will give it down to the last detail, I just wish I had the faith to believe that right now. I often hear people telling singles "Don't settle".
I can identify with some of El Blogo De Lafalda's blogpost 'Pondering loneliness' and her questions "what is this thing? Why does it hurt so deeply? What is its purpose? Is it simply a means to make us seek God? ...How can I be surrounded by the best friends in the world and still feel so alone?" and one of my own "What is God's purpose in allowing us to walk through it?"
Living in the Chi Alpha house was amazing the first year. I lay in bed after the night's house meeting thanking God for getting me involved, and for each person that lived here. Then, I was in attendance for the weddings of two now former roomies and got to thinking-"will I ever..." , secretly hoping my living in community wouldn't last for long. But at the same time, not wanting Chi Alpha to lose the house because mom and dad said that if I ever moved out, it would be sold.

Speaking of weddings, I can't help but sit through a wedding and daydream of my own. I once had a file on my computer that listed ideas for an ideal wedding, but erased it for some reason I still don't understand. Maybe it was a God thing.
Tired of this longing in me, I have asked God on numerous occasions to take it away yet only for it to grow stronger.
I have been praying into a prophecy spoken over me a few years ago. I was at a Chi Alpha retreat and a young girl in our fellowship had planned for the speaker we were to have. The speaker is a good friend of her family's and was gifted in prophecy. "Don't be afraid to love" was just one of the statements she made to me. The statement left me wondering, "what does this mean!?"

And no, I didn't write this all in one day.