Fall Retreat 2007 - What a Rush!

Should I stay or should I go?

Fall retreat was this past weekend. And because of a lot of hubbub going on with me lately, I needed a touch from God. Parents encouraged me to go. I knew I had the money, but I wasnt sure where it would leave me for other things that might come up. Luckily, I got shopping done soon after I paid for the trip. Sorry to Ohiodawa for the confusion. I had decided a while ago that I wasnt going because of $$(drives my parents nuts) and so she was going to go home that weekend. I guess I didnt say anything when I changed my mind. That's what I get for thinking about talking to her for so long, at one point I thought I had!

The speaker was Jenny McJunkin and she spoke on the topic of Singleness. I had no idea when I first signed up who the speaker was nor the topic of the weekend. I could have been the only one in the room she was speaking to. Each session, Friday night, Saturday morning/evening, and Sunday morning - spoke volumes to me where as it is usually one session where God hits me big. But this time, it rocked all the way through!

The Four Sessions included Intimacy with God, Developing Strong Relationships, Character, and Find the Right One to Marry - this fourth one was kept secret until the start of that session.

Intimacy with God
Song - I have a Maker. Something about the words just really struck me this weekend. I often worry about things even when I know I don't need to. God knows every intimate detail about my life and its goings-on. I just have to remind myself of that. It goes along with another point in her sermon - "Listen to God and all else will fall into place." Eeghad, why do I worry about my life being boring!? So far, it's been anything but!

Singleness, both a gift and a blessing.
I had to repent and ask forgiveness for not seeing it that way.

Dates with God and God wants to fill the lonely ache with more of Him.
Hmmm, dating God. A new way of looking at spending time with Him. I am terrible (it seems to me anyway) at getting quality alone time with Him. But I like the idea of at least getting one day out of every week to really get to know Him. I will continue to get alone wth Him daily, but make it a point of gettign together on one particular day (other than Sunday, as I already look forward with great anticipation as to what He will do in church).

Develop healthy relationships/friendships
God has given me this season for many reasons. One of them for growing and developing frioendships. As much as I enjoy the people around me, I look forward to new friendships that may come along (where are all the thrity-somethings in our church!). God has even challenged me to deepen the friendships that I already have. Even if it means contacting them by phone once a week. Right now, it's just sporatic. Even being more purposeful in conversations.
Isaiah 54: Seeing God as My Husband
For right now, until and even into the season that God brings me a mate, I shall concentrate on making friendships a proiority by initiating regular contact - talking on the phone more, sending an e-mail, etc. I need to work on this. Especially in the area of listening. Of course it is hard to do with friends who don't say much. I must get creative in my interactions because as I have learned this weekend "as we love on others, our selfishness decreases". ME - "Lord, teach me to become selfless".

Can't remember her name
speakers mother
praying for me numerous times
healing of the SB and supernatueral dreams
"Healing is ongoing, miracles are instant"

Character Development
God was really talking to me through worship.'Never underestimate my Jesus' was playing during discussion question time when I hear His sweet Spirit saying to me
"My Daughter, you are Mine and I love you!"
With the speakers message on chracter came 'preparation for marriage'. I have struggled to ask God about my future in this area. Afraid tho hear the word 'no' I guess. And if I had it my way, I would have been married with kids long ago. Can't quite understand why its taken so long, but then again I couldnt understand why He had me in college for thirteen years! (well, eleven if you dont count the 1 1/2 years out of college due to health issues).
Stop looking and start becoming. This statement had a huge impact on me. I have been so busy wondering if so and so could be it, I have completely forgotten about preparation! Another huge one for me this weekend was when she mentioned getting distracted by outward appearance (mine and his). Developing my character and looking for someone with character need to be more of a focus than looks. How am I supposed to attract someone with good character if I don't work on my own (not that I am saying anything bad about mine). A point I need to remind myself over and over again..., a man will Not solve all my problems. Only God is big enough to do that dirty work.

Find the right one to marry 8OD
This was the one that Jenny held back from mentioning at the beginning of the retreat, and for good reason.
God is pro-marriage
He may be holdign it from me for good reasons( like AC told me at a bible study last year "He wants to keep me all to Himself." This statement has messed with me since.
We are praying God's will when praying to find a spouse
many time s I tried to pray, and many times I got discouraged, thinking "maybe He doesn't have this for me"
We do our part, God does His
AS long as I am living for God and accomplishing what He has called me to do (preschoolers, YEAH!!!) He will do His part and draw us to eachother (He may not just have one perfect person, but there may be more than one that I may choose from and still be in His will.)
How to Find the Right One
Make yourself attractive
Spiritual Development - working on the inside of me; strengthening my walk with the Lord. Concentrating more on being (becoming) the ideal person, and not so much on finding the person.
Dont let your appearance limit you*****
how you believe is how others see you
What am I subconciously projecting
Change your mentality!!!
I have struggled in the past (and sometimes still struggle today) with my appearance. God has had to work on me royally in this area of my life. Slowly, He is changing the opinion of myself, and makign me believe that once can look past the outer appearance adn love me for who I am inside (I think I feel a Disney song comeing on)
Jer. 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future
Allow God to be creative
Oh how I dream of the day. But of course I know my imagination is limited, and God could cause it to happen unlike any dream I have ever had...or could have. But I still go on dreaming.
Trust God's Timing*****
Don't get discouraged
These two go hand in hand for me. As mucbh as I would love it to happen yesterday, I feel I am to focus on my career for right now...at least finding the ideal job. Can I handle marriage and career? I am sure willing to give it all I got to try, even with my dream of adoption. As far as discouragement goes, when you've seen countless friends getting hitched, married and then having kids, and they are all younger than you...It's hard not to become discouraged. In my mind my dreams should have happened by now.

For a week after the retreat, and even as I write this (as I have been working on it for at least two!) God was still moving through what was spoken that weekend.
Please check my flickr page often as I am still needing to post a few pictures.

Oh God is SO GOOD!

I've Got Another Job Interview!

SJ from Jobs just called me a few minutes ago a\nd said she hax just set up a job interview with Cuddle Bugs daycare/preschool. She was so excited abot it she had to call me on her cell phone rather than wait to call me from her office when she returned.

I have driven by that place numerous times going to FC, the doctor, etc., and it didn't look accessible as there was a giant step. But I was assured that there was a cement ramp in the back of the building.

Driving by it all the time I had this feeling that it would be cool to work there, just becaus eI liked the name so mjuch. SJ has a good feelign abotu the place. She liked the people who worked there.

OH YES, and they were fine with me bringing Alehe. YAY!


UPDATE:
The interview went better than expected. I was hardly nervous at all(I guess thsi seminar is helping :)). The place looks relatively small from the outside, but like my house, once you go inside you are amazed at the space. She asked me maybe four main questions adn a bit of info about previous experience. She even said it looked like I had a lot of experience from my resume (most people are discouraged by the lack of experience i have had). I shall hear back within the week.

Meanwhile, we are looking into a few more options.

At Daughter's Retreat '07, I Got High

On Jesus,Duh!

The third annual Daughter's Retreat was a few weekends ago and to sum it up in three words...God Is Awesome!

Each session (Friday night, Saturday morning and evening) was focused on Aspects of Jesus' life and ministry. Being friend of sinners, intolerant of injustice No Condemnation, and His Sacrifice - Our response.

Friend of Sinners

A woman is most beautiful when she is at rest
I don't take alt of time for rest. When I do try to rest from activity during the day my mind automatically goes into 'what should I be doing now' mode. So rest is not always what occurs.

Do not despise who God created you to be

I often wonder how my life would be different if I were who I am living in another country, and I am thankful for where God has placed me. He's taught me through my disability that if I were any different, my relationship to Him wouod also possibly be different. No. He wouldn't love me any different, but has made me proud of my position in Christ, rather than pride in how I look or act , etc.

Jesus does not condemn

During worship this night, God spoke to me through a slow version of Nothing But the Blood - Place your confidence in God alone, not your dreams, not any other person, but God.
God speaks to me most through worship and nature

Intolerant of Injustice

During worship when we sang -Beautiful one, I cried throughout the song, now I can't even remember why. When in the middle of singing 'How Great is Our God, two things were going through my mind. I looked outside the window in fron of us and marveled at the scenery before us. Living in a beautiful state such as Montana, I sometimes feel spoiled. Looking out at the grandeur in all around me th8si weekend, while;e singing this song I couldn't help but marvel at God for His Creation.
Something else spoke to me while singing this song. Just how big of a God I serve. A God who is so powerful, He could turn my dreams into reality. No matter how far and impossible they might seem to me.

In How Great is Our God again, when we sang the line about time is in His hands God has asked me to hold on and wait for His timing; when things happen in my life, how they happen.
Another point that hit home for me was this one, "Jesus does not see a prostitute.He sees a person with true potential". God's speaking "or diabiltiy, etc. after she said prostitute. God sees totally different than we do. There is so much out there that we can't see, but God has a plan.I do not have to know if and when soenmthign is going ot happen in my lfe. Jesus:"Trust Me".

Jesus was voice driven, meaning He was always led by His father's voice in the act of obedience rather than seeing the need adn being driven to do something about it. If God tdl Jesus to do something, He wa obedient and did what the Father told Him to do. It is to be the same in our own lives. I also learned a few new things about obedience. For one, obedience can mean responding to what God puts on our hearts. Or when he puts something oin our hearts, we rise up to meet Him and respond to whatever we feel He is speakign to us. My prayer this weekend was that He would give me mopre opportunity to respond to His voice. Adn that I would be abl;e to hear Him and know beyond a shadow of a doubt tht it is Him speaking.

Journal time afterward was special. I started by reading last years DR notes and the verses on Confidence and Patience, the ones on Confidence really hitting home.

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

It is better to take refuge in the LORD
than to trust in man.

One of the things God had spoken to me during my quiet time was a phrase I hear often - Let God and Let God. This time, He went a bit further with that staeement, adding a little twist - Let Go and TRUST God. Something I have a hard time doing, and so I chose to be obedient in that. I have had quite a few things happening in the past six months that needed releasing to Him. And so now I wait with anxious anticipation to see what He will do.

Christs Sacrifice, Our Surrender, our response
(leaves...) on staff with us this semester
"Obedience can bring guilt when it should bring love and joy"

And the BIG ONE for me - Dream big for the future

Reminde of the SALT congference with Alecia Chole a few years ago and how she spoke on becoming disollutioned. I gues I had become disillusioned with my dreams for the future, and this weekend was God's way of convincing me He was still in control.

Pictures
got one of From a Joyful Heart roasting a marshmallow in the fireplace
didn't get a group picture :(, don't know who did

i brought reading material for something to do durign our free time (to read while I get my feet up)-the small book P.S. God Loves You from J and N Engels, campus pastor from previous years. What an encouragement.