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In His Strength

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength --- Philippians 4:13

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Poignant and Powerful

Today's Preschool Sunday school lesson did not go as planned,  but after today's message from our Pastor in the adult service, I was somewhat okay with that.
     It mostly had to do with worship

Three crafts and a Bible story to tie it all together.  That is what we are supposed to do.  I have to learn that it is okay if we do not get through all of them. What is most important is building relationship with children, because that is what Jesus would want to do. 

I was excited about one craft, making a dough from flour, water and salt, and forming it into a heart to hang from a string around our necks.   I did that very firs thing so that we could set it aside to dry/harden while we did two other crafts.  I made way too much.  The lesson book had a recipe that was for more that one child.  I made a sandwich bag full for EACH child.  I misunderstood....apparently.  I guess we could have made little hearts for each child out of that one recipe. I don't know what I was thinking.  Well, it took up all of our time for the other two crafts ..... I let it get to me. I left class frustrated. 

My mind still spinning, I went into service. the pastors wife passed by me greeting me and I shared a bit of my frustration.  "Sometimes that happens", was her reply. then, today's message. 

But the comfort came not so much from today's sermon, but from worship. 

"I'm coming back to the heart of worship, when it's all about You, it's all about You Jesus. I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it, when it's all about You, it's all about You Jesus."
God's way of telling me...., "Tryna, stop trying to be a perfectionist, and just , breathe. It's not about You, but ME

Ha! What is the next song?

MWS "Breathe"
 ~ This is the air I breathe, Your Holy Presence living in me." 
His reminding me He is 'El Roi', the God who sees" and He understands

Next up was a video about inviting unchurched people to church. One line stood out to me .....

"It may go as planned, it may not"

Me,  Ms. Perfectionist

Next up, these words in a song called, "The Stand", by Hillsong united
You stood before my failure
And carried the cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what could I say?
And what could I do?
But offer this heart, Oh God
Completely to you
I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all
I'll stand
My soul Lord to you surrendered
All I am is yours 

 MESSAGE (what stood out to me) Matthew 13:31-32 ; Matthew 20 ;  Eph. 4: Philippians 2.

Sower = God
Seed = His Word
Ground = My <3 br="" nbsp="">Tares = Sin

Matthew 13:31-32
Believe = Trust

The small seed , may be small, but it can grow to do great things

The kingdom of God is not normal
     not based on pride, prestige, dominance,

Matthew 20

Ephesians 4

***The mustard seed signifies small beginnings
This is where I felt His Spirit speaking directly to me " Leave the outcome in God's hands"

Ending the service with  "In My Life Lord, Be Glorified today"
and another song (I forget which) with the line, "He took my sorrows and made them His own". 

........And whatever crafts we did not get to in today's lesson, my helper said we can go ahead and do those next week. 

Friday, November 09, 2012

Thursday 11/09/2012

I awoke to the sight of light snow falling on my birthday =D !!!

Sunday, August 26, 2012

It's A Rollercoaster Ride of Life......and it's all so surreal

I am moving back to Montana after leaving for three years. It all seems so surreal. "Nobody pinch me, I don't want to wake up!" (It's been a deram of mine for as long as I can rememeber to live in horse country, with other animals)

I haven't been able to secure employment. Gastro-intestinal migraines get in the way, excuses about my having a servicedog also leave me discouraged. Qualifications too! Believing He has anything for me is difficult, I sit here ......wondering.

Nothing about being back in So. Cal. makes any sense. I can't even find work here, all for the same reasons. My best friend and I aren't even as close as we used to be. Fifteen years has taken it's toll.

Then one day my dad decides that he wants to move back to Montana. THAT didn't even make any sense to me (as excited as I was about the prospect). "We'll probably be back in two or three years", was my thinking. I just want to feel planted somewhere. I am getting to the point that moving is become very old. I am done! All my friends are scattered across the U.S. As I type this, dad is in Montana looking at property. He's found a few places that look promising.

This past Sunday mom and I were in adult Sundayschool. It was a guest speaker who came and gave a message, and sharing about his missionary endeavors (to where, I now forget). It was powerful! Both mom and I were feeling confirmation about this move to Montana. The fact that we were both feeling it made it all that more exciting, more real! "That's What Faith Can Do' by Kutless plays on the radio as I type this. Haha, and now, "My Hope Is In You", by Aaron Shust. I just looked at the sermon archives for our church, the past Sunday's sermon ~ 'Hearing the Voice of God'. I will have to listen later.

But back to Sundayschool....... ~
"Being Friends with God"

*Hebrews 11:8-11
John 15:13-16

Hebrews 11 `faith of Abraham'
John 15....greater love hath no man than this, that he lay downb his life for his friends.

Abrahams actions
He obeyed (vs. 8)
He enaabled (vs. 11)
He trusted (vs 17)

His thought process (Faith)
*He looked forward (vs. 10)
He considered God's faithfulness (vs. 11)
*He reasoned that God could (vs. 19)

Obedience based of faith
no leap in the dark
Romans 10:17
Abraham heard God's messsage
Genesis 12:1.7,8,
Ch.'s 14, 15, 17, 18, 19, 20
*** God's Communication: Faith = Relationship
James 2:23
God saves through His provision
*****Faith ~ Personal application of God's provision to my heart
Obedience ~ loving response

vs. 1-9 Branches (fruitfulness)
9-17 Fellowship
18-27 Faithful

branches - purpose
friends - priveledge

John 15:13-15
Jesus calls us to be His friend
I am not His 'slave' but His 'friend'.
Angels - servants
WE are his friends

***Genesis 18:17
confidence regarding God's plan
servant - what
friend - why

Psalm 25:14

Psalm 103:7
servants, yes
friends, yes

John 13, 14
comforter, Holy Spirit

Luke 11:5-8
Prayer = fellowship with God
??? Am I available to Him when He calls ???

Friend = priveledge

Ephesians 3:17-19
God is at home in your hearts as you trust Him
His power working in us

"Saddle up Your Horses....We've got a trail to blaze......" ~SCC (email from friend Patti Allen.

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Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Indian Hills Camp

On my way to church one difficult morning, I prayed that the Lord might do something to perk me up. I only half-expected to hear an answer, let's just say I wasn't optimistic at all. Our class time was good, though after a rough week, I really wasn't all there mentally nor emotionally.
At the end of our class time together (whew! I couldn't wait to be done), our director hands out a flyer, and explains the information presented on it. Indian Hills Camp is holding its first ever camp for children with special needs. Ooooo, okay, interest peaked! Oh, but woudl mom and dad go for it? After all, it was a weekend overnighter. I needed help with morning and evening routines. We talked about it in the car, and she seemd pretty optimistic =D. ALRIGHT!!!!
A weekend-long event at Indian Hills camp with at least four other churches, each having children with special needs (autism, downs syndrome, developmental challenges, learning disabilties, Williams Syndrome, PDD, Fragile X, Asperger Syndrome).

Teaching them to embrace life with Jesus
Helping them recognize the value of their uniqueness,
Telling them that they are Christ's special creation.

Games, petting zoo, swimming, singing, zipline, biblestories, campfire. Ohmygoodness, is it August yet?!

Accessibility might be an issue in some areas, but who knows. Ive been known to get my chair in some crazy places, LOL!

I have been praying about this opportunity since I first heard. It's only a weekend, but could something further become of this? It's in God's hands at this point.

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Saturday, March 10, 2012

Rock and Worship Roadshow 2012

The Rock & Worship Roadshow! I've heard of these advertised on the Christian radio station I listen to (89.7 KSGN out of the Los Angeles area) and wondered what it would be like to attend one. I heard they were coming to San Diego. Now who can I talk into going with me? Heh-heh. I cannot remember if it was I that mentioned it first or my cousin. I looked up the info online. Tickets were ten bucks, whoo-hoo!!! We're going. Oh, but I worried about seating ......and my poor ears.
We arrived an hour or so early to get good seats. The wheelchair seating was actually rather good! =D Perfect view of the stage, not to close but not too far away (okay, it could have been a bit closer what with my poor distance vision, but I was plenty happy with where we sat =) I wore my 'RA' t-shirt and at least two people asked about it =D I did not even think about taking any pictures. RATS!

Moriah Peters
'I Choose Jesus", what a beautiful song! I cannot wait to hear more of her on the radio. I wish I could remember the other songs she played. She was the first to open the show and did an excellent job. I wasn't ready for her to get off of the stage!

Sidewalk Prophets ~ I am soooo totally a new fan! I loved every song that they sang. Each song seemed to be my hearts cry.
Love Me Anyway
Live Like That
Words I Would Say
You Can Have Me

Hawk Nelson
A few moments after he walked out on stage and the first thing to pop into my head was that he looked like Justin Beiber's twin. I couldn't belive my cousin actually said it out loud! I tried hard not to laugh, somewhat failing.(I'm even cracking up as I'm trying to type this).
Something immediately turned me off to him. Oh sure, his music was too loud for me to understand a single word, but it was the fact that he had "HAWK" in BIG capital letters sitting on the stage, flashing in white lights. Now I could see that at a secular concert, but at a Christian venue I would have rathered 'Jesus' up in flashing lights. After all, in't it His name we are lifting up?

I could not understand a word of what they sang. Their music was too loud, EVEN with earlplugs. I thought they were just okay, but my cousing L<3ved them. Seeing her rock out made me smile, so I enjoyed them to a certain extent because of it. Miles McPhereson What the heck? He only spoke for five minutes. Oh sure, just when I was getting into it too! haha
If Jesus is really the man, you need to trust Him. Let Go.
(analogy of holding onto a rope over water)

This message had me squirming at some points. I went home and later looked up more of him online.

I should have known. The two artists I didnt care for, my cousin loved. I was happy. Lecrae wasnt my fave, but I did enjoy them somewhat. Actually, their song 'Background' sort of had me thinking.
Luke 12:15-21
I dont want to waste my life ~ I had a hard time keeping up with this song, they sung it so fast, haha! But it was a great message, considering the struggle I feel I am facing with where God wants me.
"You cant celebrate the gifts without celebrating the Giver"

Rend Collective Experiment
I am totally a new fan! Just as Richard Andrew dropped the 'Experiment' shortly after I met him, I now believe RCE needs to do the same.
My favorite song I heard from them tonight was.....oh,... shoot,.... I couldn't decide!
Worship on Iphone ~ that was kind of cool!
You Are My Vision
Build Your Kingdom Here
Praise Like Fireworks

Mercy Me
I was exctatic to see MErcy Me in concert again. I think this woudl be the fourth or fifth time I had seen them. But by the time Mercy Me went up on stage to sing, I was ready to go home. I was sooooo looking rorward to hearing them too! I am hoping it was the fact that I was tired, but I normally really enjoy their music. I mean, I DO have four of their CD's! Their very last song was the best I thought, and it was their song 'Move'. They actually choreographed a dance on stage while playing their instruments. I was laughing.
I did not buy any music that night, but after hearing Rend Collective, really wished I had.

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Wednesday, November 23, 2011

MY GOD IS........ (A Thanksgiving Reflection)

reading 'Satisfy My Thirsty Soul'
one of the excercises ~ making a list of the attributes of God from A to Z.
Some letters are easier than others, some take no time to list, some I can only think of one word, others.....wow. Takes some time (after half an hour my brain was fried, and yet after I laid it aside and did other things, words still came to mind....faster than I could write them down!)ere it is, even weeks after I started my list and as I type this, words are coming to mind. I thought I would post it here, as it seemed somehow fitting for Thanksgiving.
(Some letters were more difficult than others)

MY GOD IS........
Awesome, my All In All, Amazing, Annointed One, Adored, Adonai, Abba, Anchor, Ancient of Days, Alpha, Able,
Beautiful,Beginning and End, Blessed, Beloved, Brilliant, Breath
Christ, Creator, Coming, Caring, Chosen, Compassionate, Captivating, Conqueror, Comforting, Counselor,
Deliverer, my Delight, Destiny, Defender Divine,
Eternal, Excellent, Everlasting, Ever-Present,Emmanuel(God with us),
Father, Forever, Faithful, Forgiving, Friend, Freedom, First and the Last, Fabulous, Fantastic,
God, Great, Glorious, Giver, Good, Grace,
Helper, Healer, Holy, High-and-exalted, Holy, Hosannah,
Immeasurable, Infallible, Immutable, Impartial, Infinite, Incomprehensible,
Just, Joy, Jealous, Jehovah,
King, Kinsman Redeemer, Kind,
Lord, Lover, Listener, Leader, Laughter, Life,
Master, Maker, Messiah, Mentor, Mercy, Mighty, Motivator, Messenger,
Omniscient, Omnipresent, Overwhelming, On-time,
Present, Patient, Papa, Passionate, Pure, Prince of Peace, Powerful, Pursuer,
Rescue, Radiant, Redeemer,
Savior, Sovereign, Sweet, Searcher of Hearts, Sufficient,
Truth, Trust, Timely, Transcendant of time and space, Tremendous,
Understanding, Unfathomable, Unchanging,
Wreckless love, Wellspring of life, Wonderful, Worthy,

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Tuesday, September 06, 2011

I Yelled at God Last Night

(please excuse the tardiness of this post as it's been a few days in the making)

WEEEEEEEEE!!! His Love IS Amazing!

I had expected to take meds for weeks before seeing results, and within days felt phenomenal. Almost three weeks went by and no pain, nausea, nothing! =D I took a bold step of faith (I thought so anyway) and shared with a friend who was writing a song along those same lines. The day after I wrote that however, ...........miserable! Headache, nausea, vomiting... For three hours could not keep a thing down, even the meds that were supposed to stop it. I was angry, “THIS ISN’T FAIR! Why get my hopes up,…..again!?” I want to work, I want to afford to DO things, I don’t want to be stuck at HOME!” Yes, I was yelling, screaming, and crying and even beating my pillow… yet, somehow, sensed He completely understood (why did I still feel so guilty?). I felt two strong hands- one on each of my shoulders- and a still, small voice quietly nudges it’s way in, telling me instead of wallowing in that one miserable day, I could choose to rejoice in those two weeks I had (“but I want MORE God!”). The next week was a rollercoaster, both physically as we try to regulate medication and emotionally because I am just so done with this nonsense!
Meanwhile…….children are my sanity (okay, them and my dog, I have to giver her credit)
Why can’t Sundays be every day? Truly? I cannot get enough of being with the ‘Elevate’ ministry at our church. I think I am the favorite. We have a game with yarn balls; set a time limit and see who can get the most on the other side of the room. The side with the least amount of yarn balls on their side wins. It often turns into who can pelt Tryna with the most! I LOVE IT!!! On one occasion, unbeknownst to me, I arrived home with three of them stashed behind my back. Maybe that’s why my back felt so good afterwards, Haha!
But last Sunday I was in no mood for children, I was in no mood for God (I scared even myself with that one!). I went to church because I knew it was the right thing to do, maybe it would get my mind off of all of this nonsense. Worship was agony. This is highly unusual coming from someone who’s favorite part of the church service is the worship portion, and who wishes she could spend the entire service just in worship alone. (A time or two in my church in Montana, that’s exactly what we did. Even in the college group I was involved in. Some nights were devoted strictly for worship. L<3ved it). My mind wasn’t even on the message that morning. I took notes as I always do, to help me to pay attention. That didn’t help. I was distracted. My mind was somewhere else altogether. Don’t ask me what the message was about because I couldn’t tell you.
And this week I didn't want to go.......home! HaHA!!!
This morning a little guy (about seven I think) I worked with started off grumpy. His g-tube was irritating him as always. On numerous occasions I had to get his hands away from it for fear of it being dislodged. I tried to get him involved in activities and he just pulled away grimacing, grunting, and moaning. It broke my heart. A silent prayer for the Lord's help and suddenly.......everything seemed to turn around.
A little encouragement from my supervisor to be hands on with him, helping him participate in worship. (eye contact, hand over hand with some sign), I quickly found out that he L <3 VES when you do this. His face lit up and he started to make sounds. He hugs me. He pets Alehe. Pushes my wheelchair. Smiles. (Oh those smiles are sooooooooooooo adorable!!!!) I seriously want to steal this child and take him home with me…..I know, I say that about all of them, Lol!
I sat near L at Bible-story time, scratching his back. For some children, depending on their disability, this is a calming mechanism. Haha! My poor hand was done!!! I stopped scratching. Pretty soon, I felt a small hand grasp mine ever so gently and pull it, placing it on his little back; his little eyes looking up at me, face beaming. I cracked up laughing. Apparently, HE wasn't quite done yet.
I had to leave a few minutes early from the class so that my family and I could go to lunch with some longtime family friends. I did not want to leave that classroom. I did not want our time together to end. All day I had been on cloud nine, just completely pumped up on adrenaline; and I was until well after midnight when I finally convinced myself to go to bed. I don’t remember my head hitting the pillow.
When I arrived home from church a contemporary Christian artist was on my mind, well, a particular album of his. “ Story of Your Life” by Matthew West. I jumped on my Itunes and listened to Matthew West’s song “I Love You More”. The Lord poured it’s words over me like a refreshing stream after a long trek through the rugged mountains. I’ve been playing it over and over for days now.

“And I want you to know that I’m not letting go, even when you come undone” ~ GOD

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