Talk About Awkward!

So Saturday evening I got set up on a blind date, if that's what you wanna call it. A former roomie and a mutual friend went along also. It was kind of a weird situation. A friend of mine thought the two of us would be a good couple. He is 35, also a Christian and in a wheelchair. (I later found out it was a car accident 20 years ago) Four of us met at southgate mall and hung out shopping together for a few hours. I bought a few things; shoes, CD and DVD. I had a giftcard for Sam Goody and the shoes I have weren't supporting my feet to much anymore. I felt like we pretty much did our own thing at the mall, T and I together and J and R together. We didn't hang out much there. My former roomie and I went to a movie afterward while the other two went out to dinner with a friend of theirs (already planned) so we would meet them later for yet another movie.

My former roomie and I went to see 16 Blocks. I had never heard if it before, but she said it was supposed to be really good. It was awesome! I think we gave one of the ticket sellers a shock. We came out of the first movie only to turn right around once we met the other two and went right back in. The second movie we saw was Pink Panther. I didn't think I would like it as much as I did. It was a bit on the cheesy side, but I did laugh.

Part way through the second movie something dawned on me. Right in front of where my former roomie and I sat there was a loveseat. Why don't they have something like that for people in wheelchairs I wonder? He had to sit at the opposite end of our row. So my former roomie and I sat together while the other two sat together on the other side. It made for an awkward evening. At least the four of us got in for free .

I saw him at church this morning. He didn't say anything to me, and when I turned around to talk to him after the service, he was already gone.

As far as I know, the only thing we had in common were that we both were christians and used wheelchairs. I did find out tht he was a business major when in school. He didnt talk much when he was around, but he loved Ally (and vice versa, no surprise there).

WPA EXAM ---Take Two

God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power,
love and a sound mind. 2Timothy 1:7
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:13

This is what I had to keep telling myself as I was going into the WPA exam for the second time. I really did not want to have to take it a third time. Well, this time I was going to do everything I could to make sure I passed. Only it didn't quite turn out that way. Somehow the two dates I had set aside to go to the lectures on how to take it and how to prepare eluded me. Completely slipped my mind. :<>So I did the next best thing and printed off information from the web. All the how to's, tips and such. I checked the web every day so that I could print the article I was supposed to read (they only post it two to three weeks in advance). I read through the article daily, familiarizing myself with it. I went to the writing center and spoke with a tutor about my first exam and what I could do to improve.

I came into the exam with a strategy. I would write a brief summary of the article, what the authors position is, his explanation for that position, my position, and finally my explanation for my position. I told myself I would take up the full two hours we were given, and just take it slow as to not psych myself out. I still had half an hour left in the exam when I finished. I took that time to read and reread my paper, almost three pages (my first try was a page and a half). I printed my paper and turned it in. I proceeded to pray all the way home.

My first time taking the exam I had to read an article about the noble lie, telling someone a false statement for their own good. In this case the noble lie was used in politics to sway the votes. Something like that. Horrible, politics is just not my thing. My score on tht was a 22. :(

This time round the article was easier. It was an article written by Malcolm X. In it he writes about his education and when someone asked him what his alma mater was, he replied "Books". He did a lot of reading while he was in prison, never went to college.

Before typing one word on the computer, I had a peice of scratch paper that I penned a brief outline, something I failed to do the first time. I deviated from the outline some, but I think it helped me stay focused and not jump all over the place like I did before. I still managed to finish with a half an hour remaining, so I read and reread what I wrote to make sure it had no mistakes, and it made sense. Then I turned it in.

I have been afraid to check for my score the past few days. I got the nerve this morning to check, and to my surprise...

I PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! May 2006 graduation, here I COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Remember! Use Your Brain!"

This is what I was told by one of my preschoolers today. I cracked up laughing and told him "okay, I will". One of our learning centers today was making dinosaur rubbings. This little boy had made quite a few (they all thought it was great) and he had given one of them to me. I asked if he would put his name on it for me so that I would remember who it was from. He whined a bit and then told me to "Remember! Use your brain!" I had to share the comment with my supervisor and it got a laugh out of her too.

Kids say the darndest things.

On another note I was amazed at the creativity of one child at a learning center I had put together. Mine was a painting center, and children were to put drops of watercolor paint (it would flow the easiest) and then blow on the drops using a straw, watching how the paint would streak across their page in different directions. Every child tried it, and one child really took off with his art idea. He had a green watercolor paint and made trees. Then, with the brown watercolor paint, he made roots at the bottom of his trees.

I was singing worship songs all the way home, I was in such a good mood.

Dreams

God has been speaking a lot lately, mostly by the way of circumstances, and of course, too fast for me to write it all down. Oh, where to begin!

Shortly after Winter Advance came Valentines Day. A few of us in the house had exchanged cards and goodies with the others. Once card I received caught my attention. The message on the front was "Let your heart dream." Was God using this card to tell me something, something pertaining to His message to me at Winter Advance? I can only wonder.

Lately this same roomate has been constantly telling me "You're Beautiful". Up until now, I haven't been able to believe that about myself. Maybe what's on the inside, but I sense now that God has been slowly wiping away the residue left by years of negative comments I received growing up, and slowly beginning to make me see the beauty He has placed there. I may not be the most beautiful person in the world and thats okay. But God thinks so. That's all that matters. I am able to look at myself in the mirror with a God's eye view now.

"Sometimes God gives us a dream only to accomplish something greater than that dream." Where I heard this recently I can't seem to recall now, but its a thought that has had me thinking for some time. What could God possibly be doing greater than the dreams He has placed in my heart? Whatever it is, the suspense is killing me! I wish He'd hurry it up already. But somehow I know that there are other things He's trying to accomplish in me that need to come first.

The preschoolers still manage to capture my heart most every day I am in the preschool (which is sadly only one day a week). I almost feel guilty for having so much fun with the little ones. I feel like I'll soon be getting paid to play! Just last week I seemed to have a conversation with God in my head. The Lord seemed to be telling me as I am interacting with the boys and girls that I was "made for this moment".

A feeling of contentment has finally washed over me in the past week or two. There are still things I desire to happen, but with more confidence they will (the gift of faith starting to grow inside me) and therefore the wait is less tormenting.

I must remind myself daily to surrender my dreams to the Master's Plan.






Now if He would do something miraculous to make me pass the writing exam!