-- In His Strength: Winter Advance - Evening Service, Day 2 www.superfluousbanter.org

In His Strength

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength --- Philippians 4:13

Friday, February 24, 2006

Winter Advance - Evening Service, Day 2


From this point on things became interesting.

I have known for a few years now that the calling on my life is for children. In what capacity is was not made clear, but teaching preschool...could things get any better?! Even deeper is this desire for a spouse. But was God calling me to singleness forever? I did not know. I have had this desire in me ever since I was young child. I would love to be able to one day have children of my own, yet if that is not possible, then adoption is my hearts desire. But not unless there can be a father in the home too.

Anyway, there were points in the evenings message that made me think, "In terms of breaking free, what did I have to break free from?" I thought back to previous XA events and recalled the areas that God was working through. I couldn't think what else therecould be. Then God reminded me of my singleness. I had been struggling to be content in that area. Part of me wanted to be. Part of me was afraid of being alone my whole life. I see people, even those younger than I that are getting married. Addictions and emotions were areas the speaker mentioned. The Lord showed me I struggled with the latter, breaking free from the need for someone to meet my needs. It was the next statement he made that I had to catch my breath.

The calling on my life, can I give that up for a spouse?

But put that way, teaching children seem more important. He then said something that made me smile ( I couldn't help it either).

God will bring a helpmate along as you fulfill His calling for you.

(big smile)

I think I can be content with that

At the closing worship time, Eric had an altar call, for exactly what I cannot remember. I felt in my spirit I should have gone, but something kept me in my seat. So I silently prayed where I was. For the first time in my life I was able to let go of the refusal to be content. Something that was said earlier in the service by one of our own XAers resonated within me. "Trust God in the relationships".

God spoke again as we were singing "I Surrender" and "No Sacrifice"
"Write down your dreams. Give them to God. Not just once, but continuously." See what I can do with them."



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