Seasons May Change, But God is Forever the Same

When I first moved to Montana, I thought I would be spending the rest of my life here. A short time and whatever desire I had to ever move back to California...gone. It felt like home....almost immediately.
Hindsight is always 20/20. Looking back at the past year and a half (seems like three) I saw a chain of events that told me something was up. "God is up to something" is what I kept telling myself early on. Landing (and then losing) my first job, my first ...and second staph infection, not being able to find another job, the ups and downs with the house I currently live in. When mom called me one afternoon and told me they were moving me back to Cali, I bawled... for three days. I still LOVED Montana. I still saw myself living the rest of my life here. I thought I was nearing my dream.
Five months prior to all this I was at a rally where we had a speaker and three or so bands that played their music. One of them really stuck out to me; Richard Andrew Experiment. I immediately added him to MySpace. A few months later and he has a Facebook page...added him there too. One afternoon listening to his music and I had to ask myself "WHY do I like his music so much. SOMETHING kept me coming back to it. Then this moving back to California came up---and his music is hitting me A LOT differently. I just happened to see on his FB page he posted a video of him singing a song he wrote at his church, a song called 'None Compares'. It had me resting my head against my computer keyboard, bawling. I came across his YouTube page where he had posted others and came aross 'Fall Apart'. Uh-oh, here we go again! I don't know why exactly (must have been a God thing), but I shared with him my frustration.
Now, I have kept the notiication of his note on my FB wall for some time now, and read his note often. Just a week or so ago I read it and the word 'peace' stuck out to me. God seemed to be telling me it was time to pray for peace regarding my move. Peace, I didn't want it, I was afraid to pray for it for fear it was a "giving in" to my moving back. It took me day and a half. The crazy thing was, once I did I immediately felt it. Whoa! THAT was fast! Where there was once fear, there is now excitement! I am listening to RA's music he gave me when we first met and even THOSE are messing with me :D,

Unchanged - "Your situation has changed, but I(God) have not, My plans for you have not"
New Song - God's challenge to me in the midst of difficult circumstances

The rest of them, lines stuck out to me -

Give Your Life to Jesus - "Hopes, dreams, fears, anxieties, frustrations"
Love All Over the World - " No one understands the path that led me, to losing everything that I held dear, and after watching it all disappear, He's beckoning me near..."
Enough is Enough - "I'm just looking for peace that I don't understand....." Funny how earlier the word 'peace' in his note really hit me.
Chief - Like 'Give Your Life to Jesus', this one just grew on me. lol!



Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future.

I think it Has God Written All Over it.

I know I posted this once already, but I realized I had left out a few details, so the original post might have been a bit confusing to some, if not all.

The past three years I have had PC&D's song 'Rollercoaster Ride of Life' in my mind. The title literally describes how life has been in that time.
I thought I had the job of my dreams just six months graduated from my second college degree. My very first day and a co-worker has an allergy attack to servicedog Alehe and is rushed to the ER(she does not take meds for it). I then started leaving Alehe at home while I went to work (she protested by eating ALL the popcorn off my Christmas tree that my roomies had spent three hours stringing and putting up. She had it down in lesst than two). Weeks later and I am in the ER myself with a nasty staph infection in my lower right leg. In the meantime I am searching for another job. Six months after my first staph infection...it hits again - same leg, but we catch it early. Same heavy medication through an IV instead of the nasty PICC line the threaded through my upper arm to my heaert (yeah, I nearly jumped off the table, it HURT!) Meanwhile I am still searching for work teaching young ones. Because I have a disabiltiy anbd use a wheelchair and because I have a servicedog that acompanies me everywhere I go......I am receiving every lame@ss (pardon me) excuse in the book as to why I am not hired.

God is up to something. It's what I have been hearing for months now. When I started going to church on Saturday nights it was because Sunday mornings I would hopefully be teaching Sunday school here pretty soon, and I have been now since November. The theme for our Saturday night service - "New Beginnings". Was God trying to tell me something?
Never did I think it would include my moving back to Southern California. I swore I would never leave..okay, wait. There are A LOT of things I swore I would never do...leaving California in the first place, teaching, teaching preschool. SHUTTING UP NOW!!! Lesson learned.
A few months ago I went to an outreach a friend of mine helped put together. She knew of a budding Christian artist and invited he and his band to come play, along with a few other budding singer/songwriters. His name is Richard Andrew. I enjoyed his music, though none of his songs spoke to me really. At one point he caught me grooving to one of his tunes (I didnt even know I was doing it!). I had been leaving short messages on his MS page about how much I loved his music. He left a message on mine one day about being thankful for newfound friendships. Then he gets a FB page and of course I had to add him. I am on FB much more than MS anyway. I shared with him one day about my pending move to CA and what I was feeling. He responded with---

Tryna... so sorry to hear about the many struggles you're facing with the pending move back to So. Cal. Sometimes the most difficult decisions are in perfect sync with God's will and plan, so be on the lookout for HIS work in the midst of this season of change you're facing. You will be in my prayers sis. When you get to So Cal be sure to let me know...that's my homebase. We'll hook up and see if the Lord might use me or someone I know to help with your transition (perhaps a job?) No matter what happens, Montana or California, my prayers are will you, and I'm here. "Help is on the way!" ~RA

His last line to me was a portion of lyrics to one of his somngs I listened to on his YouTube page and just happeened to put in a message to him about what spoke to me in that song. Since the decision was made that Iwould be moving back to California, NOW his songs are hitting me like they weren't before. A LOT of them! He wrote in his note about the possibility of God using him when I get there, i think God is already using him. And i hope/pray God keeps on using him.
When I first heard I was being moved back to Cali, I was distraught, trying to figure out where God was in this whole mess. I believed He had the power to change the situation. Instead of changing the situation, I believe He is changing ME! I am actually excited about starting a "New Beginning" so to speak. (Quick, somebody take my temperature!!) I didn't want to pray for peace about moving if that was His will. But again, I did it because I felt He was asking me to.
Growing up I had a dream of living in a beautiful, spacious place such as Montana. I saw my moving here fifteen years ago as a step toward that dream. We lived in Corvallis Montana on forty acres with horses, dogs, chickens, cattle (they weren't exactly ours but we rented to the owner who eventually gave us one calf in exchange for rent. THE first calf born on our property. Dad named him Norman....until we found out later it was a girl. Then it beame Norma, who eventually bore us a Norman). I said at one point if I never got that again it would be okay (I think I might of fibbed just a bit). I've been giving it to God, He can do with it what He wants.
A couple of nights ago I had an interesting dream. Now, lately I have been forgetting my dreams as soon as I wake. What I do remember never makes sense(stress dreams from what I've heard from a friend). I gave it to God. Anyway, this particular dream I COULD remember. And it was sweet! I remember receiving a gift from my parents (I think, its the only part I can't remember). It was a greenish blue butterfly clock to hang above the fireplace mantle, Only it was in large sections. When I awoke from the dream I had part of a song running through my head---

In Your time, in Your time
You make all things beautiful
In Your time....

Dream

A few years ago I recieved a prophetic word about dreams, something about God speaking to me through them. I had been having a lot of dreams that a) didn't make sense b) scared the living bejezuz out of me. I wanted God to do something about them.
I had a dream last night (amazing I even remembered it as I usually forget them upon waking). I had received a rather large but beautiful green/blue butterfly clock as a gift (for what purpose I dont remember). I do remember having to put it together as it was in three or four large pieces. Friends were there to help me but who I cannot recall. Strangely enough though, I awoke with a praise/worship song stuck in my head "He makes all things beautiful, in His time".

God Moment IV : Outpour 2009 and "God is Up to Something"

I logged into Facebook one afternoon to find an event invitation from a Chi Alpha friend. Outpour 2009 with Shaun Smith was happening March 1st on the UofM campus here in Missoula. I decided to go since I just happen to live two blocks away. Now that I use a powerchair, I can travel at night a bit easier. For the next couple of days until the conference, I spent less time at my computer, seeking what God would have for me this weekend.
I came expecting, and once again God delivered. The very first night He used a prophetic word not spoken by the speaker himself (of which I was hoping for seeing how he was giving them to others in attendance), but through a gentleman on his ministry team. Shaun Smith had asked for a raise of hands for people who were experiencing different things in their lives and prayed over them. Then a worship song ensued. I just happened to be raising my hands in worship when two or three people from the ministry team walked over, placed their hands on me, and prayed. One of the gentleman struck up a conversation with me and I shared with him what I was feeling. Events of the past few months, years maybe, had been weighing heavily on me. He then began to share with me a picture God had given him as I spoke.
He spoke of seeing a racehorse behind the starting gate, who was raring to go (The fact that he used a horse excited me as I just happen to love horses in general). He then went on to explain that God was up to something (This part REALLY excited me as for months I too felt as though God was up to something. At least, that is how I chose to look at it). I wish I could remember ALL he said to me as I am sure there was more. But my mind was stuck on the "God is up to something" part of his prophetic word.

Outpour 2009 and Shaun Smith --- Notes

The greatest temptation is to hide who we are meant to be.
I cannot escape who I am meant to be
If you risk your reputation.......
1Sam 2:30 - God will honor those who honor Him
The things you put your hands to do; flourish
2Sam 23
I need to reinvent myself
Calling away from mediocrity
God has put greatness in me
God wants to grow you by putting you in high-risk situations
2Sam. 23:8 - 12 (verse 11 - victory)
Atmosphere of Risk
Faith in vs. Faith for
What you do when you are afraid determines your destiny
If you don't fight teh enemy, he tags along and tries to steal your life until you beat him down and refuse to back down and give up what he tries to steal
Dont limit your life to what you can figure out
The 'Miracle Zone' begins where the comfort zone ends
(Heb 11) Risk - willingness to loose life and agenda to gain His life and agenda

1.) Before you unleash exploits, you must unlearn fears
When you let in fear, it restricts you from seeing what God is doing
Fear will NEVER go away
DON'T let fear dictate your life
The greatest risk is not taking it
If you draw back when God is drawing you out, you will miss what God is drawing you to.

2.) Turn your adversity into ministry
Adversity DOES NOT have to define you
God wants us to take Him up on His promises

3.) Faith doesn't eliminate uncertainties, it embraces them
Faith - the most important musle

My Trip to Seattle

Wow am I ever behind on posts lately. A lot has been happening and I guess my mind is a bit frazzled! Here's a partial update. More posts to come.

The primary reason we were in Seattle a while back was so that I could get a second opinion on some medical issues I have been dealing with for years, but have grown considerably worse in the past few months. It turned out to be a great thing seeing a specialist, and a bit emotional for some of us (mom). I was amused at the very beginning as we waited in a room after a medical test and the first words out of her mouth when she opened the door were, "Your (certain part of the human anatomy)'s crap. I have never had a docotr put it so bluntly before, I had to laugh.
Mom and I are extremely glad we went although now comes the hardest part, deciding if I want to do surgery or not. Physially, I am not in any danger if I decide to do nothing. but the surgery that would be done (as the test ruled out a few other options)is rather involved. The final outcome would be awesome for me, but the thought of going through surgery again.... :P (sticking tongue out)
Meanwhile, I am thinking.....and praying!

So after the appointment, I had a couple of extra days - to have fun! Mom and I ate at the Cheesecake Factory one night for dinner. The dinner was AWESOME! (I can't even remember what I had now, dangit!) Another nights dinner my brother took us to a restaraunt where they served 'Pho", pronounced 'Fuh'. Ohhhhhh was that ever gooooooooood! My tastebuds were doing the happy dance! Of course I ate way more than my stomach thought it could handle.

One afternoon we went on the 'Duck Tours' in Seattle. The 'Ducks' were hybrid vehicles (front end jeep, back end boat) that go on water AND land. It was neat to see where the t.v. show 'Cheers' was filmed. We also saw where they filmed "Sleepless in Seattle". The whole time we were on the tour the captain played themed music while giving the tour. It was great!

My brother attends Mars Hill church near his home. I had been there a few times when visiting and we went again this trip. The worship is simmiliar to CLC's worship. The pastor is great! He was preaching a series on Trial: 8 Witnesses from 1st and 2nd Peter. There was even a study guide. It was the first week of this new series and it really hit home for me. The stage was even made to look like the inside of a detectives office.

CH 14: Destined to Become Great

Regardless of where you were raised or born, you have been destined to become great.

Whatever God has called you to do, if you are being obedient to His call, then you are walking in greatness!

...You need to begin to see yourself doing great things.

Isaiah 54:17 - nothing formed against you can prosper

TIME TO DREAM

When you recognize the gift God has placed inside you and begin to walk in it, God will begin to open doors for you like never before.

There is nothing God cannot do.