It's A Rollercoaster Ride of Life......and it's all so surreal

I am moving back to Montana after leaving for three years. It all seems so surreal. "Nobody pinch me, I don't want to wake up!" (It's been a deram of mine for as long as I can rememeber to live in horse country, with other animals)

I haven't been able to secure employment. Gastro-intestinal migraines get in the way, excuses about my having a servicedog also leave me discouraged. Qualifications too! Believing He has anything for me is difficult, I sit here ......wondering.

Nothing about being back in So. Cal. makes any sense. I can't even find work here, all for the same reasons. My best friend and I aren't even as close as we used to be. Fifteen years has taken it's toll.

Then one day my dad decides that he wants to move back to Montana. THAT didn't even make any sense to me (as excited as I was about the prospect). "We'll probably be back in two or three years", was my thinking. I just want to feel planted somewhere. I am getting to the point that moving is become very old. I am done! All my friends are scattered across the U.S. As I type this, dad is in Montana looking at property. He's found a few places that look promising.

This past Sunday mom and I were in adult Sundayschool. It was a guest speaker who came and gave a message, and sharing about his missionary endeavors (to where, I now forget). It was powerful! Both mom and I were feeling confirmation about this move to Montana. The fact that we were both feeling it made it all that more exciting, more real! "That's What Faith Can Do' by Kutless plays on the radio as I type this. Haha, and now, "My Hope Is In You", by Aaron Shust. I just looked at the sermon archives for our church, the past Sunday's sermon ~ 'Hearing the Voice of God'. I will have to listen later.

But back to Sundayschool....... ~
"Being Friends with God"

*Hebrews 11:8-11
John 15:13-16

Hebrews 11 `faith of Abraham'
John 15....greater love hath no man than this, that he lay downb his life for his friends.

Abrahams actions
He obeyed (vs. 8)
He enaabled (vs. 11)
He trusted (vs 17)

His thought process (Faith)
*He looked forward (vs. 10)
He considered God's faithfulness (vs. 11)
*He reasoned that God could (vs. 19)

Obedience based of faith
no leap in the dark
Romans 10:17
Abraham heard God's messsage
Genesis 12:1.7,8,
13:3
Ch.'s 14, 15, 17, 18, 19, 20
*** God's Communication: Faith = Relationship
Not DOING but BEING
James 2:23
God saves through His provision
*****Faith ~ Personal application of God's provision to my heart
Obedience ~ loving response
= TRUE RELATIONSHIP

JOHN 15
vs. 1-9 Branches (fruitfulness)
9-17 Fellowship
18-27 Faithful

branches - purpose
friends - priveledge

John 15:13-15
Jesus calls us to be His friend
I am not His 'slave' but His 'friend'.
Angels - servants
WE are his friends

***Genesis 18:17
confidence regarding God's plan
servant - what
friend - why

Psalm 25:14
relationship

Psalm 103:7
servants, yes
friends, yes

John 13, 14
comforter, Holy Spirit

Luke 11:5-8
Prayer = fellowship with God
??? Am I available to Him when He calls ???

Friend = priveledge

Ephesians 3:17-19
God is at home in your hearts as you trust Him
His power working in us





"Saddle up Your Horses....We've got a trail to blaze......" ~SCC (email from friend Patti Allen.

Headaches and Nausea : Surprising Turn of Events

Well glory hallelujah and praise the Lord, the two doctors actually talked! I never thought that it could happen, but it did. And I was the one to bring up to the neurosurgeon here in S.D. the possibility of my stomach causing the headaches. Ha!

I awoke with yet another headache, nausea, vomiting episode one morning, and frankly, had had ENOUGH already! After having an amazing time with the ‘Elevate’ children, I just wanted to bag that day and request a repeat of Sunday. A friend left a comment on my status about ‘seeking a new adventure’. Forty minutes later I received the phone call from my neurosurgeon here in San Diego saying he talked to the one in Montana (and we had to beg).

My first appointment since the two doctors talked, they called it 'gastrointestinal migraines'. In the past, stomach medication really didnt do anything for me and migraine medication did nothing or exasperated the problem, sometimes helpign for only a short period of time before quitting.

My biggest fear now; when is the medication going to stop working, since so many have in the past. Holding on to faith that it won't. Hard

Be Still (*sigh*)

"Be still and know that I am God"
~Psalm 46:10

ANOTHER appointment with my neuro-surgeon on Monday. Hmph! Not like it's going to reveal anything (please excuse my cynicism).

Headaches, nausea, vomiting. This is what I have dealt with since early teens. Surgery, medications, different pillows, c-pap, elevating the head of the bed. I've tried it. Sure, it works for a little while. Short term solutions.
Over the years I've been steadily losing hope the doctors will ever find a permanent solution.

Upon reading the above verse, a still small voice inside of me promted me to do a search on the phrase "be still"
Exodus 14:14
The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Mark 4:39
He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

Lord, calm this storm inside!

Psalm 83:1 (NKJV)
[ A Song. A Psalm of Asaph. ] Do not keep silent, O God!Do not hold Your peace, And do not be still, O God!
(All I seem to be getting from Him on this particular situation, silence. Lord, what is the lesson here?)



TODAY's DEVOTIONAL
"Be Still" I hear Him softly say
"Be still, lay all aside" (time out!)
He who made the universe stoops down
and gathers up my cares
(I am definately weary.....more like, DONE! Eleven years of college, it oud be nice to use it. To not depend so much on SSI.
"Be still" He chides again
His work begins within my weary soul
"Be patient. In quiet stay.
Listen to me" (Lord, I am listening!....or am I?)

Though pressed on every side
I clear my heart and mind
In timid voice and heart
I lift to Him my praise

How quiet His presence
How healing His words
In hushed awe, I listen
I savor each one

My will He bends (RA's Take My Will)
My heart He sweeps clean
My strength He renews My soul He fills to overflowing (PROMISE)

He teaches through His Word
I heed what He tells me
I stand and give Him praise
Together we go forth to serve

Experiencing Gods Best for Our Lives

Experiencing Gods Best For Our Lives
April 3, 2011
Dr. David Jeremiah
Hebrews 4:1 – 13

Blood on the Lintel and doorposts (picture of the cross)
Application of ch. 4 ~ Those who found Christ (followers) and are now leaving Egypt and onto Gods best for them. From Egypt to that place is through the wilderness
This world is not our home; we are pilgrims and strangers in this land.
God wants us to experience His best today and when we get to Heaven
Enter into His blessing

I. The experiences on the road to the Promised Land - Hebrews 4:1-3

A. The experience of fear - Hebrews 4:1; II Timothy 1:7; Romans 8:15;
Psalm 111:10; Deuteronomy 12:9*
365 Fear Not’s in the Bible
We are told to fear – Godly fear required of Gods people,
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (awe) Psalm 111:10
Believe, and experience Gods best for our lives
(I want to experience Gods best for my life)
Am I missing something? Am I missing Gods best for my life?
God wants us to discover His plan for our lives

REST
Gods Rest is Gods BEST for you and for me (Gods plan for our lives)
God wants us to discover His plan for our lives
In sync with Him
Stress, anxiety, human fear gone
Ch 4 - Enter ~ mentioned five times
(God, what are you up to?)
Call to action
Enter into Gods best for our lives
Failure to enter into all God has for them is regrettable, but not serious (some believe)
But not trusting God is something to fear
Losing heart in our Christian Experience
Going on toward God with His plan in our lives
Don’t be satisfied that you’re just a Christian
Quest for Gods best

B. The experience of failure - Hebrews 4:2; Numbers 14:7-8
Gospel – Good News
(normally death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ)
two witnesses went into Canaan to spy it out for Gods people, so they could enter into Gods best for them
Gospel mixed with FAITH, its not enough just to read it
Enter into the blessings God has for us His children
Faith – Trust without reservation, not belief without proof

C. The experience of faith(trust) - Hebrews 4:3
Believe God, trust Him, and accept He has a plan for your life
Some of us do a lot better with eternity than we do tomorrow
If God is worthy of your trust for eternity, He is worthy of your trust for tomorrow
Ask Him to help you get to His best for your life

II. The examples of the “rest” of the Promised Land - Hebrews 4:4-11

A. The example of creation rest - Hebrews 4:4-5
Seventh day -Sabbath (5pm Saturday)
Jewish people turned it into a burden
God wanted US to have a rest
The blessing of rest (His rest, His best)
Instructions for entering into rest

B. The example of Canaan rest - Hebrews 4:6-7
God wanted his people to have when they went to the edge of the Promised Land
Why should they have believed that
God promised it to them!
Tjeyy walked to the edge, and stopped believing the promises
Belief / Obedience

C. The example of Calvary rest - Hebrews 4:8-13; John 19:30;
Matthew 11:28-30
God wanted Israel to enjoy His very best He had set up for them. They missed it because they didn’t believe
Caleb took his mountain for God
David
Solomon
The rest still remains for us
Don’t be satisfied with just getting out of Egypt
III. The examination of the residents of the Promised Land - Hebrews 4:12-13
How do I know if I am going in the right direction, genuinely, with right motives?

A. Examined by the Word of God - Hebrews 4:12
Vs. 12
Read the Bible
Discern,
the word of God will be a critic of your life
GPS system for my life, the Word of God

B. Examined by the God of the Word - Hebrews 4:13

God sees our lives
Vs. 13 We have the God of the Word to help us to understand where we are
You can’t fool God
Nothing is hidden from Him
Journey from salvation to Gods best for my life
I have to enter into Gods best for my life
Saved in order that we might serve
Eph. 2:10
We are saved FOR good works
(Lord, what are the good works you have for me to do)
Find out how I can get to Gods best for my life

Reflect on what God has saved me from

So thankful to be alive, show me how I can help (serve You)

Discover what God wants

Fearfully enter into Gods plan for my life

His rest is His best
“Lord, whatever you want, whatever you have for me”

Hebrews ~ Going on with God
God has so much more for us than we could ever dream
(I have had feelings of “this is it, there’s nothing more”)

( In Prayer: He has so much more for us to know than we take time to learn)

Matthew West 'Story of Your Life' Tour w/ Special Guests Josh Wilson and Richard Andrew

"Is this the end, or only the beginning"........ MW, Story of Your Life

The Rivers Edge church, Rancho Cucamonga, CA

I was listening to 89.7 KSGN online one afternoon when I heard Matthew West was doing his 'Story of Your Life' tour (his first stop on the tour!) and making his one and only Southern California stop in Rancho Cucamonga.- Christian recording artist Richard Andrew ,who is worship leader at that church and whom I got to know two years ago, was opening. I thought of how cool it would be to be there but because of the drive and the time it was supposed to start and end, didn't think it was going to be possible. But I prayed anyway.......and God answered!
I purchased tickets online two or three weeks in advance. For weeks I was practically bouncing off the walls (my roommate can attest to that), so excited to get to worship with Richard for the third time. And it would be my second time seeing Matthew West in concert (first time seeing Josh Wilson). When purchasing the tickets, I made a mistake in typing my address and immediately sent an e-mail to the ticket agency. So when I thought they should have been here, they weren't. I panicked, but I did have a receipt I printed on my computer (right b4 my printer died, ha!). That same day I received a phonecall from an itickets.com representative saying my ticket bounced back to them and they would have it for me at willcall. (WHEW!)

What a night He (God) had planned for me!

The two hour drive was excruciating, I don't know how I survived. I could not wait (my dad was jokingly poking fun of my excitement the whole time, the turd! He's lucky I wasnt siting close enough to smack him ;). I feared the seating arrangements. Would their wheelchair seating be waaaaay in the back? If I sat front row, would I be able to understand what was being sung? Most concerts the intruments are wicked loud, and their wheelchair seating (or is it my vision? ha) makes the artists look an inch tall and three miles away. I was saved a seat in the front =) where RE staff led me right to the spot when I got there. I inquired of earplugs, and someone went and got me a pair! Crazy thing was I hardly had to use them. But by the last three songs, even with them in it was hard to hear/understand the words. My ears were STILL ringing! But it was SOOO totally worth it!!!!!!!
I thought I was going to get to sit with RA and his wife Shawn (now worries you two!), and was sad I never did see another RA fan that friended me on FB. Didnt know the people I was sitting around. Somehow, that didn't matter to me. I became lost in the music and stories of the evening.
Richard Andrew opened the evening with three of his songs (too short if you ask me, Haha!).
Take My Will ~ "Take my will, make it Your own. I'm on my knees letting go. Seeking more of You, finding less of me and now I'm free. Take my will, let Your kingdom come, let Your will be done".
Wave A Hand ~ I waved both hands in the air, and got so into it I just about 'wave'd myself right out of my powerchair! I hope nobody noticed (:sheepish grin:)
None Compare ~ My all time fave since the very first time I hear it! I was trying to close my eyes in worship, but at the same time didn't want to take my eyes off of the stage.

Josh Wilson was second to perform. I had heard one or more of his songs before, but tonight his music was better than I remember. Ha, thre's somethignh to be said about hearign live performances of your favorite songs. Wow. Unlike Richard Andrew and Matthew West, it was just Josh Wilson with a band loop pedal.

Shine On Us
Before The Morning
Savior Please
Always Only You
I Refuse
Amazing Grace (Instrumental, with the band loop pedal, which was AWESOME!)

In his introduction, Matthew West mentioned that this was his first stop on the "Stories" tour, as well as the ONLY So. Cal. stop. COOL! That just made it even more memorable. During his portion of the concert (he just happened to be the last one to play), between songs he played portions of his DVD. (I have watched it two or three times since that night).

Nearly every one of his songs had something that spoke to me

Strong Enough ~

"You must think I'm strong, to give me what I'm going through"

~
The Lord doesnt put anything on us that He doesnt think we can handle. (I often wish the Lord wouldnt think ME so strong, haha.)
~ Phil 4:13 (=D) Just happens to be my favorite verse of all time!
My move out of Montana, health issues, job woes.....all caused me to lose sight of the 'Bigger Picture'.
( Negative "What if"'s....... "Lord, give me a new perspective"
Am I going to decide my life is going to stink from here on out? THIS comment in his video totally and completely hit home for me. This thought is what I've been struggling with since leaving Montana)

Family Tree ~ I have Christs legacy

To Me ~(pain of school)
I was made fun of a lot in school, because of the way I looked, how I walked (or didn't walk). I missed a lot of school growing up even into college because of surgery, doctor appointments, and now these headaches and nausea.

"There are two kinds of people in this world; dream crushers 'Your not able to do it' and dream makers ~ 'Well, you know what? I'm going to do it anyway!'.
I was told I would never live past the age of two. I am now in my my mid-thirties. I was told I would never walk. I did...., but not until I was almost two. I was told I was not cut out for college. I graduated after eleven years earning BOTH an Associate's AND a Bachelors degree. I wheeled on stage to accept my diploma, and as I wheeled off I lifted my eyes and hands to Heaven praising God, knowing it was by His amazing grace that afforded me such an accomplishment.

I lost my digital camera right before the concert , Oh not good!! Mom and dad said they would let me borrow theirs. Last minute I just happened to be looking for something in my purse and lo and behold, THERE it was at the bottom!!! Cool! I was able to take lots of pictures. (Sadly, only a few really turend out. My best picture......one taken with Matthew West.

One Less ~ made me think about my dream for adoption

Your A Survivor ~ Rocked out to this one, about fell outta the chair! (Ohoh oh's)
Told not to try anymore ("Not cut out for college")
Rom 8:37 ~ ...in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.

Innocence ~ "Love (God) sees perfection"
"Grace can take a broken girl and put her back together"
****God is not done with you yet

The Reason

"Maybe the reason for the pain is so that we would pray for strength. Maybe the reason for the strength is so that we would not lose hope, and maybe the reason for the hope is so that we could face the world and the reason for the world is to make us long for ho-o-o-ome."

The Healing Has Begun
Mercy remebers your name
The tears you hold back, let them fall like rain

The Motions~ (I made this my prayer the first time I heard this song, even more so that night)

"I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything?
Instead of going through the motions

"

In the video, Mattthew West holds up a whiteboard (he had surgery on his throat) ----"the value of this season will no doubt be priceless
God has something to say. To us and through us"

TAKE ME ALL THE WAAAAAAYYY!!!!! (from his song 'The Motions')

Since the concert was late in the evening, and it would be a two hour drive home, we opted to stay in a hotel and drive back in the morning (Mom and dad had a date night while I went to the concert). The concert ended and I was exhausted. But did I WANT to leave?! HA! No. I lingered for as long as I could. ANd I had to hang with Richard once more :D
FINALLY!!! I have an 'RA' t-shirt! Do I get one exactly like my mother's (great story behind how I received that one, I'll never forger 'Tuna and Rice'.)? Or do I check out his different styles? Oh too many choices, I could go for one of each! But sadly, the womens styles didnt fit :'( Too small (crazy to say for this small frame I know!) One shirt stuck out to me. 'Breath = Praise' The Lord seemed to speak as I read those words ~ "As long as I have breath, I have reason to praise Him." Even in light of whatever excruciating circumstances I find myself in.
I showed RA the t-shirt I bought (breath = praise) and he explained it was taken from Psalm 150 verse 6, "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord". The "ra" in 'praise' sports his initials with a circle around it.
Did I sleep once I got to the hotel? Heck no! I was too wound up, and had the evenings songs running through my head most of the night.
The devil had me convinced life was over once I left Montana. God seemed to show me tonight He still wasn't done with me yet.

"This is the joy, this is the pain, and all the pages in between. Your finest hour, your weakest moment is where you've been, where you are, is where you're going".

~ MW, Story of Your Life

KSGN's Making A Difference Tour

KSGN - Making a Difference Tour
Richard Andrew, Jadon Lavik, Raymond Gregory
Harvest Christian Fellowship --- Riverside, California

I was hoping to attend in person and was going to, even invited to sit front row until mom and dad had to go out of town on business. Drats. I was gonna get a t-shirt from Richard and have both my mom and I wear them together that night. I invited people to go too, and prayed about certain people going. But watched it online instead, and believe I had almost as much fun.

Raymond Gregory
Although his first song I wasn't crazy about his style or his voice, he even seemed a bit uncomfortable at first, by the second or third song I was really enjoying his music and he seemed to loosen up quite a bit. What a great sense of humor too, even in his music!
"As long as Your on my side, I'll be wealthy" ~ A song lyric of his that really jumped out at me tonight. And when I first heard 'Happily Married' on the radio, I will confess it wasn't a song I particularly cared for, only because I am not (yet, I hope? Hint hint Lord???) But for some reason, tonight it had a different feel, and I responded differently to it. I dunno, can't explain really.

Richard Andrew
Now *here's* the reason I watched tonight, and frankly I couldn't wait! Oh yeah, I coulda watched him aaaaallll night! I made a comment on the tour site about three o'clock this afternoon, going crazy because it was still four hours away! HaHA!
I had to laugh at myself really, I saw Richard up on stage getting ready to sing right after someone got up and said a few words, and I became r-e-a-l-l-y excited "There he is, there he is!" I'm such a nut!
"Knocking On Heaven's Door". God's telling me regarding my future and the plans that He has for me, "keep on asking, Keep on seeking, KEEP on knocking, whatever you do , don't give up!".
As he is singing an acoustic version "None Compare", my all-time FAVORITE song of his, he shares with the audience (I'm sure those online as well as in person) that God was speaking to someone. "He can see you in the valley, He can hear you call His name" Don't know if that was meant just for me, hope someone else got it too, but it still made me smile.
His drummer sure looked like he was having a blast! That was awesome to see! I know I was. I was trying to recline in my power chair while watching but it didn't work. I was sitting up in my chair having a grand ol' time, dancing and waving to his song 'Wave a Hand'. "I'm no longer the man I used to be. Thank God almighty I'm free at last I'm free......!"
I did not want his set to end!!! I secretly hoped he would even sing a new song, but was thankful for what he did sing tonight.I even sang along, I believe to all of them!

Greg Laurie, pastor of Harvest Christian Fellowship got up and gave a brief word just before Jadon Lavik was up to sing. Pastor Laurie spoke about the woman at the well. I have heard so many pastors preach on this. The one line I really remember and that spoke to me was "Jesus didn't point a finger at her failings."

Jadon Lavik
I am a new fan of Jadon Lavik. His music was crazy good! A little country, a little rock...... My most favorite song was "What If". Again, God really got me here. , something he's been speaking to me lately "I couldn't love you any more or less than I do". Other lines in his music that stuck out to me - "I surrender it all to you" and a line from his song 'I Just Want to Praise You' ~ "Daily I'm forgiven, daily I'm renewed"

I still can't believe, watching it online I still had that much fun. I still acted as though I was there in person, even though I was at home, in my room.

It's Tough Being A Woman.....week 6

Just to know we are significant to God and He's willing to orchestrate a holy set-up to speak to us is monumental to every woman who ever feared she was invisible or unremarkable.

If our ears were opened to hear them, the sounds of angelic activity would be deafening

All sorts of things are happening in the Heavenlies around us

Esther ch. 6 - the Jews in Susa, terrified and far from the temple, had no idea how close God was

Sometimes Christ walks through our crisis dressed in the best disguise of all: ordinary events. He tucks a miracle in the fold of his robe and sweeps in and out unnoticed. Only in retrospect do we realize that a divine visitation graced our cold, crude winter and the ressurection of spring is on it's way.

Oh for the wosdom of God to know that if the answer comes to early, we'd miss His greatest act.

Sometimes, when God takes our sleep, He simply has something to say

God desires my company

Just to know we are significant to Him and He's willing to orchestrate a holy set-up to speak to us is monumental

God is deeply attentive to our most secret hurts, concerns and hopes

When the God of all creation reserves a remark for you, Beloved, that's all you need to be remarkable

We, like Haman, might be to self-absorbed and self-convinced to realize that we've become someone we can't stand

If we have a heart for Christ and an authentic desire to pursue godliness, lessons like these become protection as much as conviction

Luke 19:38 - a kingship conferred by God alone

Gen. 2:9...becoming fixated on the one thing they couldn't have, cheating themselves out of the goodness and creativity God offered

Glance over at your Bible. Think what you've been through with God in those pages. Think of the hope, guidance, assurance, and affection you've sought. Think how thankful you are that God wrote something you can hold to your chest, rocking back and forth, when your heart is shattered and your sight too bluured to read

We learn from scripture as much as what we don't want to be as what we do

haman was suffering from a case of mistaken identity

Prov. 18:6,7

Pride is a state of the heart that, sooner or later, is betrayed by the mouth
(Matt. 12:34)God created man with an undeniuable heart-mouth connection. .....what's in the heart will inevitably come out the mouth

In His grace, however, God always provides a way of escape

We might glean several things from Mordecai's example. If we get overlooked for affirmation or promotion, so be it. Let's just do our job. If we get elevated and celebrated, so be it. Let's just do our jobs. Let's pursue a walk with God so close that the spotlights of this world - be they for us or against us - are eclipsed by His enormous shadow cast on our path

...free to be neither depressed nor impressed with the capricious reactions of this carnal world.

Luke 19:30-38
a kingship fonferred by God alone

...goodness and creativity God offered

The Bible....Think of what you've with God in those pages. Think of the hope, guidance, assurance and affection you've sought. Think hosw thankful you are that God wrote something you can hold to your chest, rocking back and forth when your heart is shattered and your sight too blurred to read.

We learn as much from Scripture about what we don't want to be as what we do.

Haman was suffering from a chronic case of mistaken identity.

Prov. 18:6 - 7

Pride is a state of the heart that, sooner or later, is betrayed by the mouth. Matt. 12:34 "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks"God created man with an undeniable heart-mouth connection.

In His grace, however, God always provides a way of escape

We might glean a few things from Mordecai's example. If we get overlooked for affirmation or promotion, so be it. Do your job. If w get elevated and celebrated, then so bie it. Let's just do our jobs. Let's pursue a walk with God so close that the spotlight of this world- be they for us or against us - are eclipsed by His enormous shadow cast on our path.

....free to be neither depressed nor inpressed with the capricious reaction of this carnal world.

We can find our signifigance and satisfaction in the shelter of the Most High.

Lee Sizemore produced ovrt 100 (biblestudy) series and with numerous authors. Without exaggeration, God used one individual to alter the entire landscape of Christian discipleship as we know it. And here's the catch. He did it all from a wheelchair. He'd been all over the world in that crazy chair to tape Biblestudies.
He poured himself out like a drink offering , often amid physical discomfort and pain - so that peoplecould learn how to know Christ through Gods Word.

Sometimes we wait and wait for God to move, then when He does, we protest that He is moving too fast. Our cries "Lord, why do You wait?" turn into "Lord, wait!"

The Rivers Edge........Part 2

'All God's promises are "Yes!" and "Amen!" All God's promises are true'......okay, we didn't exactly sing this song on Sunday, but it is stuck in my head as I type this.
Gods promises, the phrase has been haunting me for quite some time. What are they? What are they for me, specifically? Sunday's sermon just happened to be a confimatoin that God knows whats going on in this big head of mine, and I believe it's just the beginning.

Come into the presence of God with a willing heart, and receive what He has for you that day

Heirs to the Promise

Believe what God says about you and the promises that God has made to you
A promise made gives hope, confidence, an expectation of the fulfillment of that promise in your life
When God makes a prommise, there is nothing in Heaven or on earth that can ever come up that God says He cannot keep that promise. Hope and expectancy God will do what He says He is going to do!
He cannot force you to believe Him
You must first believe that His promises are for you in order to walk in them with hope, confidence, and expectancy
Galatians 3:6-9
Abraham - father of faith, believed God and took God at His word
Even when it did not make sense in the natural, even when it was uncomfortable, and even when it wasn't very popular.
"I'm gonna believe You God".
Genesis 22:15-18
Abraham and Issac
(my leaving Montana for California?)
God - "Give it to me, see what I can do in you". (my dreams for the future)
Sometimes the most valuable things is what's holding us back from the promises of God being released in our lives.
Abraham said 'Yes" to God
trusted God with everything he had

Romans 4:20-21

(obedience)
.....that what He had promised, He was also able to perform
God promised certain events would happen in the future. Abraham simply believed God
hugest obstacles of our life believe God for what He will say and will do
Holy Spirit = Promise keeper, Promise Helper
Gal. 3:16 - To Abraham and his seed (us, the body of Christ) were the pronmises made.
(Abrahamic Promises)
These promises were not in the natural
made to those who would put their trust in Christ
We have the promise of Abraham if we put our trust in Christ
Galatians 3:13-14 (Faith)
Christ came to not only save us fromredeem somethign but to giove us somethign as well
If we were just saved, that is something to rejoice about, if we were just redeemed that is something to get excited about
There are some promises that He has layed out in my life, that if I would just grab hold of those promises and begin to walk in the confidence, hope,and expectancy that He can do what He says He can do in my life......
*** God ~ "Watch how I'll build you to be used in God's kingdom"
Crazy enough to believe God....Do what He says, leave the results up to God
God loves that kind of heart
Galatians 4:1-8
Holy Spirit -Helps me to fulfill all God has called me to do
No limits in my life
Do it His way
view yourself properly
live your life out in that manner, as a child of God
Gal. 4:1
I can get stuck walking and talking like a slave
Living as a child of promise
Grace - Gods sovereign divine abiltiy to get the job done on our behalf when we can't do it
No one can earn the promises
Grace through faith
I have the capability to be righteous, to be holy because of what Christ has done on the cross for me
New Identity in Christ
Do your best, God will do the rest
confidence, hope, expectation
Romans 4:13
8:14-17
Genesis 22
Ephesians 3:6, 20-21
Titus 3:4-7
Hebrews 6:13-14;17-18
God cannot make a promise to His seed that He is not willing, able and capable to fulfill. Belive God, be fully convinced
James 2:5 - poor of this world rich in faith
If God says he is going to do it, He will fulfill it
Believe God
Galatians 22:15-18
Abraham was blessed
The earthly stuff is secondary, not the primary stuff, the primary stuff is tbe spiritual side of posessing the gates of the enemy. this taking ground that which the enemy has stolen, this 'taking back'.
6 to the 22nd power - the multiplication God wants to do in our life, in the spiritual realm
simple obedience to His voice
Have I put limits on God?
Ephesians 3:20-21
Why do we put limits on a limitless God?
Is there any enemy too great for us?
confidence, hope, expectancy we have the promises of God. The gates (authority) of Hell shall not prevail, victory is ours
Matthew 16:18-19
I can hold myself back
The devil is fearful that I might get ahold of this
The devil wants to bring doubt and disbelief
I want to start acting, walking, talking like it
Church is about giving my life away, I don't know what it looks like
(Book of Acts)
confindence, hope, expectancy
If thats the way they did it Lord, than I want it in my life
Amm I feeling defeated, do I keep judging myself at this refrence point of trying to live under the law?
How do I view my Heavenly Father? As a taskmaster, ready to slap your hand at the slightest infraction
I can never measure up, be the Christian God wants me to be, do what he asks me to dolosing the joy of the Lord of your life
Grace of God
God has promises for me to live out, things for me to do
GOd is going to work on my behalf
My reference point, God's work on the cross, his blod shed for me
God calls us to go forward. QUIT GOING BACK!

I was just thinking about RA's tagline on his website. Part of a song he wrote.....~ "Holding back the flood you'll find a rainbow." Hmmmmmm. Now I can't wait to listen. There are messages in this series, I may just have to keep following along online.

It's Tough Being A Woman....week 5

The Gold Scepter
God ~ "Reach out and take hold of your destiny!"

Esther 5:2
When he saw Queen Esther standing in the court, he was pleased with her and held out to her the gold scepter that was in his hand. So Esther approached and touched the tip of the scepter.

(Esther 4:16 ~ If I perish, I perish)

session four - face our worst fears
the enemy and our own self-destructive natures combine to taunt us with "what if's". Once we are in Christ, Satan has no authority to destroy us.

Once Satan sees what we believe would be the end of us, he threatens and torments us with it. (Prevents us from being all God wants us to be

Our conditional trust positions us as negotiators and beggars before God instead of secure children

.....secure children who trust their lives to the faithful Father

When fears become reality, we are devistated, thinking God is unfaithful. Satan essentially gets what he wants - us to believe that life is over. Unless opur belief system chages, it is! (Prov. 23:7 As a man thinks in his heart, so is he)
we are free and safe to voice our worst nightmares to God

...trust Him no matter what (this wil only make us stronger)

most of what we fear never happens

Our only steadfast defenses against life's certain uncertainties is unconditional trust in a Savior who loves us more than his own life

If....Then statements

If surgery Then God will take care of me
If I doubt Then God has a plan
If no job Then God desires to accomplish something monumental in me
If singleness Then Gods going to demonstrate His sufficiency to me
If I perish Then God will welcome me in Heaven

Clearly she appeard before Xerxes as none other than the Queen of the vast Persian empire
(with confidence)
(Approaching God's throne)

How often does our own King hold out the scepter of approval and though we inch forward in timid approach we chose not to reach out and touch it?.....who knows what mighty deliverance is at hand!
Rev. 22:16 - 17 ~ "Come!"

(Esther 4:16) Esthers actions were illegal

Xerxes knew something was wrong based on her demeanor and not just her broken protocol

"....What troubles you Hagar?" Gen. 21:17
"What ails you....?" Psalm 114:5

He (God) asked her (Esther) what was troubling or ailing her (Tell God)

Sometiems God is more aware than we of just how much He requires of us. He knows how hard it's going to be for us.

I persist becasue it appears to be God's will (talking about her speaking and writing)

When you blow it, do you wait a long time before trying again? Do you feel teh need to always make an 'A'?

....sometimes just surviving certain tasks without falling apart is our best and in those times, God is not ashamed of our performance. He's proud of us for fighting overwhelming human emotions to do His will. He is intersted in our heartsHe loves our willingness and obedience despite our insecurities

Man is still God's prized creation and most valued treasure

...deny ourselves,; our selfishness, ambition, pasts, or any damaged emotions the right to cheat us of His far higher plans for us

He's just not willing to leave things dead

Any time God calls us to die, his purpost is to reveal larger life (Me:"What could possibly be greater in Ca than here in Mt?")

Esther 5:9 - what is troubling beyond coincidence is that the Jews were at their lowest

A frightening circumstance may remain exactly the same, but God's child need not

A terrifying thing had ha[[ened while evil basked in its success: prayer and fasting. A godless man had no idea teh well of divine power a person cvould access from praying knees. There abides the drink that can stady the legs of a lamb led to slaughter while a wolf howls proudly nearby.

(If I didn't move to Montana/California, look what I might have missed.)

Courage is not eh absence of fear, but doign whatever it is inspite of fear.

One reason we desperate;ly need to know our standing in God's eyes is so that we are not consumed with high standing in our own eyes or the eyes of others.

We can serve from our knees on earth becasue we are seated with the King in heaven

God compiled the whole cannon of Scripture to teach us about human nature as well as His nature. God's full intent is for us to view them side by side.

....wants us to know He is God asd we are not. He also wants us to see who we were meant to be when he formed us in His image

Discontent with selfishness and weary of ego, we finally become willing to lose ourselves to something greater ....we find Christ as we've never known Him. ....and startle to discover that part o fourselves resembles Him.
(2Pter 1:3-4)

Haman's boasts (his wealth, status, ) Apparently, the only ones who goty to talk were those who talked about him.

...letting my preoccupation with one person steal teh joy that countless others brought me (people younget than me, getting married, having children)
...mental preoccupation.... we serve whatever masters us

our bondage, stronghold, can be a person.... he or she consumes an excessive and unhealthy spot in our thoughts, whether negative or positive. The individual may be someone
we are attracted to, feel threatedned or defeated by
whose approval eludes us, or whose happiness consumes us (Gal. 1:10)
whome we adore, despise, or far more complexly, both. Our problem peoplle are ofent those we "love" one moment and "hate" the next

We form mental strongholds towards those who won't give us what we want or need

Somewhere along eh way we felt emotionally masterd by the. Our thoughts abotu the person emotionally mastered us

....do what is necessary to bring our thoughts capitve to the knoweledge of God
(2Cor 10:5)

(Lord, I wanted -or felt I needed- this person to change, instead, change me!)

root of preoccupation? My own insecurities with myself

God is the only one who can tend to the secret places

Admit we have an area of brokenness

Discontent with selfishness and weary of ego, we finally become willing to lose ourselves to something greater. In doign so, we find Christ as we've never kmown Him.

"Grow up and get over yourself, it's not all about you!"

Prov. 4:23
Isaiah 26:3 - "peace"

It's Tough Being a Woman....week 3

Instead of going ahead and feeling the pain, processing it before God, and letting Him heal us, sometimes we opt for a trade-in

...one woman overtaken by the love of Christ can reach past her limited vision

God has the tenacious love to stick with me and help this chronic weakling grow stronger.

...willing to let God show us where meanness originates, and let Him tend to us in that area of brokenness

Trust that time is God's alone to give

Satan has a limmited leash where believers are concerned, his most powerful tactics are psychological. Though he can't posess our minds, he profoundly and destructively influences our thoughts. He would love nothing better than to see me forfeit my joy...by taunting me to futile speculations. (Rom. 1:21
We must catch the Enemy in the act and call it what it is, and keep him from what he wants. David...pledged himself to fear no evil

The Diaspora Jews did not know if God was with them or not

Haman alludes to the Jews in vague terms, making them anonymous, indefinite, and depersonalized. It is easier to kill an abstraction than a person. God call us by name. Satan and his hordes see us as numbers. (tattoos of Jews in Hitler's death camps)

One of Satan's primary agenda's, not to let us enjoy the rest Christ has given us. (Matt. 9:36)

God never takes His eyes off us or off the clock ticking over us.

John 10:10

Our enemy seeks to steal our lives and everything of value to us. (me, my dreams)

The beautifully frustrating part of Satan's insatiable bloodlust is that ultimately he cannot have what he wants. In reality, he cannot destroy even one of us who belongs to God through Christ Jesus. Satan is bereft of the power he wants most.

Satan can't win and you can't lose.

ELEVATE ~ Helping All God's Children Reach for the Son

ELEVATE ~ Helping All God's Children Reach for the Son, is Shadow Mountain Community Church's newest ministry for children with disabilties and other special needs. A division of Mountain High Children's Ministries, it had been the church's idea for over a year now to get this mew ministry up and running, and today was finally our first trial run. We will hold one more next week before our official start date in June. This week we were scheduled to have four to six children, and we only had two. Next week we hope to have more, with the intent of one day having a full classroom. Today we had young elementary students. It will eventually serve children from ages four to eighteen.
Last year about this time I had arrived early to church one Sunday morning to see the church activities being flashed up on the screen just before service started. My mother caught the slide before I did, and she told me about the special needs ministry that was looking for volunteers. The following Sunday as the slides were being shown before service and during announcements, the same slide flashed on the screen and this time I spotted it.
Now don't ask me what the sermon was about that particular Sunday, my mind was on other things; like "where could God be going with this?". I mean, all this trouble finding a job and He gives me exactly what I want only teaching on Sunday mornings?
Though I was excited through the first couple of staff meetings, (I took notes like a crazy woman), after staff meeting one evening a few weeks ago I started having my doubts when we discussed the mornings routine. "Maybe this isn't what I thought it would be". But I quickly shook that outta my head. Something compelled me to go forward. Today was our first day and I have to say I really....really enjoyed it! It went by so fast let's just see if I can remember it all. Ha!
Only two children came for our initial 'ramp-up' or first trial run prior to the kick-off in June. We fully expected a few more. Our morning consisted of twenty minutes of each activity, music, game/puzzle time, story, gross motor time, snack,.... oh what else am I forgetting. For some activities we transitioned to another room right next door. Our story for today was on the creation, and how God created us because He loves us so much. It was great to hear one child whom ansered when you asked her a question about the story. The fact that she understood was precious. And to hear them shake their instruments at music time or get into the words or the music was great.
One activity was rolling, bouncing or tossing a giant rubber ball, basically a ball that is normally used for pilates. Children seemed to enjoy this. The young boy I teamed up with would point to who he wanted the ball to go to next, and smile. At one point he gave me a thumbs up.
A bit more happenedc this morning , but these were the parts worth writing about. I already cannot wait to see what next Sunday brings. You can bet I will post it here.

It's Tough Being A Woman...week 2

When the seemingly unshakeable shakes, wer're twice as shaken
(she said this in reference to when vulnerability breaks a tough exterior, but I looked at it through my own situation of leaving Montana. I thought I never would, I thought I saw things coming together.....instead I felt they were falling apart.)

God sometimes allows our confusion to coax us into further study of the entire word.

The book of Esther will seem to pick the scabs off some of the wounds our culture has inflicted on us, but....GOd will also use it to clean those wounds so they can heal

Those of us who know Jesus personally live under Divine rule where all us girls get to be princesses

He (God) sees sees something much deeper than her physical desirability

Many of the Jews had all but forgotten God in their daily disciplines, but He had not forgotten them. GOd would soon prove He had never taken his hand off of them. They may have forgotten their identity, but He hadn't.

One of GOd's purposes in this Journey (of Esther I presume) is to help us recapture both our identity and identification as His children.....so that we can be influential.

GOd used Wsther's anonimity, bu only as a means toward a far-from-anonymous end.

Heb. 2:11 Christ is not ashamed of us.

....the kind of King who gives a woman dignity instead of taking it. A King whose commans are always for our good and whose ways are always toward our wholeness

When was the last time it was your turn? You know the feeling I am talking about: when you're next. You've dreaqmed about it (future) You've longed for it (dreams) You've dreaded it (what might not be) You've run from it (Mt. back to Ca.)
(when IS it my turn. I'm seeing others dreams a reality.....)

Heb. 6:10-12
.....through faith and patience we will inherit the promises of God

Sometimes the Providence of God can be defined as times when God trumps your perfectly good plan with one of His own...then seems to dissappear from it. Take heart beloved, He's right there and He's there right!

It's Tough Being A Woman... week 1

Bible Study - Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman
(I wasn't going to post about this but...... something compells me to)

Thsi is my second Beth Moore study, my first being a study on David: A Man After God's own Heart, and I have even heard her speak in person. I love Love LOVE what God speaks through her! In the beginning, trying to decide what study to do at our church and my mother had pretty much decided for us, lol! I can't remember now which one I wanted to do, but I am SO glad we did Beth's. It was slow at first, but by week four I was all into it!

HIGHLIGHTS

Intro:
God's name isnt in it (book of Esther), but the hand of God is all over it
The book of Esther offers tremendous hope
Providence of God ~ God conceived as the power sustaining and guiding human destiny
He's in the mundane and trivial. To God, nothing happens by chance

Week 1:
Not so much our story as God's story. It becomes ours as He writes us into it.
Esther was more than just a pretty face
Let God tend to your insecurities
(not finding a job just yet, not living in my own place, friends living in different states, frustrated with health)
Stay open to all the ways God wants to speak to you about becoming more secure in your world
(I've had to repent for not allowign God to speak freely, and not just the ways in which I think He sould)
...moments in your own life that seemed unconnected to anything God was doing at the time, but ended up crucial in your own story
...even negative moments of decision, encounter, or action can become treacherous steppingstones to a grand Kingdom destiny.
He is never more present than when God seems strangely absent
Sometimes, there in the hiddeness, God builds a woman she'd never otherwise become
Brought up by Mordecai, her cousin (thought this was ironic being that I have lived with my cousin for almost a year now)

The Church of the Open Door

Revelation 3:7 - 13
(really only touched on vs 7-8)

The Church of the Open Door (Opportunity)
(the faithful church)

The POWER of an open door (faith)
Rev. 3:8 ; IICor. 2:12 ; Col. 4:2-3 ; Acts 14:27
God is the one who opens doors, pray for the doors to be opened

The PRODUCER of an open door
Rev. 3:7 ~ the one who is Holy, True
He opens, He closes
The One who is holy
Rev. 3:7 ; 1 Peter 1:15
The One who is true
Rev. 3:7 (Genuine)

The PERMANENCE of an open door
Rev. 3:7 ; 1:18 ; Isaiah 22:22
NO man can shut
NO man can open
......but God
"Lord God, help me see the open doors for witness today".

The PROBLEM with an open door
Opportunities are often disguised as problems
missed open door
I may not have seen an open door if the door was not closed
Opportunities are time sensitive
sometimes they don't come at convenient times
Opportunities are often tested by opposition
1Cor. 16:8-9
usually territory held by the enemy
Best evidence we have it is the will of God
Opportunities are usually missed because of fear
Rev. 3:8 ; IICor. 12:9 ; Gen. 11:4
I cannot do this on my own strength
(His strength is made perfect in weakness)
If God opens a door, He'll help you walk through it

Eph. 5:15 - 17
.....making the most of every opportunity

ON YOUR OWN
God ordained opportunities
Gen. 12:1-9
Esther 4 &5
Luke 18:18 - 30
John 4: 1 - 26
Acts 9:10-17
Acts 16:6-10

Open doors rarely come to us at a time when we are prepared to walk through them. Many times, we are so caught up in attending to our normal every day lives that we are a little disrupted when a truly miraculous and extraordinary moment presents itself. How has God interrupted your life in a miraculous or extraordinary way? How was His timing?
Moving to Montan when I thought I had life figured out
teaching sunday school
meeting RA
moving to CA
Skyline to Shadow Mountain when I thought I was being led to Skyline and mom said she'd go where I wanted to )
teaching Sunday school Special Needs ministry

There may be inner resistance to where God is leading you
(me falling in love with Skyline church, mom and dad going to Shadow Mountain and because I don't drive having to go there instead. Me wanting to go back to Skyline, but then the Special Needs ministry popped up.)

Sunday Sermon - Five Challenges for the New Year

Dr. Tom Thompson

Numbers 13
children of the promised land
How are we going to go in?
(God's question to me: How am I going to go into the new year?
My answer: with hope)

13:1,2, 17 - 20
Test of faith
Challenge of who they are, were

Five Challenges

1. Reprioritize Your Life
Focus on the Blessor, NOT the blessings
vs. 23
fruit = blessings
the fruit didn't make any difference
Without God, we wouldn't have ANY of the blessings we do
we would have no reason to praise
Hebrews 12:2
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

2. Become a Risk Taker
vs. 28 - 29
it will maximize reward
The blessing will never satisfy
God tries to get us out of our comfort zone

3. Embrace Your Struggles
produces authenticity
***vs. 30 - 32
Am I looking at life through eyes of faith, risk, God, or through my own eyes?
our struggles can be an encouragement to others.
***Trust God more than man
God is in control
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
God is developing spiritual discipline
Noah, Joseph, David, Sampson, Daniel, Christ, Early Disciples - Life-changing agents by the grace of God
***There is not testimony without the test

4. Look Beyond the Circumstances
vs. 31 - 33
faulty assumptions = faulty conclusions
The giants in our hearts create the issues we battle every day
Unbelief
"I have met the enemy and it is me"
Satan wants us to quit and give up
***our faith never grows in comfortable surroundings
***When God wants to do something wonderful, He begins with a difficulty
Joshua and Caleb


5. Envision the Extraordinary
vs. 33
God is much bigger than we think

Why Must He Be so RIGHT All the Time!!!!!! LOL>D

I am in my van, on the way home from spending the afternoon with my mother and my cousin. I am somewhat reclined in my powerchair, half-asleep as todays lunch, the sunshine from the afternoon, and the comfort of my position render me half asleep. Suddenly 'Take My Will', a song written and sung by Richard Andrew is rolling through my head. I start thinking about the events that eventually led up to my moving back to Southern California and wonder why (silly me!) things just had to happen the way they did. And then I crack up laughing..... His immediate answer? "Because, you wouldnt have bent to MY WILL otherwise" There is a reason why God does things the way He does them!

If that song came *before* all this had happened, it might have had a totally different outcome.

I am simply amazed that in this crazy time I find myself running the opposite direction from where I really want to run; running *to* Him instead of *from* Him. He is simply teaching me to trust Him.

Meanwhile, I cannot stop listening to this song!!!!!!!

What A Day!!! :D

Wednesday was the frst morning in at least three weeks that I had been to JUMP Preschool. After so many times as a volunteeer to see if I liked it, they require a background check before you return. It could take weeks for this to go through (ugh!). The director said she would call me when this happened.
Weeks go by and I haven't heard anything, but I resist the urge to call. She said she would call me when everything was okay'd. One day last week I finally went with the urge and called her office. She was glad I finally called as she had erased the message on the answering machine that had my phone number. Besides, the background check came back a-okay after only one week. Was I ready to start that Wednesday? HECK YEAH!!!!!
Immediately upon my arrival into one of the classrooms one little boy rushed right over to me (kind of a hop/jog sorta) and gave me a great big bear hug! Three more children from another class also did the same. I was so glad that they remebered who I was!!!
There were only three two-year-olds in their class today. 2 of the two years olds were actually interested in me, and cracked me up! (The third being sick and sleeping on teh couch). One of the little girsl was blabbering away, abotu what you had no idea as you could not understadn a WORD of what she said!!! (Oh how i WISH I could!) And LAUGH!!! Oh I love hearing the laughter of children. I would laugh at what they did which made them laugh....which made ME laugh even harder! AT onbe poin you hear me saying "alright!" as I was LOVING teh interaction with them. Before you know it, I had a little copycat. "AWIIIGH!", two-year-olds version of "ALRIIIGHT!") And both of them would not stop smiling at me :D the entire time I was with them.
My mother, cousin and I are in a new biblestudy - Beth Moore's study on Esther, "It's Tough Being a Woman". We missed the first three weeks of it, but last night being our first and I was rivetted. I got sooooooo much out of it! I took notes like a mad woman, along with filling in the information in our workbooks. Afteward, i got to thinking, "If this is how its going to be every week, I am in for the ride of my life!!!" I LOVED it!

Sermon - A Simple Thanksgiving

Dr. David Jeremiah – Shadow Mountain Community Church

Everything in my life is filtered through the loving hands of God
Humbled…or hardened?
Beauty in the simplest elements of life
When it’s dark enough, you see the stars
Consistency of God’s blessings dulls our attitude
2 Corinthians 11 – Apostle Paul, great teacher of gratitude
Giving thanks for our FAITH
2Cor. 9:15 – spontaneous praise; Ephesians 1:3
I know Jesus, therefore I am rich
The greatest thing God can do, bring me to Himself
Giving thanks for our FAMILY
2Timothy 1: 3, 5
One day you may wake up and realize the things you so desperately wanted are the things in which you already have
Giving thanks for your FRIENDS
Paul’s Epistles
Philippians 1:4 ; Romans 1:8 ; Ephesians 1:15, 16 ; Colossians 12:3, 4 ; 2Timothy 1:3 ; 1 Corinthians 1:4 ; Phil. 1:3 ; 1Thess. 1:2 ; 2Thess. 1:3
Giving thanks for our FINANCES
Phil. 4:10, 19 – 20 ; Psalm 68:19 ; Psalm 107:21 – 22
What is your perspective? (Book: Paradox of Choice – Why More is Less)
Giving thanks for our FUTURE
Col. 1:12 – 13
I have an incredible future; the BEST is yet to come!
Loss and pain open the door to gratitude

Boundaries

A couple of weeks ago I started attending a singles Bible Study @ Skyline church. My cousin encouraged me to attend (she was thinking dating purposes, me just getting to know people in the church and hopefully close to my age). Anyway, the church bulletin gave the description that it ws going to be on 'When to say yes, When to say no'. Not sure wshat to think, but okay. I get there and it is 'Boundaries in Dating'. Great. "Okay God, I don't know what to think. I will stick with it and see where You lead". Little did I know I just played an excercise in faith.
I was getting some stuff from this study, however, weeks into it and I still was a bit uncomfortable. After all, the only date I had ever been on was a blidn date set up by two mutual friends. That night? Just plain awkward! The next couple of weeks, thoughts were flooding my mind.
Doe God truly have someone out there for me?
Why have I had to wait so long (its got me believing I am to remain single)
My desire - God given?
My disability and all it entails - afraid it scares them off.

Here's where it gets interesting...

The group decides that it is better to start at the first book in the 'Boundaries' series (it goes from everyday relationships...family, friends... on up to boundaries with children). Oh My GOODNESS!!! I am lovin it! I am getting so much MORE from this first book - Boundaries - 'When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life'
So far I am learning about breaking free from others control (how am I supppose to learn how to make decisions...even the RIGHT ones, when you are making them FOR me?!), seeking my own identity, and taking control of MY life. For quite a while now I havne't felt like I have had much if any control.

One week I was sitting in class thinking about the transition "okay, why the switch God?" I swear I heard His response in the back of my head say "It got you in here didnt it?" I almost burst out laughing right then and there!

But seriously, now the hardest part is talking to specific people about what I am learning, and praying they receive it well.

Prayer - Pastor Ed Noble

Visited my cousins church, Journey, today. Worship was okay, but the message was fantastic. Throughout his message on prayer, I starred points that really spoke to me. LOL! I looked back after the message and saw that I had starred every single point he made!

OUR PRAYER: Lord, teach us to pray

....invitaion to walk a little ways toward a new normal

BIG POINT OF THE WEEKEND - Prayers true self is rel=vealed wehn we enjoy ...we cant stop learning, or relearning 'til we are there.

COACH US UP: Luke 11 (5&6)
Lord's Prayer

Shamelessness - Bring your real self, your whole self
never pretend with God

Luke 11:7&8 - persistence
barefaced, audacity, shamelessness

Body
Imaginagination
Intellect
Emotions - cant but must be there
Bring the WHOLE Package

HEART - Avoid the danger of losing heart (Luke 18:1)
ask
seek
knock
EVERYONE who asks receives..... - Luke 11:9&10

I have what I have to love God with

Ask God to move

Problem side - Dissappointment, unbelief, ignorance
Solution side - Togetherness and focus

Reminder: You have to fight for Joy/happiness

Holy Spirit - Something done TO you more than BY you
Luke 11:11-13

God gives GOOD gifts

Fire (passion, intensity) Spiritual gifts
Spiritual Longing Healing
Taking us deeper Leading/Prompting

God delights to give us Himself so we can share his delights
Delight yourself in the law of the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.
~Psalm 37:4

Often, we must stand under the unimaginable mysteries of God
Richard Foster

GOD, give us what we really, ultimately need - You!